Thursday, July 31, 2008

My "Lunatic Fringe" Video

BACKGROUND: STEVE - kicking and screaming on his way to salvation - and MORTY - the stone the builders rejected - have joined forces to embark on a mission to find out if life has more to offer than the hopeless hell deemed by Man. STEVE had been sentenced to the Factory Grind, mind numbing monotony enforced by the blackmail of facing life in the Alley. MORTY, having refused the judgment of men, was crippled with rage of having been trapped in the Alley for committing no crime. Together they find the courage to risk life and limb in hopes of escape.

Having come across many false hopes in the Land of Sir Real, they are reaching the edge of the Land with no place yet having a future.

The BACKDROP: An older ranch style house on the edge of a small city. It's warm, cozy and well lived in. A fireplace is going, as much for a utilitarian aspect as for aesthetics. Cut to a middle aged MOTHER - no better and no worse than anyone else, average in all aspects - hand washing and drying the dishes. She is neither annoyed nor enjoying this chore. It is simply something one does.

Scene 1: But her underlying irritation with her life is revealed when she hears a breakable break in the other room. We pass out of the kitchen and into the room with the fireplace to see a guilty little BOY standing in front of the shard pieces.

Scene 2: The MOTHER is scooting the boy out the door. The BOY has been dressed in winter clothes and is clearly not happy with what's transpiring.

Out you go! You're not breaking anything more of mine! Stay out there until you can learn to calm down!

But Moooom!

Out! You brought this on yourself! Your own decisions got you where you are.

Scene 3: As the boy scoots out into a tree filled yard that is merely a prelude to a full forest further on, we see the MOTHER framed in the doorway who suddenly realizes on some level the words she just spoke to her BOY were really words she has been silently chastising herself with for quite a while. She shuts the door on this thought.

The BACKDROP: Winter's fading light in a yard at the edge of all civilization. We feel the coldness and the looming inevitability of the coming darkness. There's nowhere to go.

Scene 4: The BOY tramps through some leftover snow around the house to the kitchen window. He's separated from his MOTHER and the warmth of a home. He spies her through the window as she has returned to what is now open drudgery. The BOY approaches the window.

Scene 5: Looking down from the roof, we see and hear the BOY matter-of-factly pleading his case.

But Mommy, [He finally gets to finish his sentence from when he was pushed out] it's cold out here.

Scene 6: The camera swivels and peers back towards the city, skimming over the rooftops to see the glow of distant hubbub in the dying light. But we are not going there as no little boy alone can either. The camera swivels once more towards the dark and ominous trees of the forest and makes a beeline going up and over the treetops. The camera races over the landscape, trying to catch a sun that has set. All signs of civilization disappear - the lights, the telephone poles, everything. We hear the opening eerie whistle of Lunatic Fringe, foretelling the destination of our journey.

With each guitar burst, we flash forward to a different face of the SEVEN MEN of the axe. Their grimacing faces reflect the clear light of a dying sunset, alluding to the fact the earth has not rotated to darkness on their landscape. The landscape is brutal, uneven and barren. It's the Sadlands. Each man carries a large, burdensome axe in a fashion reflecting each one's personality. A red glow of hate emanates from the heads, clearly hating the circumstance of the burdens they carry and the barrenness of their existence. Somebody's got to pay!

Here is what we see them chant:

"Seven Men of the Axe are we,
We chop all who disagree,
It is you we will deceive,
We will make you to believe,
And if we don't see eye to eye,
We will chop and watch you die."

The Seven Men:

PRIEST OF DOOM: Arms crossed over his axe, pressed flat against his breast. To him the axe is holy and kills in righteous fury.

CARE-NOT LUMBERJACK: Drags axe head along the ground. A man who chops for chop's sake.

MASOCHISTIC WARRIOR: Fanatic who holds his axe with his teeth, Rwanda madman

RUTHLESS BUSINESSMAN: Smiles up front, axe in back.

BLIND SOLDIER: Sees not and knows not who he kills. It's the orders that count. Carries his like a rifle.

WILLFUL SLAVE: Axe carried across his shoulders. He's bitter at having not chosen freedom. Make him Arab.

