Threads: Paradise Lost

Yes, I'm lost in the void of space, directionless and unknown with the other debris where sound is unheard and life is wordless.

Finally, I find a safe spot in the community center and settle in when: "Is there something I can help you with?"

 

This wa destroying busybody comes from behind sticking her face in mine. I tell her no but it's no use.

 

She's convinced I'm too ashamed to ask for help so she keeps insisting. I hate these fucking people you have to prove something to!

 

Rest no more. 

Threads: Beware The Body Politic

After generations of debate, the Gangsters Of Peace defeated the War Mongrels at last. As The ex-Mongrels prepared to return to their faraway home, a Political Beast said to lowly me:

"YOU will determine if this peace lasts! As you pack their provisions there can be no mistake or trust will be lost."

Yet, I did make a mistake but the peace remained. I confronted the beast on not knowing what it thought it knew.

"The love you take is equal to the love you fake," it said with crumbling smile.

 

 

Threads: A Spy Among Friends

 
It's a lonely old world 

Filled with spies and friends; 

Where honesty ends 

Mistrust begins

 

Is it me you're greeting 

Or what you despise? 

We widen the canyon 

When offering lies

 

Clever Trevor 

Has lost his boots; 

Will you shame him 

Or be in cahoots?

 

Is the truth we're hiding 

Not good enough? 

What misery the life 

Lived on a bluff

 

For each of my lies 

I'll find an excuse! 

Till pointless is 

Maintaining the ruse

 

For who have I fooled? 

Believing it you when it's me; 

For finding my love 

Who will I be?

Threads: The Grace Of God?

Ji-ho dare not scream as the king of terror gripped his soul. His 18 year old body could barely keep from retching on the loneliest train in the world to the Russian border. Does justice exist for a North Korean soldier?

"I've no say in this nightmare! Is God such a monster that this is all there is to life? To be shipped as cattle to the Ukrainian front?"

 

The Russian officer laughed at new victims.

 

"God damn you, God!" Ji-ho's last cry, shooting the officer before he himself was gunned down.

 

 

Threads: Everyone's A Critic

Siskel and Ebert did it right. Their stated goal was for you to determine if you wanted to see a movie based on their criticism - not to agree with their views. They did this by making their views their own.

I've lost all respect for professional film critics at this point. Reviews of "The Force Awakens" were absurd, based on fear of not being a part of the crowd. That film was a work of hate. Hatred for Star Wars (in the name of nostalgia!), filmmaking, and most of all, the audience itself.

 

But people often watch films with a political agenda. The Supergirl threads here are hilarious. "The ONLY reason someone can dislike this film is because they are a misogynist incel!"

 

Some people base their opinion on what a film *intends* to be as opposed to what it actually is. Pick a lofty goal for your film and there will be those who praise it regardless of how poorly it's done!

 

Many people watch a film just for its production values; they want a roller coaster ride like Jurrasic Park.

 

Threads: More Monday Mourning

"I *HATE* THIS SHIT! I FUCKING HATE IT! I'M SO *SICK* OF THIS!"

Tess, the new girl in the office, was startled by the outburst. But no one else seemed bothered.

 

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"That's just Feldberg logging in."

 

"NO ONE TOUCH ME! NO ONE TALK TO ME! OR I'LL BURN THIS PLACE DOWN!"

 

"Oh, my! Is it like this every time?"

 

"Sometimes it's worse. You should see it when he has to change his password."

 

"I'm scared! Is he going to be OK?"

 

"Why should he be? No one else is."

 

Threads: Know It Alls

 

Silly Sam had no use for me. "You saying it can't be done means nothing. Are you a scientist??"

"Are you? You can't put that square peg in a round hole!"

 

"I have a dream! My therapist said not to listen to you!"

 

"Newton said two objects can't occupy the same space."

 

"Newton was a Bible-thumping virgin! I'm a realist!"

 

That was 25 years ago. Now Sam is vainly bitter yet still pursuing the glory of the impossible - and still has no use for me.

 

"You keep thinking you know what you do not!"

 

NOTE:Yes, I know Newton did not say that quote but conversations with Sam were always political, i.e. fact free. 

Threads: The Odyssey

 

When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I said, "A mean drunk." I'd read Johnny Carson was a mean drunk and I always loved his show.

 

His marriages kept failing and I figured that's something I could do to. Turns out I was right.

 

Napoleon famously failed with Josephine, declaring, "Power is my mistress." Doesn't sound like much of a bed mate, though.

 

Steve Jobs never resolved his personal life, either. He wanted a microchip for a heart.

 

In my odyssey, I never make it home and die alone. 

Threads: Stinky Pete's Demise

 
As Fleming noted, a predictable routine can be fatal for a spy. It's also true for mafia capos like me.

 

But I have a routine I never miss: a biweekly haircut.

 

The trick? I have cameras posted nearby I check before arriving. That's when I spotted two button men.

 

So when I "suddenly" whipped a U headed to my last barber visit, I could almost hear the panic. "He knows!"

 

They figured I got tipped on the way there, betrayed from within. Two days later, Stinky Pete was found dead in Johnson Creek.

Threads: The Shank Job

Strolling down a lonely road I spot God walking towards me. With shiv in hand, I shank Him right in the belly, whispering, "That's what You get for making me."

"Me dammit!" He exclaims. "I'm not doing anything wrong but *I* have to pay the price for others' sins. 

 

This has to stop or no one will be left alive!"

 

"You may not be interested in politics but politics is interested in You," I drolly reply.

 

"This is so frustrating! I have to be free to live my life!"

 

"Welcome to the party, Pal."