Beware The Poison Shrew!

Never trust the poison shrew!
She has no place in her heart for you;
"Ask me why I do what I do -
"It's because evil I know you do!"

She sits on squalored sidewalk, wild hair with venomous claws, hissing and spitting at passersby. "It's my right to spit on thee!"

The shrew drew sharp attention to a young couple pushing a stroller. She spat a glob of poison onto the baby's blanket. The father was livid as livid could be.

"You sick, nasty witch! How dare you attack my child! You belong in jail!"

"Don't let my emotional reaction affect your emotions! HAHAHA! I own you!"

"And you wonder why no man will have you!"

"I want no man! I want no man!" The shrew began howling as if stuck by a knife.

"HAHAHAHA! I own you!" the good father retorted. "Come near my child again and I'll kill you. Count on it."

The shrew lashed out with her claws but was too crippled in spirit to move beyond her filthy spot.

But in darkness, free from watching eyes she slithered here and there, a snake among humans. She tracked the baby's home and found it to be a boy.

"A male! I should have known! Males always defend males! With a father like that this boy can only grow to be a rapist - a rapist of women! But I shall defend my rights! I am the avenging angel!"

Drawing a vile of her poison saliva, she "saved" the world of a future rapist. She sat outside the window the next morning listening to the parents wail in unbearable pain. "Dear God, how could you take our baby away from us?"

Men did this to me!

The shrew returned to her spot only to find the pained father waiting for her. "It's you who did this, didn't you? If I ever get a shred of proof I'll break your fucking neck!"

"Listen! Listen! He's threatening my life! Someone get this awful male away from me!"

A woman passing by was shocked at the father's behavior. She was one who knew all the facts before knowing them. "How dare you pick on this poor, old lady? Can't you see she's having a hard time? Open your eyes!"

"Open YOUR eyes, lady! You get what you deserve with that witch!"

The woman took the shrew home, the shrew thanking her all the way, blessing her. "Only you understand. If only people would be good to me!"

The woman bathed the shrew, gave her new clothes and put her to bed. "I'll see you in the morning!" she cheered.

But muttered the shrew, "Not if I have anything to do with it!" Once the shrew knew the woman was asleep she spat her vile poison into the woman's mouth as she lay in helpless pose.

The woman woke to the sight of a hideous smile looming over her in her final moments on earth. "But why? I was kind to you! I am enlightened in my approach! How can this happen?"

"Because blind is not kind, you idiot!" And the shrew cackled once more in the "rightness" of her poison.

The face of love?

The next night the shrew's nightly mares blazed more than ever into its burning soul. Please give me a man! I need a man! No man can want me! When she woke, the memories of her confession drove her mad with rage and terror. "No one must hear me say that! Not now or ever! They must die if they do! Damn those men for torturing me!"

She spent the next week protesting from person to person. "I love women! Boy do I love women! I talk about it all the time! Must mean it's true! No evil men for me! I'm satisfied the way I am! I am, dammit!"

Nobody cared one way or the other, most just wishing she'd shut up with her constantly annoying droning. Then, out of the blue, a man winked at her.

"Evil, that! You don't fool me! Bad, evil men!" The shrew knew why men did everything: because they are evil! But helpless in what may be her last chance at redemption, she crawled after him to lick his shoe.

"Stop that! I don't want you licking my shoe! I want a normal woman!"

Too stunned to lash out, the shrew grew even more shrew and shrilled away the day in freefall agony. Passing a mirror, she saw a face that would turn Medusa to stone. Then she realized the enemy within.

"My tongue! My traitorous tongue! It's possessed and evil! It was not me wanting that man! It was not me who was inadequate! That tongue must be fixed!"

The shrew bit her tongue in a fit of self-righteous anger, once again proud at having done the "right" thing. But this right thing proved fatal as she bled to death in a river of mangy red dripping into a rotted gutter.

With the death of the shrew the entire town felt a sense of relief, thanking Nature for taking its course and letting those who choose life to live life in peace.


Petruchio: Come, come, you wasp; i' faith, you are too angry.
Katherine: If I be waspish, best beware my sting.
Petruchio: My remedy is then, to pluck it out.
Katherine: Ay, if the fool could find where it lies.
Petruchio: Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
Katherine: In his tongue.
Petruchio: Whose tongue?
Katherine: Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell.
Petruchio: What, with my tongue in your tail? Nay, come again, Good Kate; I am a gentleman.