It happened by accident - as is usually the case with revelation.
I got caught in a plate glass window downtown.
I was looking at a store Christmas display. A living family came up beside me. Then I saw my true reflection in the mirroring glass.
The comparison was stark.
So that's what I look like.
Shattered. Nowhere Man. Mr. Oblivion.
Lost.
Everybody wants to fool the world...
Nightmares have been increasing, growing stronger. I'm missing too many important people. I feel hunted by guilt. I lost my plausible self-deniability in that glass.
I felt the urge to strike, to destroy the reflection, to vilify the press. HOMELESS VANDAL DESTROYS NEIMAN'S DISPLAY. But would that make me any prettier - or just more obvious?
He was writing it after he wrote it, said an observing voice.
No one knows I died when Emily left. It's a state secret written right on my face. People know. This charade has been a waste of time. The sun left with her, my stepping stone to life. I've been writing only from memory of a face that no longer exists. Happy Revelation Day.
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