That One Lone Voice

"Thank tha Lord! Thank God Almighty! Yes!"

That my first reaction we I first hears that one lone voice speakin' out. Was like a thunderbolt of light! White folks don' know what it like when you the only one and it feel like ever' last one of  'em pushin' your head under water. Ain't no place to turn! Every eye got its door shut tight, you last of the Mohicans. Who gonna understand that if you ain't a Mohican??

The things that go thru yer mind when the end is near. I knows they was all yellin' at me and I was more scared than anyone alive and it was like I didn't even know their language but I did'n take it personal none. That can't mean me! I'm thinkin'. What more personal than a hanging? But it was like they didn't even see me. They jess wanted to do them a hangin' and I was easiest one to pick.

I was talkin' 90 miles an hour and they's telling me to shut up but they wasn't listenin' anyways. I knows none of my words counted and no way I can think up the right ones to say to make them stop. Is there any?? I sherly does not know!

But that white boy be comin' up on 'em with that look on his face like he's seeing the Second Comin' - only in reverse. Him seein' but him not believin' it. Me not believin' either if ya wanna know! Then he says louder then all of 'em clear as a church bell: "Hey, what are you doing? Stop this! You people crazy?"

Lynches weren't protested same reason drones aren't now.

Up til then I was drowning, my whole world goin' darker and darker thinkin' I's never see light again in this deep sorry world. Too many folks takin' comfort in lies and I gotta die for it. An' that was how I was gonna go out, all alone. But when that boy spoke up my spirit go soarin' like a eagle. I wasn't the only one anymores. I starts breathin' again when all them angry eyes turn toward that boy.

And boy did he get what for jess for speakin' his honest mind! They talkin' to him like him a black man. Shut up, boy. Don't know what you talkin' about. None your business, they all sez. Here I is 'bout to die but here I is feelin' sorry for that boy. Guess I been on the gettin' end too much of that kinda cussin' in my life. Started with my papa an' endin' with these white lynchers.

That boy couldn't of stopped them what with their blood lust all riled up. After him speakin' up it was like they'd be ashamed NOT to hang me! Talk about havin' stuff backwards! Truth be told, I kept thinkin' up to the very last minute they was gonna see reason like the Good Book sez and change their minds cuz they's recking their futures but good! Why not they see that??

I got natural tendencies of deferrin' to white folks. I been workin' on fixin' that but it like movin' a mountain without no help. But I quit fightin' so much after that boy speaks up. I had it in me if I keeps fightin' that boy gonna get in trouble and they gonna hang him too! I was a-thinkin' they jess liables to kill anybody! I sher did'n want that on my conscience. I couldn't help but thinkin' iffen I puts up a fuss that boy gonna get the blame.

It's not about speaking up only when it's convenient -
just the opposite

So how the world work I jess don't know. I died peaceable after that, jess hearin' that one lone voice sayin' I was worth somethin' more than dirt did it. That something you remembers forever an' ever an' ever again. I did'n want to die that day! I had plans on livin'. That Demesha girl was drivin' me crazy with that ass o' hers and that exactly what I was thinkin' about when them mad pickups pull up and grabs me off the street tellin' me I done every sin since Adam.

Maybe I wasn't havin' the most purest thoughts about Demesha. Was they killin' me for that? I kept expectin' them to ask 'bout her cuz I knows my face hadda look guilty. They has to be doin' this for some sort of reason, I's a-thinkin'. I did'n mean Demesha no harm. I jess never thought none of them woulda ever believes that right then 'n' there. I was tha devil hisself!

I was so glad I's didn't die alone like I thought was gonna. I doan know how to tell ya this, but that tha worst feelin' you ever imagines. Ain't no worse way o' dyin' in the whole wide world! Everythin' inside jess sinkin' lower and lower feelin' like it gonna kill ya afore you ever gets killed! You's thinkin' anything but this, jess doan give me this!

When my spirit start a-goin' up them big men start lookin' mighty small to me. All the life sucked right out of 'em. Dreams is dead and them like corn stalks growin' in the desert. Jess ain't got no hope and them too proud to move on. Things sher look mighty different when theys can't hurt ya no more. Who ever gonna pray for folks like them? My momma got pain comin' that gonna hurt her worse than any white man ever know. Why the world such a sad, mad place?

