When a shepherd views his flock, not a single sheep is un-precious to him. The loss of even one is intolerable, creating an immediate and all-consuming crisis. But to the wider world, the loss or gain of another sheep is wholly unremarkable, unworthy of notice. So who has the correct perspective?
J and D had lost their star - if they ever had one - after 24 years. The contract on their marriage had been declared null and void, rotting away through the years as the strain of lies broke down their pretenses into lives of pointless gestures. The premise of parting was one most obvious: life should have meaning. They deserved better, these mature adults were ready to face reality and move on. They could hear the praise of angels in this decision. No wonder that guy wrote parting is such sweet sorrow.
He went west cost, she went east coast - the adventure begins! D joined her college-graduated daughter hoping to recapture the purpose of motherhood by buying an abode where they both could live in safe harbor from expensive city rates. But her daughter had found her own life, Mom was no longer needed outside of monetary logistics. Scratch plan A. But that's OK, meaning is out there waiting to be had!
She was willing to try anything - as long as it did not involve opening up. She got heavily involved in the local denomination of her church, but try as she might, she couldn't escape feeling a stranger in their midst. Furnishing the house was a pleasant distraction - for a while. The list of possibilities kept dwindling like a fading mirage, the harder she chased the further away it got. Then she just couldn't run anymore.
For J, coming home to an empty house was a punch in the stomach every time he entered the engraved mahogany of the front door. The glitter was gone from his prized possessions that had previously ruled the roost. Shame crept in with the evening darkness: shame of a life wasted, finding "success" in running away from himself. He figured with his millions he could buy his way out of despair. But he couldn't buy a future. Scratch plan A. If he kept on like this the worst of all possible fates would end his reign on earth: revelation.
J and D found that the illusion they were able to create as a couple, while choking them, also allowed them to keep up appearances. Safe within the confines of a marriage, they were free to imagine themselves as they wished without having to face the true state of each one's rotted soul. They were cocky cockroaches in the dark but scattered for dear life when the light came on. How long could they stand it in front of the mirror?
Resignation happened in a heartbeat. Though building for years, the final give-up was instantaneous. For them, the world stopped spinning, J and D would be left behind as the universe moved forward. The dire bitterness was too much to take, so they turned off the spigot of their feelings. They concocted clever lies ("The separations didn't work out. Haha!"), making a political coup, garnering votes from family and friends on what successful lives the pair were leading. From this point forward, life would be a perpetual campaign of keeping up appearances - conspiracy theories encouraged.
*******
Two more recruits enter the zombie army, unfeeling and unthinking, spewing repressed rage in furious blame at the still living, weaving ever more fantastical and outlandish tales to explain the emptiness of their lives as they honor their new contract - a contract of depravity - as they drink poison from a gilded cup of lies, admitting nothing but fearing the sun's daily rise. Reunited and it feels so bad.
Two lost sheep among billions. Is it the end of the world or a negligible non-event; another hobo dying in a cold dumpster on a winter night - a heartbreaking story but the world shrugs, adding to a bill that must one day be paid. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.
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