The title of this post is a quote taken from "The Big Picture". The protagonist has graduated from film school, signed a deal and bought a Porsche. But the deal falls through, he becomes a leper in the business and soon is out looking for any source of income. It's the restaurant manager looking over his resume who utters this ignominious remark. Dante's Inferno come to life.
The cruelty of a life not lived. I've done a lot of crap jobs over the years and I'm invariably at the bottom of the pecking order because it's never an endeavor that interests me. Sometimes I get caught up in the moment and find myself arguing the best way to get things done and getting all worked up thinking it's life and death. Then later I reflect how petty and meaningless the incident was and just how far off track my life has gone.
It's a funny thing not knowing who you are. You're always watching and looking to perhaps see yourself in others. It drives me crazy! "Is that me? Is that me?" "Could I write like that?" "Can I run a business?" "Can I do what that guy is doing?" Always wondering. The byproduct of a shattered identity. I spot easily my fellow shattered souls. Some are even considered successes in their field but I see the trapped look in their eyes. To no one must they speak of their true dreams.
Yet our Maker knows the truth of us.
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