BOLD EXECUTIONER: Perhaps the scariest of all. Society's sanctioned murderer holds his axe held high ready to chop at a moment's notice

As the guitars start in full force, the camera catches up to them and we know all signs of civilization are long gone. It passes over them and circles them and zooms in on them. They are chanting something in unison but it's not a happy song. We cannot hear it but we fear it because it's plain to see they are in their own little world and care nothing for the rest of it. Each one tells his story of terrorism as we focus in.

[Order to be determined]

PRIEST OF DOOM: Burning people at the stake. Gothic church symbols. Jesus on the cross, implying these are his crucifiers, not his followers.

BLIND SOLDIER: Nazi raids. When we hear the words "final solution" we see a stark black and white picture of Dachau against a dying sky.

RUTHLESS BUSSINESSMAN: Evicting families, followed by homeless families. Factory Grind shots.

RAGGED SLAVE: Walks right by needy, never helping, always playing the martyr.

CARE-NOT LUMBERJACK: Environmental disaster. As he rapes himself he rapes the world around him.

Eventually, STEVE and MORTY see the approaching marauders. As it dawns on MORTY what they are doing, he at first grins and then outright laughs. Nothing amuses MORTY more than those who so clearly do not do what they want to do. STEVE, of course, is terrified as feels his own guilt and instinctively knows they'll blame him for their unhappiness - something he has done many times with Debby. One by one the SEVEN MEN form a circle around Steve, drilling into him with accusatory eyes.

Lunatic fringe
I know you're out there
You're in hiding
And you hold your meetings
We can hear you coming
We know what you're after
We're wise to you this time
We won't let you kill the laughter.

Lunatic fringe
In the twilight's last gleaming
This is open season
But you won't get too far
We know you've got to blame someone
For your own confusion
But we're on guard this time
Against your final solution

We can hear you coming
(We can hear you coming)
No you're not going to win this time
We can hear the footsteps
(We can hear the footsteps)
Way out along the walkway
Lunatic fringe
We know you're out there
But in these new dark ages
There will still be light

An eye for an eye;
Well before you go under...
Can you feel the resistance?
Can you feel the thunder?

The BACKDROP: The sun has set and risen once more. STEVE, frayed and broken, has spent the night in living horror. Somewhere, MORTY is eating popcorn and watching in amusement.

"Alright!" he screams, "Just go ahead and do it! Chop away, I don't care!"
The circle tightens. "But before I go, I'm going to say one thing: You whackos-" STEVE rears back with all the spite he could summon, "You people look like the biggest bunch of freaks I've ever seen! What's wrong with you? Not a one of you carries his axe like a normal person!"

The protests are immediate.

"How else can I carry it?" whines the slave.

"I carry it the only proper way," defends the soldier.

"Mine is carried God's way," the priest proselytizes.

"Only a fool carries it out front," secretly speaks the businessman.

"What difference does it make?" the lumberjack wants to know.

"I carry it like a true warrior," says the warrior, cutting his mouth.

"Mine is the best way to chop!" proclaims the executioner, who had never been questioned before.

[A livid and vigorous argument ensues among the Axe Men. It is the politics of insanity - no one is right. Steve crawls out through their legs. He gets up and meticulously brushes off his worn garments.]

[MORTY's happiness openly gushes as he approaches.]

"That's the problem with terrorists," he cracks. "They always worry too much what other people think!"

Monday, July 28, 2008

Ikiru (To live)

"How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?"
-John Lennon

Ask any homeless person what they want most in an immediate sense and the answer might surprise you. It's not love or money or even hope - those are unthinkable luxuries meant only for others. No, the answer is 'rest'. There is no rest from your fellow man. The draining weariness that ages street people so quickly gives no quarter. I spend all my time now searching for rest.

The 'rest' issue is racking my health and I have to consider any option available. I could try doing a straight job again. I have a chance for a janitorial job which would allow me to then stay in a cheap hotel. I could hide in my little room and peer out into the world through my invisible bars. My own Trump Tower. But would that bring rest?

