"I'm sick of you people! I'm sick of this world! I'm sick of me! I'm sick of everything! It's not going to end - not now or ever! You people got no clue what's in store for you. You're gonna lie to yourselves till the end. Well, have at it! I'm outta here! Are you happy now?"
Reporters rushed to the rooftop, quivering microphones in hand. "Harry! Harry! Please help us keep our jobs and say something witty!"
"What??"
"No, wittier!"
"You want witty at a time like this? I'd rather take you with me. You can do a report on the way down..."
"Harry, this is Zerry with K-Whore Radio and I'd love to go down with you."
"Dude, I'm not up for that. Really."
"No, really! It's the only way I can earn my jelly band bracelet!"
"But you'll die! That's the whole point of this - or have you yet to process that information?"
"I won't die - just you! I live in a bubble and bubbles are safe. I'll just bounce along happy as ever."
A notorious Attention Whore blogged the microphone next, furious with me. "It's all about you, isn't it? You, you you! Do anything to hog the spotlight, won't you! What about me!"
A known Selfish Bastard barked next. "Someone has to clean up your mess when you hit that concrete! Ever think of anyone other than yourself? Do you have any idea how inconvenient your pain is for other people?"
Then Psycho Man made it all worthwhile. "Get back to work! Your life is shit because you are shit! The world is shit! It's supposed to be shit! Be happy doing shit or I'm going to beat the shit out of you until the day you die! If all you wanna do is live you might as well off yourself, you freaking psycho!"
I can't stay here any longer, understand it or not. "When your dreams die, the body serves no purpose. It's not like any of you have a future anyway if you're living a lie. Line forms to the left for all those with no real dreams." To my amazement, a mad scramble to follow in behind me ensued but I had no time for that as I leapt.
My first thought: God, this feels good! "Hey all you cocksucking motherfuckers! Kiss my goddam ass! Stuff your world and your fucking rules and fucking bullshit right up your ass! You can't touch me now, assholes! I'm free! I'm going to sit on a cloud and watch you bastards starve and shoot each other to death and listen how 'smart' and 'clever' and 'pragmatic' you say you are! Fucking morons!
"Tables are turned now, you fucking fucks! No one lives unless I say so. I make all the rules and dictate from on high! You like having me in charge? You like having me run your life? Well, guess what you worthless worms, I don't like your goddam asses running mine either! Drop dead, you got no say now! God left it up to me whether you live or die! How you like them apples??"
My second thought: what the fuck is that pulling on my shirt? "Zerry! Let go of me!"
"You don't understand! I need the listeners! It's interesting when people die! Can you say something funny now?"
"You people are unbelievable! I have to die and entertain you at the same time?"
"If you're going to die anyway, why not be funny doing it? Please, any thoughts on your future?"
Madness. A world gone mad and there's no escaping it. And since I got no money and got no honey there's no point to anything I do. No escaping that either. I might as well make my ignomony complete.
"OK Zerry, as far as my future goes, considering what's ahead of me I'd have to say it looks just smashing!"
"Oh excellent! You're really educating my audience in an entertaining way! What kind of plans do you have afterwards?"
I'm really tired of always having to figure out when people are being sarcastic - or insane.
"You really think people can die and have plans afterwards?"
"That's what I'm here to find out! Life is so awesome with no sense of reality!"
I know what you're thinking: I'm making myself out to be a victim of the insane - which is what everyone is.
"I'm running out of time here, Zerry, and I don't much feel like talking under these circumstances."
"Then can you give me your final words?"
Leave it the meddling media to make your final seconds seem like an eternity. But what the hell, may as well go out on a high note.
"I'd just like to say to one person in particular, I'm -
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