14 Million Ways To Die

Maybe it was the smell of Emily's vomit that had everyone all up in knots. Funny how you clean that shit up but the smell don't leave. It was like casting a spell on us in that white-tiled yellow-walled anti-septic shelter TV psycho ward room, we all just sittin' there thinkin' the shit's never gonna get any better and we be livin' on the streets till they eat us up and leave us to rot and die. And for fucking what?

That's what I want to know, motherfuckers! For fucking what? Tell me what I did I gotta die for. Nobody wants to answer me. They got no answer worth tellin'.

An' I got this tooth that's killin' me I got no way to fix.

I guess we was all feelin' the same thing when this cracker family commercial comes on showing snowflake brats on this disney cruise with mommy and daddy smilin' like God's own. Jason looks over at me like he's readin' my mind.

"We ain't the lambs we pretend to be."

That set off a shit storm of everyone bitchin' and wantin' to know how they got the nerve to be puttin' brainwashing propaganda on our TV set. I walked out of the room and into the cold city night cuz I wanted to go to a place where nobody knows me.

That's when I got to thinking of the injustice of it all. Where be the justice? If it's here I sure as hell ain't seein' it. Maybe it's been a damn lie all along, there really ain't nothin' to fight for. Just one big illusion and good guys getting bad guys don't mean nothin' when they both the same and the bad guys runnin' the show up top anyways. God don't want no fucking justice then I don't want no goddam justice neither!

I'm dying here and I ask you again: for fucking what do I die you cocksuckin' motherfuckers!

Wish I could put this goddam tooth in you!

Speaking of vomit...

That's why you like sucking that dick isn't it bitch, so you can fill yourself up with lies. You pretendin', him pretendin' same time as we goin' down the drain never comin' back. Been hearin' it all me life: aint nothin' in this world worth livin' for but the jack and the crack. I thought there was something else. Now I can't figure out what it was...

It's not far and I'm passing by where the big shots live with walls of rocky hate between me and them. I'm wondering why they got what they got. They steal it legal with the white man's con? They got a million of 'em. Talk to this head shrinker once for 15 minutes and he wanted three C's for that! He had himself convinced he was worth that but that just mean him's the one what need his head fixed! They got scams wherever you go. The farther you climb out of the hole the more they want from ya and they got the guns and gall to back it up.

I'm never gonna go straight. Rodriguez came crawling back after they towed his van away. He was just getting by but he had no insurance card on him so they took his van, his tools, his whole fucking life. Know what the cops told him cuz he was working 60 hours a week? They tell him he got no responsibility! Work, don't work - don't matter. You end up in the same place anyhow.

And for fucking what? What does hard work get anybody you shit sniffin' fuckers? God damn you all to hell.

I can't live with this achin' tooth!

Your benefit package is death

Just kidding myself, ain't I? I'm holding on for what? Maybe it is all about the way of the gun. Bullets go in cops same as anybody else. What does that prove? Means we's all the same, just a matter of who fires the last shot. Right don't make might. Am I a sucker or not?

That's when I get my Glock and become a man of the world. You told me we get what we deserve. I deserve better so I'm gonna go get better.

I started where the pickins is easy at the Hotel Zaza Ritz fancy fuck. I seen them pull up in them cars costing more I ever made in my whole life. I'm thinking they don't need 'em much as I do. I slide my way in, waitin' for the chance and I see this R8 pull in I just got to have! I come screaming out the bushes scaring off the valet and the squealin' bitch drivin' it. I go screeching out of there and I got to tell you it was the best feeling of my life!

That's when I KNEW I deserved better, feeling that engine rushing under me going down the road. Ain't nothing like I ever felt before! I figured lojack would be tracking me so I headed outta range to the country. Was 200 miles before I stopped and I was a changed man. How do I go back to thinking I deserve nothin' again? How do I tell myself pushin' that broom down the office lobby is the way to go?

The lie is dead - just like justice. They told me I was holding the "social fabric" together carrying them soul scorchin' crap jobs on me back but really it was me bein' the puppet to make the bad guys' lives good. Fuck that shit. I got just as much right drivin' this car as their sorry asses ever did. Maybe more since I been workin' all my life, takin' all the shit. What they ever do to deserve anything more than me?

I'm out on Highway 80, gassing up at this Valero station in some tiny twat town I don't even know the name of. I'm thinking to myself: "There's 14 million ways to die and no way to live." Which way do I go? Can't go back to bein' a slave. Can't go forever in a car cops want back for their real bosses. Man, them cops is just prison bulls on the outside.

I park off to the side, smelling leather that fill you up like a dream. The dash is all lit up like nothin' I ever saw, like a giant Swiss watch, and I can tell them people who made this was wanting to make it the best it could be. At the shelter, we just get the blankets nobody else wants and the cheapest of everything. Damn, do I like this world better. No wonder they do what they do to keep their lives like this, free from all the pain and vomit smells. Seein' them blow people up aroun' the world makes a whole lot more sense now. They' playin' for keeps.

That's what they's fighting for.

But who's gonna free me from this killing tooth?

What have I got to fight for? I can't stay in this R8 world I'm sitting in. There just be me. I gotta fight for me. Yeah...that'll piss 'em off. Just don't be like them. That will kill them in the end cuz they won't be able to stand it. It'll eat 'em all up and devour 'em - just like they left for to happen to me. Maybe that's their way of showing their soul. Maybe there's the justice.

I'm angry. I'm killin' angry. But I'm keeping my soul for now. But can't say it always gonna be like that...