The original (and best) satirist

After Moses and Jesus, the person I would most like to meet in the Bible is Elijah, the original mocker. How delicious it would be to have him come back to Earth - invulnerable - and bring his satirical wit to bear on these, our modern times. There would be no stopping him - just much gnashing of teeth. Here he is at work:

"I am the only one of the Lord's prophet's left, Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets. Get two bulls for us. Let them choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood and not set fire to it. Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the Lord. The god who answers by fire - he is God."

Then all the people said, "What you say is good."

Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, "Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god but do not light the fire." So they took the bull given them and prepared it.

Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. "O Baal, answer us!" they shouted. But there was no reponse; no one answered. And they danced around the alter they had made.

At noon, Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is in deep thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed. Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.

At the time of the sacrifice, the prophet Elijah prayed: "O Lord, let it be known today that you are God and I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."

Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.

When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, "The Lord - he is God! The Lord - he is God!"

Then Elijah commanded them, "Seize the prophets of Baal. Don't let anyone get away!" They seized them, and Elijah had them brought to Kishon Valley and slaughtered there.

Now THAT'S funny! "Shout louder, dude, maybe he's asleep!" And they fall for it! Wonder if we have any people like that around today?