Wednesday, December 06, 2017

#Metoo? How about #Youtoo!


I had no idea it was so easy to bang starlets, walk around with your dick out, or even wantonly hit on high school cheerleaders. Shit! I've been missing out all these years! Not one to be left out, your man Harry is up to the task. Feel my power!

"Harry, only thing powerful 'bout you is your B.O.!"

OK, so Gretchen isn't impressed. But have you seen these other guys?? They must be using some sort of Jedi mind tricks I don't understand to get these women to do what they do. "Yeah, that's right, honey, you need to read that part NAKED!" I just ask to go out to a movie and get told to go fuck myself. Can somebody please tell me where all the unempowered women are?? I can't find them for shit. Hollywood babes, Olympic gymnasts, hot coworkers - these other guys are having their way! Hey girls, when is it my turn??

Read where that morning host guy making 28 mil a year is feeling bad ("broken") sitting in his home in the Hamptons. Hey, pal, I'll trade places with you anytime! You can be the midnight janitor the office girls laugh at and I can be the disgraced multi-millionaire raunching my way around. I guarantee you HR is all over my ass if anyone complains about me. Everyone knows that if you're guilty of having a dick then you must be guilty! Case closed!

So what's the secret, ladies? How can I put you under the spell of my power? Most of these guys didn't win the lottery on charm and looks. I made me a producer card. Is that good enough for ya? Or maybe I need me a D.A. card! "Hey, lady, give me your teenage daughter in the name of the law!" Someone really got that to work?? Jesus, I must be doing something wrong. At this rate I'll never able to cause a #metoo moment.

"Come hither and feel my respectful power!"

So how can I break into that world where women don't use the power of sex against you? "City girls just seem to find out early how to open doors with just a smile." So I guess the whole "bad boy" era is over now and women are finally choosing the "nice guy" that has traditionally lost out since the beginning of time. Woohoo! Bitches be demanding respect! From now on all us guys will be prim and proper and watch the girls go wild! War between the sexes is finally over.



Don't watch or you'll be scarred for life!

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