The Left Wing Slut

"I'll never say no to you." And never did she.

"Good. Get down on your knees. And suck it, bitch!"

She gratefully obliged, making herself used by the pleasure she gave, sacrificing herself before her god. Her god was also her boss and she the kind of hired help he fully desired.

For ten years she'd been carrying on affairs with a married man - this one just her latest. The men were always connected to her job which she hoped to twist into fulfilling all the needs of a personal life. She bound herself up in her affairs, crying wretchedly if they ever threatened to break off. On occasion she steeled herself into staying away, making a political stand to herself that she could stand on her own two feet. But propaganda breaks under reality's bite and she came rushing back more willing than ever.

Her cousin pleaded with her to stop the affairs, that they could only end in trouble, with her winding up old, wrinkled and alone. But the broken bird craved the cruelty. "Please, let me have just a little more fun. Just a little while more. Not now." Not ever. The key to success was the self-lie: that the married men truly loved her ("It's different with us!" was her campaign poster) and that a future of bliss was just around the corner - but it was the hopeless hope of fighting a war than can never be won.

War does a soul good!

Though recently turned 45, she still savored the thrill of sliding on her low-rise slut jeans exposing her crack to the world. She pressed the remote to the TV to find a Republican redneck squawking about government regulations giving more concern to the environment than to business. "People need jobs. Let's take of care of people first," proposed the man with a greedy grin.

"That motherfucker!" she spat. "You don't give a damn about people at all!" She made a mental note of putting him on her list of bad apples to fix. Many issues, many lives needed fixing and the Slut had answers for them all, pinning her ears back in blind determination. She felt a need to campaign and called a close distant friend.

"I signed up for that online dating site. I can't believe the creeps on there." Her girlfriend on the phone had also signed up and confirmed she too found men dripping with 'creepy charm'. "I'm holding out for someone good. I need to get serious about finding something real." As her friend prattled on in reply, she smiled to herself, congratulating herself on the wonderful promise she'd made to her adoring public. Now she had moral cover for her sluttiness. If exposed she could point to the membership testifiying to her sincerity of finding an honest relationship.

Outside the city limits was a lodge where executives in her industry escaped for relaxation. It also had a reputation for sexual rampages. Like all corrupt politicians, she couldn't resist the temptation of false morality. And if no one called her on it, she was safe.

"I'm thinking of going out to the Lodge this weekend. I need a break." In fact, she'd already made up her mind with relish.

"The Lodge? That place is full of sex fiends!"

"Oh, I know. But I'm not going out there for that. I just need to get away and besides it's a good way to meet other real estate developers." She hung up the phone in elation. The Slut planned to make no good on any of her promises but still found herself electable as a person of high morals. The rush of feeling and power was like a heroin injection filling her empty life. She swore to herself she'd arrive at the lodge with absolutely no intentions of being seduced - and she couldn't wait for it to happen!

Next Monday she picked up the phone at work, a male voice speaking. "I sure would like to see you again at the Lodge!" He licked his wolfen chops.

"I've got bruises all over my body. I can barely remember what happened I was so drunk." She remembered every detail in reality but she loved the role of the naive virgin.

"We crashed through the furniture. You were barking like a dog. It was great!"

"Oh, I don't know about all that. If you say so." Truth was even she was shocked by the depravity she'd exhibited. She was slipping, rotting, morphing into something she hated.

"Well, I really want to see you again. Just say when."

"Okay, but I've got some dates lined up with dates.com and I'm not so sure I have time for frivolity like that." She quickly disconnected from his uncomfortable presence. I don't have dates lined up, but I could. So that's not a lie. I can quit these affairs anytime.

Later that afternoon driving back from a land deal, her boss looked over at her with the stare of demand. "I want to do you now."

"Okay."

He pulled into an empty field overlooking a long grassy field. While getting into position the Slut suddenly recognized the property: it belonged to the developer with whom she'd had her weekened affair. Her boss-god wanted to take her in plain sight of it, letting her know to whom she belonged. He's jealous! Yes, he still wants me as his toy!

Elect the right person and you can keep your corruption!

On the phone to her girlfriend, she made a delicious stump speech, sure to impress the masses. She finished her story with: "It was a total accident we ended up by that field," she declared of the state of their union. "Wasn't that a wild coincidence?"

"That was no coincidence! He did it on purpose!"

"Oh, I don't know. He can be awfully naive sometimes."

"I think you're nuts!"

"No, I'm not. I've got medicine for that." On her dresser lay a cornucopia of prescription medications.

"There's just no talking to you!"

The Slut looked curiously at the dead receiver. "I wonder what her problem is." Then a knock came on the door. She was informed a neighbor down the street was suicidal. "Like, OH-my God! I've been, like, so suicidal all my life. I so know how to fix him!" She left with the urgency of a diplomatic envoy to war-torn Middle East. She knocked feverishly but no reply.

"I shan't be stopped!" Her dogmatic mission from God was not to be denied. "I'll find out what the problem is." Immediately she marched to his garbage can, overturning it and digging through each and every item. "I'm gonna fix him!"

"Hey there! What the hell you doin' in my trash?" The old man was appalled and livid stepping out his side door.

"I'm just trying to understand you."

"That's no way to get to know anybody! Don't you know nothin'! If ya can't come through the front door don't come at all!"

"But your trash is so beautiful. I will worship it to make you better-"

"I can't believe you even have to be told not to go diggin' in my affairs. Get the hell out, you crazy woman!"

When she told her friends about it afterwards she professed confusion on why he was so protective of his trash. She was merely executing correct political policy. Just can't help some people. Also, to bolster her image, she told of putting her boss in place. "He starts in on how he got this email about how Obama screwed up the economy and I was like, "Stop right there! I'm not going to listen to that shit! Don't be repeating that crap to me!" What she failed to relay was her boss-god's reply of, "OK. But just remember you need my Republican dick in you." The Slut agreed - and with every thrust the more she became as he was.

But he saw her growing dependence on him and called off the affair once again. She wept into the phone that night a complete basket case, inconsolable to the end. Her cousin gently suggested she seek a husband of her own.

"That's the last thing I want! I don't ever want a husband again!" Her voice turned venomous.

"No, you just want everyone else's."

"You just don't understand."

"No, I understand perfectly well: you don't want the responsibility."

The Slut staggered off to her bedroom, aching for a sexual conquest to retreat into her cavity of corruption. This bleak, dark hole could not be her life. Just couldn't be! And she couldn't let her singlehood tarnish her reputation. She needed a catchy jingo to sell to her supporters...she got it! "Once married, twice shy!" Perfect. Re-election was in the bag.

A few weeks later, desperately clinging to her dying image, she imparted forth her political bona fides:

"I know what Obama's problem is: he just doesn't want to take on any responsibility. All he does is put out political statements trying to make everyone think everything's OK when it isn't. 'The economy's good...we're making the right decisions...the war is a noble endeavor.' But he's just lying to himself so he can feel good about what he's doing. He's a whore of Babylon just like they all are up there in Washington. Somebody's got to do something about all this corruption!"

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