Even Peter said, "I don't know that Jesus dude!"

But then I sees inside those men somethin' I never did expects! They had a thing in them more than anything else like to fill 'em up like a butcher's dog - and that thing was fear. Them hearts was surrounded by darkness just like I was surrounded by them white men. And them hearts not bein' able to see nothin' or hear nothin' or feel nothin' was plum scared outta their wits over what they a-feared was in tha dark. That what happen when ya got no light in ya to see by.

Since I was the only one gettin' lynched I figgered I was the only one so full o' fear. Thought cross me mind: did they kill me cuz they afraid o' me or they do it cuz they afraid of their own dark insides? Almost make me feel sorry for 'em. How the world gonna have a future livin' like that?

But then I remembers that one lone voice and I got concern for him. He was walking along with his brother an' his brother was one angry soul.

"What you thinkin' speaking out like that? Your brain wired wrong or somethin'? I've got an idiot for a brother."

"That was murder that just happened!"

"Ain't nobody care what you call it! Didn't your ignorant ass see the Mayor standin' there and the sheriff too makin' it all legal? You wanna go up agin them? Who are you to be talkin' law?"

"I jus' had to say something. Wasn't thinkin - "

"That's right, moron, you wasn't thinkin'! You think anythin' you say gonna make a difference? You think anythin' comin outta your mouth was gonna stop it? Just keep your trap shut!"

"I wasn't thinking I was gonna stop it or not stop it. I was jus' sayin'."

"You wanna be the next one killed then you just keep speakin' that fool mind of yers and see where that gets ya! Shuts your damn mouth before you get us even deeper in trouble. I already got people asking questions about you."

"Questions like what? Ain't I allowed to speak?"

"Not when there's no point in it! People thinkin' you gonna blabbermouth this to everyone you see, stirrin' up trouble. I gotta tell 'em it's just my dumb stupid brother who don't know no better who go around talkin' like a child."

"I guess I don't understand."

"Don't understand what?"

"I don't understand why folks would be upset about me sayin' anything if they'd done nothin' wrong."

"That's why you a moron! The world's a good place and you better keep the faith and not be disturbin' the order of it. You stop lynchin' and all hell gonna break loose. Sometimes I just hate you!"

Conversion on the road to Damascus

Wow, I guess it not even safe for a white man in a white man's world iffen his mind step outta line. His brother sher was wrong, tho! I was dang glad he spoke up. Him did make a difference. But his brother was scared plenty. Scared of them other men, scared of thinkin' his brother was right and scared of lettin' go that hate in him. That the thing about hateful folks, they gotta have everyone else feelin' same hate or they go outta their minds! When that brother start talkin' again, he was lookin' in a mirror.

"It's simple really . The black man just ain't no good. We could kill a hundred of 'em and it wouldn't make no difference. They don't count like white folk do. Heck, even some of them will tell ya that jus' in case ya think I prejudicial. We cleanin' up the town, making things safe for decent folk. That's God's work we was doin' back there. We got us a whole kill list even. You just wanna let them niggers go off and do anything they please!?"

"Ya'll sure was doin' what you pleased alright! But if I'm so dumb then jus' don't worry about what I say or think."

"I gotta worry. They know what I know."

"What that be?"

"That every voice count. Only take one to start yappin' stirrin' up trouble. And we don't want you spreadin' no lies around like this was murder!"

"I won't be spreadin' no lies," smiles that boy. His brother not realizin' that means him gonna be sayin' the truth!

Later I see the brother kneeling in church like he the most respectful person ever entered. He hopin' him talkin' to God but really it just hisself. He want forgivin' for what he done only he sayin' he can't speak the truth ever again cuz of what he done and him wonderin' if he can get into heaven anyways.

The nerve of that boy! I wouldn't be mad at ya no more if ya jus' admits what ya done. That all I askin' for. That all I ever be askin' for. Doan matter what ya done. Jess leave the hate behind. Admits the truth and then come give this nigger a hug! Only way you gonna die a man.