In a dark corner of the world in the year of our Lord 1953, a group of murderous hearts was having a Hoods Night Out party. Never is support from your fellow man so needed as when you plan to do wrong.
"We needs to finds us a nigger to kill."
"Who been uppity lately?"
"Don't make no matter really. Them all deserves it."
A boy of proper pigmentation was found and everyone looked forward to a family-friendly Christian lynching. God was properly thanked for the picnic baskets of food that were provided while cloth was stuffed into the mouth of the screaming boy facing a cruel and certain death. The presiding Grand Dragon gave a speech.
"We've all heard what them outside agitators have been saying and we ain't the backwards folks people say we is. This is America! Land of the free! Folks got rights in this country and not none of them more important than votin'!"
The attending crowd applauded and heartily agreed with the speech-maker. He continued. "And to show you what fair minded man I must be, we be letting every person in the whole city have a say - even the nigras!"
More applause and whistles though some laughter was mixed in. When the final tally was counted the result was 90-9 in favor. The Grand Dragon was confused.
"Ain't there ten niggers in this town? One of them votin' for it?"
"Can't never tell with them they so ignorant. Point is, we won!"
The Grand Dragon announced the count. "So you can see, this is all proper and legal - just liken when we voted to kill Jesus so he could save us. This gonna save us too! Thank you, God!"
But while the crowd roared and feverishly started making preparations, the Mayor privately spoke of his reservations to his staff.
"Voting doesn't make this any more right. I have to put a stop to this."
"But your honor, you can't! You saw the count. You'll lose the election next month. Remember: You can't help fix things unless you're in a position of power. That's just a fact! If you want to keep on doing good things then you got to go along. You can write a book about it later when you're out of office about how much you abhorred it."
The Mayor looked at each of the faces of his staff who were in complete agreement. His reply was immediate: "Go fuck yourselves and your triangulating. There's no point being in power if you don't do the right thing. Without justice no one has a future."
That's when the Mayor addressed the crowd in a plea for sanity. "Friends, I ask you a question: Is this what's really in your heart? Are we really so pathetic that we seek to normalize murder? Are our lives without any hope? We can do better. I see it from each of you every day on the street. Don't give up on love - because love never does on us."
A stranglehold of silence gripped the crowd. The Mayor asked for a re-vote and the Grand Dragon acquiesced. This time the vote was unanimous.
"I'm here announcin' fer one and all, this time the votin' be all the same: Hang the Mayor."
Everybody got what they wanted. The crowd satisfied its bloodlust, the Mayor stood by his principles, and the town retained a veneer of morality for having voted in the American way.
CODA:
Concerned town leaders gathered in City Hall to discuss who would be the next Mayor when a sharply dressed black man entered the room.
"Gentlemen, may I introduce myself? I believe I have the perfect candidate to solve all your problems: Me."
"You'uns must be crazy! We ain't have no nigger Mayor."
"Actually, your double negative makes it so. You were wondering which black voted for the lynching? That was me."
The men started laughing. For while having voted to make things "proper", papers around the land furiously condemned the lynching. It dawned on even these molasses minds that having a black mayor would make them appear moral again.
"OK, then! You-all is the new mayor. No on can call us racial ever again! We can hate all we wants!"
Once in office, the new Mayor passed sweeping reforms that easily passed the town vote as the citizens were deliriously happy to be hailed as a beacon of light - while still retaining the precious hate they loved above all else. What was not understood by the citizens was that the reforms gave the majority of the money now to the blacks. This went unnoticed as the whites in town had a long history of voting against their economic interests. Finally, one day a redneck noticed something.
"Hey, how come all the whites is out workin' in fields and all the blacks is drivin' 'round in big fancy cars?"
The Mayor enlightened him. "Because that was the plan all along, you dumb fucking hillbillies."
No comments:
Post a Comment