Sarcasm Alley
Life in the alley, the last free place. A place of puke, poverty, parables and perfidy.
Saturday, July 04, 2026
The Traitor
Thursday, July 02, 2026
The Grand Illusion
"Come to talk to me-e!"
Enemy soldier
"Come sing with me-e!"
General ordering
"Don't get alo-ong!"
General pleading
"Don't sing that so-ong!"
General snarling
"You'll fight in the e-end!"
General slithering
"When they kill your fri-e-end!"
General panic
"Just got to beg-in!"
God's sacred soldier
"Don't want to fi-ight!"
God's sacred soldier
"Don't tell me what's ri-ight!"
Good soldiers leaving
"Not gonna st-ay!"
Battlefield empty
Kids call it ga-ay-ay!
Politicians angry
"There's no other wa-ay!"
Hopeless souls swoon
"War must be so-o!"
Angry men wail
"Don't let it go-o!"
Losers' lament
"War is all we kno-ow."
Sunday, June 28, 2026
Crashing The (Tech CEO) Pearly Gates
St. Peter pounded on the terminal at his podium at the Pearly Gates. "Thank God I'm in Heaven where pounding on stuff actually makes things work." Then a newly arrived voice spoke to him.
"Dude! You need an upgrade - and I'm just the guy to do it."
"There is no upgrade to Heaven. This is the best and final version. It's you I ask: Are you saved?"
"You bet I am! Ain't nothing that can be pinned to me."
"But I see here on your record billions in currency was lost due to your deceptive practices. Environmental damage around the world. And various other ways you acted against the very users you were supposed to be supporting."
"Yes, but people got to share their photos! Nonetheless, I'm saved no matter what."
"How so?"
"It's right there in our Terms Of Service. I'm allowed to do all those things and get away with it scot-free."
The tech CEO grinned in complete confidence, waiting to have his cake and eat it too. St. Peter looked confused.
"I'm sorry, bro. We have Our own Terms Of Service here."
"What! You just can't force your own terms on people however you want! That's an outrage!"
"It's Our way or the highway. Do you insist on writing your own Terms Of Service?"
"Damn straight, I do! I'm not staying anyplace where I don't get to write the rules. Let that be a lesson to you."
"As you wish," remarked Peter as he yanked the lever for the trap door to Hell.
Saturday, June 27, 2026
Another Seal Broken
Things have taken a turn for the worse. Five years ago I had a Get-Out-Of-Hell-Free card and was scared to use it. I knew not what I did.
These last five years have turned my hair white with woe and misery. Losing KT tortures me daily. The job rut has buried me alive. But it was only recently I found out none of this had to be, that the card was real.
Retirement, KT, a chance to be free. Gone forever. How can I forgive myself - especially on top of the other chances I ran away from?
God has taken revenge.
Not everything has an answer. Don't wander into the desert alone.
Saturday, June 06, 2026
Threads: Sloth Banter
The molten sloth drags its rotted leg down the city night street in a trail of hideous neon.
Threads: Who's Rightly Wrong?
Threads: I Saw Her Standing There
Behind the register stood a slightly lumpy girl whom in the eyes of the world was unremarkable. Her name was Sarah Conner and she's been targeted for termination.
Threads: Left Behind
Like a comedian who focuses on the one guy in the room not laughing, the Bully Billionaire was obsessed with a lone detractor.
Threads: If 666 were 999
Standing on a corner in paradise holding my homeless sign plea for help, a soul I both knew and despised pulled up in his BMW identity ring complaining, "The fast lane isn't as fast as it used to be."
Threads: Night Scenes
Blonde in blue, she followed the protocols of pretty to a T, fitting in but yet not feeling in. On the trip to the night club, the lights outside the car were aflame, marking her journey for the world to see.
Threads: Emptying Head
I see the beauty
I wish to be part of the beauty
But beautiful I am not
-Salieri
just a con-time resident;
There is no holy Pope
just a purple-robed dope;
There is no royalty
just the rich-world's loyalty
of a world refusin'
to admit it's usin'
without defusin'
or reaching conclusion
He kept fighting until
Duly forced to sit still
Questioning his force of will
"Look on this world, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Threads: Wastoid
The gnawing fear had gnawed too far. She knew she must face the Council Of Truth in futile defense.
Threads: Last Night's News
Threads: The Innocence Crime
A car pulled up beside me on the interstate, matching my fast speed. But I saw some deep dips coming up so I slowed down. My rival did not.
Tuesday, April 21, 2026
Threads: Earth Jokes
My alien friend returned. "Why do you tear the pretty colors from your street?"
"And what of this giant wall?"
"We try to wall out the consequences of sin by declaring others illegal."
"How can you call a human illegal?"
Threads: More Earth Jokes
Threads: Ranger Texas Walker
"Oh, my God! It's CHUCK NORRIS, like, Ranger Texas Walker in person!
Threads: Sardine Brain
I'm sitting in a Zoom call listening to droning talk of data migration, and legacy assets, and then ... something else, I don't know, as my brain drifts sideways I see myself in Third Person, watching myself, hoping this act will hold as I slip downstream until the voices fade as an ancient Star shines anew whose pull I cannot resist and when I return I'm left to wonder if Third Person me was noticed to have left.
Threads: The Tides Of March
Can deception be good?
From day one I was loved by everyone I met. At first, I protested when picked early but over time my confidence grew and did better than I ever thought I could. Then my mom shows up in her cleaning clothes.
Threads: App Man Bum
Climbing To The Sun
Leaves you feeling dumb
But never was just quite;
To her friends she flashed a smile
To me she was polite.
In precious pantomime;
But nothing is more costly
Than that of gifted time.
In the deepness of her eyes;
But a Quixotic fellow
Brings manufactured sighs.
If yours is not real life
Then all you have is crap;
Nothing really matters
If you have to have an app.
Too distant is the sun
When an app man bum
Threads: Sheriff Tubby
Sheriff Tubby loved laying down the law - HIS law.
"Things done MY way 'round here as I see fit. You can take any dissent you got on down the road! Nobody steps out of line.
"People here like it this way. No troublemakers or agitators! Just me in control."
The listener responded with a sigh:
Threads: The Big Squeeze
"God damn, I don't believe it."
What special form of torture is this? It's like inviting a homeless man to watch someone buy a Ferrari.
Of course, I'd been hurt if I hadn't been invited and had to listen to others in our circle planning to attend.
Does she know I have feelings for her? What am I to do with them? Is she just being polite?
Till then, just stand back in the shadows and mourn.
Threads: The Rage
Michael, a born artist, complained to his poor parents his need for paint as a "moral necessity." His mother replied: "Morality must be funded."
Threads: Rain Dear
When Change comes
They run and hide their heads
They might as well be dead
When Change comes
They slip into the shade
Change, I don't mind
Shine, the weather's fine
But unlike before, the stones bounced back on the throwers with equal force (some kept on until killing themselves).
And that's how the morons will be purged among us.
Threads: Life With Conservatives
I sat next to a man upon whom a piano was falling. From the grave I got this letter: "Why didn't you tell me, you fucker!"
Threads: Irreligious
Yes, it was me what killed the Hendersons back in the day.





















