- The logic is irrefutable:
- CROWD:
- A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch! A witch! Burn her! Burn her! Burn her! We've found a witch! We've found a witch! A witch! A witch! A witch!
- VILLAGER #1:
- We have found a witch. May we burn her?
- BEDEVERE:
- Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
- VILLAGER #1:
- Are there?
- VILLAGER #2:
- Ah?
- VILLAGER #1:
- What are they?
- CROWD:
- Tell us! Tell us!...
- BEDEVERE:
- Tell me. What do you do with witches?
- VILLAGER #2:
- Burn!
- VILLAGER #1:
- Burn!
- CROWD:
- Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
- BEDEVERE:
- And what do you burn apart from witches?
- VILLAGER #1:
- More witches!
- VILLAGER #3:
- Shh!
- VILLAGER #2:
- Wood!
- BEDEVERE:
- So, why do witches burn?
- [pause]
- VILLAGER #3:
- B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?
- BEDEVERE:
- Good! Heh heh.
- CROWD:
- Oh, yeah. Oh.
- BEDEVERE:
- So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?
- VILLAGER #1:
- Build a bridge out of her.
- BEDEVERE:
- Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
- VILLAGER #1:
- Oh, yeah.
- RANDOM:
- Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
- BEDEVERE:
- Does wood sink in water?
- VILLAGER #1:
- No. No.
- VILLAGER #2:
- No, it floats! It floats!
- VILLAGER #1:
- Throw her into the pond!
- CROWD:
- The pond! Throw her into the pond!
- BEDEVERE:
- What also floats in water?
- VILLAGER #1:
- Bread!
- VILLAGER #2:
- Apples!
- VILLAGER #3:
- Uh, very small rocks!
- VILLAGER #3:
- Uh, churches! Churches!
- VILLAGER #2:
- Lead! Lead!
- ARTHUR:
- A duck!
- CROWD:
- Oooh.
- BEDEVERE:
- Exactly. So, logically...
- VILLAGER #1:
- If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of wood.
- BEDEVERE:
- And therefore?
- VILLAGER #2:
- A witch!
- VILLAGER #1:
- A witch!
- CROWD:
- A witch! A witch!...
So why don't we burn people to death anymore?? You could say it's because it's against the law, but then, so is murder and that happens every day. The Good Book says "Everything is permissible - but not everything is constructive." (1 Corinthians 10:23). So you see, there's nothing really stopping us. And there was a time when we thought it absolutely necessary.
The reason, of course, is because we know better. Same thing will happen with money. We will wonder why we ever let it rule our lives. "What were they thinking??" But now we say, "We've GOT to have money. There IS NO OTHER WAY! Without it nothing will work!" But we speak of money as we should of love. Eventually, though, it will go the way of witch burning - just too dumb a concept to continue. And in the future they will be writing satirical skits about us...
A baby is born!
Mother:
Yes, our baby!
Father:
A baby boy!
Doctor:
But the baby has no money!
Mother:
Bad baby!
Father:
Worthless baby!
All:
Get money, baby, or you'll just have to die!
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