Problem is, I want to live too badly. I can't force myself into godawful jobs any more. In my novel I spoke of those wounded by the Factory Grind. Some physically, some mentally. The mentally dead will say any job is a good job because they have lost the capacity for boredom - and therefore lost the capacity to contribute. The mentally twisted will say a job must be taken no matter how much one suffers - these are people to whom their children will never give true love. So I know what the insane have to say.

It's a constant line I walk between the logistics of living and the desires of life. The ebb and flow between the two are continually at odds within me. I never find the answer. Sometimes I think my life is lived only in theory, a giant lab experiment. It's so confusing to figure out which way to go. I must decide soon on this job or it too will be gone with the wind. I just can't decide right now. Right now, I need to rest.

Friday, July 25, 2008

A Snake Charming

A Modern Man
Since ancient times,
Sowing slumber
Through Ancient Rhymes.

He built an Image
For all to see,
He built an Image
Of you and me!

Chastising all his lovers -
We love a lovely fake;
Matters not who you are
If you're a Charming Snake!

The Varnished Truth
Is much more pleasant,
Better falsely Kingly
Than Purity's peasant.

Binding fact
With Fancy Fiction,
Pay high heed
To his perfect diction!

He spells of Saints
Who never sin,
And lusty virgins
Who die with a grin.

This confusing world
So full of fright!
His soothing yarns
Twist Black to White.

"Days of Love
"Are never coming!
"Time to start
"Your feet a-running!"

"Believe me when I tell you:
"Each man is your brother,
"Believe me when I fell you:
"The fault lies with the other."

"Upon my face
"Blow Winds of Change,
"Deep inside
"I'm feeling strange."

Listeners to the Snake
Shudder in silent woes;
Faithful to the end,
Fear's cold heart never knows.

Werewolves and vampires
Forsaking times of healing;
Killers gaping aghast -
Now Awakened with feeling.

Please oh please, thy Charming Snake!
The rainbow's end you vainly strive;
Please oh please, take us away,
Keep us from seeking our very life!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

God loves us!

Oftentimes when I see the ills of the world addressed I see a statement like this:

"Remember, God loves us and is watching over us."

Whenever I see that phrase or one like it, I just want to vomit. What a vile and evil thing to say. What a despicable dismissal of mankind's woes. Only one reason exists for relaying such a remark: a complete and utter abrogation of one's personal responsibility.

Dude, I'm a master of worming out of personal responsibility. It's my hobby so I know it when I see it. But don't break the third commandment to boot.

First, let's break down this thought process. God's love has no meaning unless we let it into the world. Sure don't see a lot of that happening! So the question is not whether God loves us but the reverse. But by stating "God loves us" we imply it has relevance because the love is mutual. If only propaganda saved the soul.

Also, by stating we are being watched by God it implies God's intervening to make things good. Did God, for example, rush to save the Katrina survivors? Or was the reality mothers' babies died in their arms? Maybe they weren't praying hard enough or weren't good Christians or whatever garbage you want to make up. See, motherfuckers, it's up to us to make things right. But it's a lot easier to see a guy in a ditch and say, "It's OK, God is watching us!" than to actually help.

So whenever I see someone come up to me and say Jesus or God loves me I know they are saying that because they have no intention of doing it themselves.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Imaginary Me

A funny thing happened in the awesome J. Erik Jonsson library today. I was sitting by the window, staring out through the curtains into the afternoon heat and I started picturing myself sitting out there on the front steps, calm and collected, watching the people go by. Right in the middle of downtown Dallas Imaginary Me sat, fearlessly taking out a cigarette (I don't smoke in real life), lighting it up and coolly gazing at my surroundings. Imaginary Me had no rules and since in reality I was inside, the scorching sun bothered me not. I just wanted to sit and stare out that window forever, picturing myself un-crippled and un-needy. My imagination is my only home.

Like I said, Imaginary Me had no rules and had someone wanted to come up and talk I'd have gladly done so. Offered them a cig if they liked. Or maybe just shoot the shit. Anything was good. In real life, I hate questions, the one most dreaded being, "Who are you?" (How are you supposed to answer that? Should I say "Misunderstood Genius" or "Understood Loser" - or maybe I should go with the God line: "I am who I am." How the fuck am I supposed to answer it, really? How can anyone answer that? "Who are you, motherfucker?") But the Man With No Rules can be asked anything. He's happy to oblige.

