Actual dwelling of the evildoers!
Deep in the bland, touristy heart of Dallas suburb Arlington, Texas lies a place of hideous beings bent on ruining life as we know it. But the good people of Arlington won't stand for these loathsome creatures freely roaming our streets. Time to call out the SWAT team and raid their damn ass!
Just who are these unmentionable beasts of darkness? What evil lurks in the hearts of men? Who is it who dare infest the God-fearing banality of Arlington? Why, it's "sustainable lifestylists" of course! Rebel scum! Better call in Seal Team Six.
ARLINGTON — Arlington’s SWAT team recently raided a “sustainable lifestyle” area in southwest Arlington known as Garden of Eden, looking for drugs on land where residents say their goal is to use as few modern amenities as possible in their daily lives.
But instead of finding weed, the authorities during their Aug. 2 raid mostly just found weeds on the property...
Well, at least I hope those SWAT boys made themselves useful and pulled a few of those weeds while they were there. Then again, better not let your guard down against the granola crowd, they might start hurtling bottles of wheat germ at you. Still, so very strange the experts could be wrong about this being a giant pot farm:
...about three days before the raid, police, aided by a Texas Department of Public Safety officer, conducted a manned aircraft flight more than 400 feet over the property, according to a search warrant affidavit.
The DPS official identified what he believed to be a 30-foot-by-30-foot area of what appeared to be marijuana plants growing between a pool and the main residential structure on the property, according to the affidavit.
To be fair, perhaps someone misunderstood the officer when he said he saw a huge chunk of grass - literally. Was he talking sensimilla or Bermuda? Who cares? Call out the SWAT team! Evil plants are growing! (Takes a special kind of person to make nature illegal).
Coincidentally, "during the raid, the city’s code compliance office executed a warrant of its own". Ah, now we're getting to the heart of the problem.
Residents at the Garden of Eden believe in a sustainable lifestyle that includes using as little electricity as possible, growing their own food and using composting toilets to fertilize the land. But members also use some modern conveniences, including laptop computers and phones.
In February, Arlington’s code enforcement staff issued a nuisance abatement order to the owner of the property, Shellie Smith, after area residents complained about what they described as unsanitary conditions on the land.
“We have been interacting with them [city officials] for months. We have been doing this all very lawfully,” said Eaker, 30, who has lived at the Garden of Eden for several years. “We have been challenging their authority for eight months.
Mess with your neighbors' property values and you gonna get SWAT called on ya! “The residents are concerned that the conditions interfere with the useful enjoyment of their properties and are detrimental to property values and community appearance.” I dunno. Some people say the police are nothing but lapdogs for the well off - and that a dog is no better than its master. And some also say the true master of our society is money, not "sustainable" justice.
Well, heck, couldn't prove any of that by me. The world is a beautiful place. I hit a golf ball with a club yesterday, the President must be doing something right. I'm just glad to see raiding granola farms with SWAT teams is "standard procedure" and that these are the same people we turn over every detail of our lives to to keep us safe. People complaining about abuse of power must want the bad guys to win!
"I just do what I'm told."
"Yeah, well, so does an imbecile!"
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