Thursday, December 11, 2008

More News of the World


Le Femme are chiding me mightily after my appearance on Oprah, which of course, is amusing me to no end. You go, girls! Let me have it! Only it ain't me you're protesting - rather it's your own sense of irresponsibility. And it's always music to my ears to hear someone finally admit that (which is why you never hear a word from Debby on anything - she's hip to this game). For those who missed it, it went something like this:

HH: I don't want to say you're anti-male on this show but I saw a woman come on here and describe men as subhuman when compared to women - probably because of all our destructive behavior. To which I can only say it sure says a lot about you when you call us evil one moment and spread your legs for us the next. But if you want to take the whole "subhuman" argument logically, then it's women who are subhuman because they have no human needs. It's men who disintegrate when alone. It's men who have needs outside themselves. It's women who don't need sex."

[Audience uproar. Me with shit eating grin]

Oprah: Oh really? That's quite a statement. So tell me why you don't think women like sex - or is it women just don't like sex with you?"

[Wild applause from audience. Me still with shit eating grin. In fact, I'm chuckling.]

HH: That's funny - you completely agree with me!

Oprah: I really don't think I'm agreeing with you at all.

HH: People never do. [To audience] Did anyone else catch it? Did you see what she said?

[Nervous murmurs from the crowd]

Oprah: I guess you'll have to enlighten us to what I said.

HH: OK. Lets have this conversation again, only this time we'll change the subject to water. "I don't think women need water."

Oprah: Well, that's completely absurd. Of course women need water, just like men do.

HH: See? See? You did it again. Nobody sees the difference do they? [I'm smirking like a total jack ass at this point]. You switched the words. When I said women don't need sex, you responded with: Why don't women like sex? When I said women don't need water, you responded: Why don't women need water? When you believe it's a need, you respond with that same word, when you believed it was just a desire, you again responded likewise.

Oprah: I see.

HH: That's the big communication gap. Maybe 5 percent of women truly understand men. And thank dear God Jesus in heaven for them! But the rest just think men really like sex because that what it is for them: a desire. Sex for men is like food. Sex for women is like dessert. You can live without one but not the other. Women confuse what they want - what they like - with what they need. And then automatically assume men are doing the same thing. And where illusions go, trouble follows.

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She said it was her convenience to believe I was doing fine. Never did I trust her again.

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"Thank you, sir. May I please have another sip of Kool Aid?"

I caught a little bit of Lou Dobb's CNN show. I don't know what it's called, "Crabfire" or something like that. Anyway, they had some woman on there who lost her job. She has five kids. Her husband lost his job months ago. They moved in with her mom. Her mom's house is being foreclosed upon and the sheriff has notified them of the final date for occupancy. To which I can only say: Hey lady, wait till you see the shelter! Welcome to my hell!

Again I ask: what kind of system prevents people from working who want to? Do we need less cars now than a year ago? Or less food? Or less anything (excluding Britney)?? It's all a gigantic childish farce. Every human being has an irresistible urge to serve something greater than himself. This is all part of our charade of pretending money is more important than we are. As I've said before: there's nothing more dangerous than being conviction-less. Still think serving love is optional? Then come join me and the lady with five squalling brats at the shelter! Fuckers...

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Show me a conservative...and I'll show you a freak.

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The Fried Piper

I could do a poem on this but I'm too tired. I saw a headline on some psycho Blackwater lunatics being charged with throwing grenades at unarmed Iraqis - nothing unusual there except the evildoers got charged. Which leads me to the great Evildoer Leader himself: our 43rd President. And while I do think it would be hilarious to no end to see some Islamic justice done to those Blackwater traitors (cut their hands off!), I couldn't help but conjure up a vision of our Fried Piper President leading these rats astray.

There's no doubting the skill and maniacal devotion of the Piper's call of deeming evil to be good. Eighty percent of the country heard this call and responded, "Hell, yeah!" Hell indeed, mein kampfs. But while some have revolted from the Piper's path, others went whole hog - and the Piper loves this! For he ensured his own well-being before embarking on his road to perdition but the poor fools who followed - haha! - he gets to watch you roast for his sins. Sort of reminds me of how the other Notorious Terrorist bragged after 9/11 that some of the perpetrators didn't even know they were on a suicide mission.

The same voices of evil and love have been with us since the beginning of time. These voices rise and fall according to the people around them.

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