It was also cool because Imaginary Me didn't need money. It wasn't because he had money, he just didn't need it one way or the other. This was a complete man I was looking at here. Imaginary Me peered up at the sun and sky, absorbing the day, clearly a man at peace with himself. Imaginary Me couldn't be rousted or questioned or hassled in any way. He was untouchable by the Stupidity of man and every man's sins were his own. God, that was sweet! You pay for your sins and I'll pay for mine. That's the way it should be - and will be.

The sun drenched steps held me spellbound in my own little world. Transfixed as I stared outside, I could hear the Voices of Unenlightenment dissuading me. "This is not productive - and therefore not permitted." "Only the real world counts, not this feeling." "No dreaming in public! That's not what life is for!" But none of that bothered me as I saw myself pull out another cigarette with an easy and knowing smile. To know thyself is to be undefeatable. Imaginary Me took an extra long drag as he looked at the world around him - and then blew smoke in its face.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The End of the Day

"Do you think I came to bring peace on the earth?
No, I tell you, but division."

Jesus Christ, Luke 12:51

[In the despair of the night I held a vision of God's dreams twisted into men's nightmares - and I was eaten alive...EATEN ALIVE]

The Beast sat upon his throne, laughing at the stupid humans. He'd brought them to his ruin and yet still they blindly embraced their demise. Murderers and rapists ruling the day, hungry hounds seething on strained leash. The human heartbeat drowning in the rage of the times as insanity was proclaimed sane. Such days of darkness had never been known by humankind. The criminal became incorporated and the corporate became God. Victims were declared the new criminals. The starving, the mistreated, the abused, the slandered, the condemned, the falsely accused – to hurt in any way brought contempt and a sneer for your fate. It was a world on the brink of collapse and the wolves sought to devour the few remaining morsels.

One of the many well-paid spokesman for the Beast addressed a lost world:

"Today, we implement the Final Solution! Freedom, at last! No more shall our enemies persecute and destroy us. Their treacherous ways will be silenced forever! How long have we lived with these traitors among us? How long have we put up with their fascist dictates? How long have we suffered their insufferable mandates? Too long, I tell you! The time has come for us to do solely as we please – without question and without shackles.

"The world must be made safe for our love of war. We must eliminate those who refuse the peace war brings! Our wars of love must be sustained at any cost! Ours is the only way. To listen to the voices of poison among us is to eliminate our future. But today we shall stamp out disunity and discord so that we may forever sing the song of peace we all say we so dearly crave!"

Wild cheers and applause greeted the speechmaker. At last, the debate of who was right and who was wrong would be determined forever. The protesting traitors who called for the end of war and a commitment to peace had been gathered into camps for extermination. Slowly the fuse had shortened until even the most liberal minded of the warmongers could no longer stand to hear words of opposition. The blood hung heavy on the war supporters' foreheads to the point of breaking. Something had to be done!

But something funny happened on the way to the execution. The camp dwellers – the guileless meek, the stout-hearted, the honest, the peacemakers, the truth tellers, anyone incapable of waging war – all disappeared into thin air. The wheat was separated from the chaff. The sky blackened in terror as dark as the deepest night. Out of the sky landed huge machines searing through the earth. Electricity ceased to flow and cowering humans huddled in knowing fear as their hearts told them of guilt gone too far.

Out of the machines came creatures with many heads, wormlike, with a slicing round saw spinning in its mouth through razor-like teeth. With an intelligence sanctioned by God the creatures scoured the planet in an uncompromising zeal to sever any remaining human life. For anyone left on the planet at that time no recourse could be found: their fate being the same fate they’d handed out to others. How could it be otherwise?

Many decades before, a voice of evil had triumphantly declared the morning of a new age – the age of blessed corruption. As that day came to a close, the folly of the corrupt was plain to see as their carcasses mounted to the sky. In winning the world they lost their lives.

