Ode to the Gunfighter

When my book was criticized for not being in a specific genre, I sarcastically wrote this poem as a Western. Not sure if John Ford would have wanted the movie rights to this...

Big Bad Bob Was new on the scene. Beautiful, proud and Just plain obscene! "Dee Debby Dee "Was my true love. "My heart fit her "Like a hand-made glove!" "But on her love "I shut the door. "So now I search "For love no more!" "I'm best with the gun! "You watch and see! "Come gather 'round "And worship me!" None believed him, None thought it true. "Well, just follow me! "I'll make fools of you!" But Jim Jimmy Jim Had the best gun. When men saw him They all would run. Big Bad Bob laughed At Jim Jimmy Jim. "I have a dog who's "Better than him!" Those were words Worth dying for. For with their guns They were both whores. These lovers of death Went to the street. A man can't live If he can be beat! And so death rang out Within their battle. As in the slaughter Of stupid cattle. And thus Jim Jimmy Jim Gave up his life. And Big Bad Bob Had a new wife. He smirked at the Soul-less Jim Jimmy Jim. Then strutted over And jacked off on him. Big Bad Bob loved His dick to be seen. Beautiful, proud and Just plain obscene! He left it out For all to worship. Calling loudly For its courtship. Sad women did swoon And did fall under, Gratefully feeling His lusty plunder. All through the town He was hero to all. They wished to be him, Both big and small. Old Virginia Came out of her house. She yelled to the world, "That man's a louse!" But they beat her back With stick and stone. "She was just jealous "Of his bone!" So day and night His dick would stay out. "Somebody beat me!" He would shout. So gunfighters came From across the land. Against Big Bad Bob They tried their hand. But he would beat them, Every last one. They ended up dead And covered in cum. When Vy Vickie Vy Saw what he could do, She creamed aloud, "My all for you!" She was his servant, His mommy and slave. She cared not If she served a knave. She loved his dick And kept it real big; Making for it A miniature wig. Wide eyed people came From miles around, To watch her dress up Her strutting clown. And women would please it Who stood in a line; And men would please it Who liked to whine. They were days of boasting And days of great feasts. And none could conquer The dangling beast. But then came the ghost Of Jim Jimmy Jim, His timid brother Tim Timmy Tim. He rode into town Armed with only the truth; Calling Big Bad Bob Out of his booth. Big Bad Bob yelled Back to this clod, "Don't fuck with me! "I am a god!" The people there All shook their head; Said Tim Timmy Tim Would soon be dead. But said Tim Timmy Tim, "I know what is true! "I know what it is "That frightens you!" Retorted Bob: "No man alive "Can frighten me! "My dick's still out "For all to see!" But out came a mirror From Tim Timmy Tim, And Big Bad Bob Saw his image just then. Cold monster eyes Were upon his face; And they pleaded to run Away from their place. He tried to get mean, To stare them down; But all his hate Just came back around. Big Bad Bob just stood - His dick hanging out. The wondering people Starting to shout: "Beautiful, proud and "Just plain obscene! "That is the image "We have seen!" Big Bad Bob saw They loved him so; But it was his love He craved to show. This lost soul cried, "What should I do? "Somebody tell me "What's false and what's true!" Bob found his death gun, And took in his breath; With a bang Big Bad Bob Had finished his death. And thus crumpled down An image of man; His image of life Had all been a scam. Then Vy Vickie Vy Let out a scream, "But he was beautiful, proud "And just plain obscene!" This illusion destroyed She could not understand; She held on to his dick With her delicate hand. And thus he lied In his final despair, Big Bad Bob With his dick in the air. Then angels spoke Who'd witnessed it all, Repeating words of The Maker of all, "For this is God's "Judgment on you: "I let you "Decide what's true."