What did the doctor say?
He said I had PTSD like symptoms.
Post-traumatic stress disorder? You're kidding!
No...it's like a nightmare, it truly is.
What are you going to do about it?
I don't know! I don't know - if I could do something about it it wouldn't be a nightmare.
I don't know what to say.
I know...I'm over 50, I'm old, fat and ugly now. My skin is deteriorating from the stress - I dare not even go into a spa I'm so ashamed.
That's awful. Is he still seeing that girl?
He's got another one now. He's gone. I've lost him. I gave everything to him and this is how he treats me.
Maybe you shouldn't have done that.
Done what??
Given him everything. Maybe he didn't deserve it.
It's a marriage. You're supposed to give everything.
Is that for every marriage or just the right marriage?
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I mean you let him use you. He used up the best years of your life. You told me at the time how exciting it was, how he humiliated you and ordered you around and how you liked never having to think.
What? I'm not supposed to have any fun?
I'm just saying there's a price to pay for prostituting yourself.
A wife can't be a prostitute. We are a legal couple, OK? Bound in the eyes of the church. You were there for the wedding, you know this.
Maybe a wedding and a marriage was all you wanted.
Who doesn't want that?
You.
ME?
Yeah, you. If you'd wanted that that you'd have one now. It was all a big act, wasn't it? Now it comes to light: you were two people looking for a free ride.
Oh, you don't know anything. You're no help. I don't need that sort of judgement on me.
Grow up. Facts aren't judgement. And fact is you need a way out of your phony marriage.
It's not a phony marriage. It's a real one. It's all his fault this isn't working.
Then leave.
You know I can't! There's no place for me to go. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, scrambling to survive. You know what the economy is like. I can't live hand to mouth till I die.
Then fix your marriage!
What marriage?...
See! You admit it's fake too!
I didn't mean that. It just slipped out. You got my head all turned around.
PTSD will do that to you.
I pray to God every night to help me. Not a thing. I pray God will change his heart and bring him back to me.
Oh, please...
There you are being judgemental again. You should try some prayer. You're all alone.
Maybe so. It's done you so much good.
Yeah, well...I gotta do something. I can't stay in this house with him coming home with the smell of another woman the rest of my life. It's killing me. He spends a fortune on them too. Young girls, doing everything...
Everything, what? That you used to do? It's just more of the same, swapping sex for money.
If I could make him poor he'd come back to me!
Is that your plan?
I don't have a plan. Believe me, I've asked myself over and over how can I find a way to live but after all this time I've got nothing left. I had a dream the other night where a tornado came down the street and I didn't even move. It was like I wanted it to come and blow me away without me having any say. Cripples can't live alone.
You really can't say you've made good decisions can you when you end up sick and pathetic like this.
I can't face it! I can't face it!
You should have bailed a long time ago. You waited too long now you got no way out. It's like a debt you just let get bigger and bigger and now you'll spend the rest of your life paying on it. You wanted all the goodies without paying for them but stick around long enough and the bill comes due.
I was hoping to die before then.
There are no simple solutions.
This wasn't supposed to happen to me. It's the people who can't get married and have a nice house who are the losers.
This isn't high school anymore, sweetie. You've been hiding in there too long. No one gets to hide forever.
I could just die...I could just die...
He said I had PTSD like symptoms.
Post-traumatic stress disorder? You're kidding!
No...it's like a nightmare, it truly is.
What are you going to do about it?
I don't know! I don't know - if I could do something about it it wouldn't be a nightmare.
I don't know what to say.
I know...I'm over 50, I'm old, fat and ugly now. My skin is deteriorating from the stress - I dare not even go into a spa I'm so ashamed.
That's awful. Is he still seeing that girl?
He's got another one now. He's gone. I've lost him. I gave everything to him and this is how he treats me.
Maybe you shouldn't have done that.
Done what??
Given him everything. Maybe he didn't deserve it.
It's a marriage. You're supposed to give everything.
Is that for every marriage or just the right marriage?
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I mean you let him use you. He used up the best years of your life. You told me at the time how exciting it was, how he humiliated you and ordered you around and how you liked never having to think.
What? I'm not supposed to have any fun?
I'm just saying there's a price to pay for prostituting yourself.
A wife can't be a prostitute. We are a legal couple, OK? Bound in the eyes of the church. You were there for the wedding, you know this.
Maybe a wedding and a marriage was all you wanted.
Who doesn't want that?
You.
ME?
Yeah, you. If you'd wanted that that you'd have one now. It was all a big act, wasn't it? Now it comes to light: you were two people looking for a free ride.
Oh, you don't know anything. You're no help. I don't need that sort of judgement on me.
Grow up. Facts aren't judgement. And fact is you need a way out of your phony marriage.
It's not a phony marriage. It's a real one. It's all his fault this isn't working.
Then leave.
You know I can't! There's no place for me to go. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, scrambling to survive. You know what the economy is like. I can't live hand to mouth till I die.
Then fix your marriage!
What marriage?...
See! You admit it's fake too!
I didn't mean that. It just slipped out. You got my head all turned around.
PTSD will do that to you.
I pray to God every night to help me. Not a thing. I pray God will change his heart and bring him back to me.
Oh, please...
There you are being judgemental again. You should try some prayer. You're all alone.
Maybe so. It's done you so much good.
Yeah, well...I gotta do something. I can't stay in this house with him coming home with the smell of another woman the rest of my life. It's killing me. He spends a fortune on them too. Young girls, doing everything...
Everything, what? That you used to do? It's just more of the same, swapping sex for money.
If I could make him poor he'd come back to me!
Is that your plan?
I don't have a plan. Believe me, I've asked myself over and over how can I find a way to live but after all this time I've got nothing left. I had a dream the other night where a tornado came down the street and I didn't even move. It was like I wanted it to come and blow me away without me having any say. Cripples can't live alone.
You really can't say you've made good decisions can you when you end up sick and pathetic like this.
I can't face it! I can't face it!
You should have bailed a long time ago. You waited too long now you got no way out. It's like a debt you just let get bigger and bigger and now you'll spend the rest of your life paying on it. You wanted all the goodies without paying for them but stick around long enough and the bill comes due.
I was hoping to die before then.
There are no simple solutions.
This wasn't supposed to happen to me. It's the people who can't get married and have a nice house who are the losers.
This isn't high school anymore, sweetie. You've been hiding in there too long. No one gets to hide forever.
I could just die...I could just die...
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