Where else did you think corruption would lead?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Inquiring (Alien) Minds Want To Know

Radar shows large, fast, unexplained object
By ANGELA K. BROWN Associated Press Writer

FORT WORTH, Texas -- An enormous aircraft without transponders traveling up to 2,100 mph - at one time zooming toward President [Moron]'s Crawford ranch - is similar to the mysterious object dozens reported seeing, according to radar documents examined by a group that studies unidentified flying objects.

"This shows ample evidence of UFO activity," said Kenneth Cherry, Texas director of the Mutual UFO Network, which has been studying phenomenon earlier this year in Stephenville and Dublin, about 75 miles southwest of Fort Worth. "They were turning at angles not possible by military aircraft."


There was a lot of talk a while back about UFOs seen around Stephenville, which I think is a couple of hours from here. What wasn't reported was the visit I got. Being homeless, there wasn't much I could say. Heck, people already think I'm crazy! But I am emboldened by this new hard evidence to shove down the throats of hard-headed critics of UFOs. So I will pass along now for your own edification the five questions asked of me:

1. Why do you put poison into your air, land and water?

2. What is money and why is it considered of value?

3. Why do you not feed everyone?

4. Why do you have wars when you can live in cooperation?

5. Why is Love not the answer?

Be sure to share with me your own enlightening responses before reading my insightful reply in the button below.

P.S. Technically, there were six questions but I didn't count, "Who's on first?"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Small Minds See A Small World, Part 2

"Hey, dude, I'm here to give it ya straight. I got nothin' against nobody and all I got to say is just the truth of what I saw. I can't help it some people don't like that 'cause I ain't lyin' for nobody! So let me tell ya what happened and you'll see for yourself that I found out this so-called smart guy legend is a total fraud!

"Yeah, man, this guy is supposed to be like some super-genius brainiac dude but I gotta tell ya, he's really dumber than a rock! I see this old guy wandering around, totally freaking lost. He's got no idea where he is just like one of them old-zheimer’s patients. I'm thinking 'Wow, this guy's got nothing upstairs.' I asked how he got here and he says he don't remember! I'm like, Dude! How can you not know how you got here?? He makes up this totally gnarly excuse he was like in deep thought or something. Whatever. Deep thought, huh? Dude, try some thought about where you're going! Genius, my ass! He was just feeding me a line of shit he made up just so he could feel good about himself. What a loser.

"I asked around later and some of my peeps tell me this guy never really thought up any of the shit he's supposed to be famous for. What he did was like take other people's work and start saying it was his own. Now that makes sense to me. And I know it's tough to take and everything but we gotta face the truth so we don't walk around all delusional and shit. That Einstein guy is lucky all he did was theory stuff because I betcha if anyone really tested it people would find out he is completely full of shit.

"Sorry to have to tell ya'll this but I'm the Bringer Of Truth!"

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Small Minds See A Small World

As the director of a mental ward it is sometimes awkward dealing with our disturbed patients. Yes, it's true I'm highly trained and knowledgeable but the human equation invariably creates situations for which no one can prepare. My guess is this happens because there are those so far outside the realm of the norm there is simply no way to account for such deviant perspectives. I have one such fellow here now and when he presented me with an original painting of his I felt forced to accept it due to this man existing in a psychiatric black hole.

His presence sets everyone who's near on edge. One cannot but help but think of the mutilation incident which triggered his arrival but there's also a continuous nervous energy to the creature grating others into self-consciousness. He tells us he makes us feel the same way he feels around others. If so, I truly pity his world! And the god-awful painting I am currently burdened with gives off the exact same sensation as his being. It is a true piece of silliness, the product of a dysfunctional mind unable to relate to anything outside of its own, small world.

What was truly galling to myself and the staff was his brother sending money under the guise this madman had actually sold one of these pathetic pieces of pretense! This tortured soul explained his work by saying he creates mirrors by which the viewer can see himself. Hogwash! As it is, my wife and I are tormented daily in our abode by this mocking abomination that covers the crack in our living room wall. I have half a mind to call his brother and tell him to come sell this. Then again, his brother is a tad off kilter as well. Those Van Gogh brothers are a quite a pair!