Saturday, November 14, 2009

Lost On The Road


So I'm on the road at this rusty old gas station outpost in faded white paint pretending of a purity it never had and I'm a long way from home only I don't have a home and I'm driving and driving to try and find a home only I don't know if there's a home to be found.

A boy by a stream
Dreams of a flower he'd seen
Like the moon and the stars and the river


And I got to pee but this place is so nasty I don't want to pee here so I start looking around at buildings in the back so I can hide and pee and I finally get a spot even though I got people following me asking me for help because they are helpless and when I pee I don't know if I'm indoors or outdoors but it all comes out like cherry cola from all the drugs I have to keep taking to keep going on the road.

But he dare not pretend her
And dare not offend her
With the hopes and dreams he would give her


The car is all crapped out and messy and stinky from the long road trip and I need to do something to clean it out but I can't ever get the time because I always have to keep moving and I keep saying, "later, later, now is not the time" but it's bugging me bad but I can't stop now but the stench just gets worse and worse and who wants to share a thing such as that?

But flowers of dreams
Are not what they seem
When their roots are buried too shallow


Someone is with me who could be my brother or not because I'm never me so is he ever he I don't know because I never look in the rearview mirror because of what may be gaining on me and all the maps have all the roads twisting to places I don't want to go to but I feel I need to get to someplace fast.

She lets herself be fucked
And her petals to be plucked
While taking food from earth we call hallowed.


So I'm going down the road again and one mistake I crash and they leave you to yourself for all time and the pressure is all on me to keep going when I want to rest and I'm screaming for help like the helpless back at the station but no one can hear me in the car and I look over in the next car and they are screaming too so who can help me anyway?

Stream boy is crying
As the flower is dying
Does he not know the sun is still shining?

Then the old days hit me when I had no home then too and the little boy crying thinking this is my hell because life has no life and love has no love and dreams have no dreams but believing none of it but needing all of it but running away from it in my car and my car is getting old and older and needs to rest.

And the flower does bleed
Saying, "I'm just a weed!"
Of her petals she is still pining.


I am lost.



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