The Forgotten World

I know why I get so many dirty looks and the homeless have so much wrath pointed in their direction. It's because we ain't you. We don't care if your stupid society lives or dies. All the rules and bullshit you come up with, betting your soul and building your life on it, you can just imagine what outsiders might think of you. Which doesn't really bother you until you actually see one in your midst. Then it all becomes real.

God doesn't care if your stupid society lives or not, either. Our Maker only cares if our souls survive. Hard to think about having bet wrong, isn't it? It's an unbearable thought for some. Of course, to not face it leaves an equally unbearable fate. So we are spies among you, forced to the outskirts of the world, observing you with no vested interest in what you created. At any moment, one of us may give voice to that little voice inside you you so desperately bury at all costs.

It's a unique persepective on the outskirts. You get a worm's eye view on the world where you can see how people act when their actions are unchecked. You never truly know a person until you are under their thumb. See how all the "good" people act then. I admit there have been times when I have come across true kindness. Perhaps more kindness than I myself could give were the situation reversed. Those are moments and feelings you never forget. To be succored, not sucked dry. It's a glimpse of a paradise that could be, and it inspires you to do better.

In "King Rat", James Clavell wrote: "For the men, Changi was more than a prison. Changi was genesis, the place of beginning again." I'll never forget reading those words. Changi was an infamous Japanese POW camp in WWII. 150,000 prisoners went in; 10,000 came out. Clavell spoke of being thrust into a twilight world between life and death. A place not imagined unless forced to experience it. The men adapted and morphed into animals. When the war ended and a freshly scrubbed allied soldier arrived to liberate the camp, the prisoners scattered in shame. I cried when I read that book - the most powerful book I have ever read. I'm crying as I recount this now.

Thank you, world. Thank you for my Changi. And God help you if you think you won't be the fucked for it.