Osaka Castle

I heard a story once about David Marshall Williams, inventor of the carbine rifle. He was imprisoned (rightly or wrongly) for moonshining and the death of a federal officer. Supposedly at one point he was punished in one of those infamous sweat boxes, like the one used in Cool Hand Luke. These boxes are at best draining and at worst, lethal. But the story goes that "Carbine" Williams came out unscathed. Why? Because the whole time in there his mind was preoccupied on inventing his new, revolutionary rifle.

I do not expect to leave my prison alive. Too many mistakes, too wounding to overcome, have left me with all the hope of a lottery ticket. But I remember the story of Carbine Williams and how to endure. In the Poseiden Adventure the passengers had to make their way to the hull of the boat. How they would get out after that, who knew. It was a journey of blind faith - as is my endurance.

So to keep my mind from going insane (or at least to slow it) I have Osaka castle. There is a piece of land in Arlington that I have seen. About 900 acres or so, it's across the street from the city dump and is bordered on the north by ugly industrial facilities. It's low lying land with permanent ponds of standing water. Just miserable. But I have a vision. The Japans!


Osaka castle was Toyotomi Hideyoshi's grand fortress. As the most powerful man in Japan, he wanted an impregnable haven in what was the most violent time of Japanese history. Able to garrison tens of thousands of troops, surrounded by moats and a maze of walls, Hideyoshi succeeded. Were it not for the imported cannons, it would have never been defeated. And it is this castle I propose to build here in the heart of the DFW metroplex.


The water is not a problem because it will be used to feed the moat and run through the Japanese gardens. The castle itself will be isolated and all things in its compound will be exactly as in 16th century Japan. Its authenticity is what feeds all the other sections of The Japans complex. In full armor, samurai will parade daily through the castle grounds. It will be a step back in time, as if looking through a window 500 years ago.


To the east will be gardens complete with re-creations of famous temples and even ruins. To the north will be the hotel featuring traditional Japanese service (a maid for every room!). Beside it will be the retail district. Near the street will be an open area with a permanent stage for performances and festivals. This will be free of an entry charge. A Samurai Cinema to show Japanese films will also have free entry.

The spot does have problems. A high, ancient style stone wall will surround the entire complex to isolate it from traffic. The ugly industrial sites to the north will be hidden by very well disguised parking garages (you would have to be told they were garages). But the flip side is that the ancient castles were the center of town life and this too would be dead center of all activity.

Each Monday morning the complex would be closed, ostensibly for maintenance but in reality so I could walk the grounds undisturbed and imagine myself back in a different time and space. I've thought of the armor I would display in the hotel lobby, the books to sell, the films to show, even the Samurai Bike I would commission from the American Chopper guys. Hey, bud, can you spare $200,000,000?