Nine Not Mine

"Queerbait pussy motherfucker! You must be the most worthless human being alive! Do you have any idea just what the fuck you are doing with your life? Boy, you got some learnin' to do, Moron bitch!" So sayeth the Bully, who then urinated on the floor the Moron was scrubbing.

Everything is the opposite of what it seems.

The Moron wondered how life got so perverted there on the Living Ranch. The Lord of the manor had left on business, entrusting the grand house to the ten ranch hands. At first, everything ran smoothly but as time passed on doubts began to creep in about the return of the Lord. The Bully was the first to speak out.

"Shit, man, we should be living in the manor like this all the time. Who says that fucker's even coming back? I say we be smart and live it up while we can."

And where bullies go, the Weak will follow. The Moron was concerned, though. "If we're going to move into the manor we need to be extremely respectful of the place and make sure nothing gets broken or damaged in any way."

"Fuck you! I don't owe nothin' to nobody. You wanna be a weak bitch. You go ahead."

But most of the others were with the Moron having feelings of gratitude towards the Lord for giving them a good place to live.

"But I just wish he'd hurry up and get back!"

But the Lord remained away, having stated his business was very important. To him, how long he was gone was immaterial. Trust has no timer.

Then a painting got irreparably damaged. That's when the Political Man came to power.

"We are good people with good intent! No one can expect us to be perfect."

"But it would not have been damaged in the first place had we not started living here," pointed out the Moron.

"There's nothing you can say that wouldn't make you a hypocrite. Feel free to go back to the ranch house. But you know the rules: we will lock you out and keep the food here. Do you wish to starve?"

"No, but -"

"There you have it! We're only doing what the Lord wants us to do anyway. He wants us to live a good life, right? I believe in him and trust him! Who's with me!?"

The Bully was more than happy to act as muscle for the Political Man and his preaching. Later, the two conspired.

"No way I'm giving up the good life," pouted the Political Man. "As we betray our Lord we must then get them to betray themselves. Do that and we're golden."

"I can always just beat the shit of out them to keep them in line."

"That has its place but can be defeated by itself. I'll make them feel good about themselves, telling them what they want to hear, and you can tighten your grip as all the more reason to fall in line."

And so it began. Political Man preached it was "their right" to do as they pleased with the Manor, that it was a sign of "good faith" to take what was not theirs, and that any doubters were enemy of the state.

The Weak cheered this news, grateful to be granted absolution and not listen to their own thoughts. Only the Moron was a holdout. That made him a ripe target for political thought.

"See this? A person of no faith! A betrayer of our ways! He divides us instead of standing whole! Blame your miseries on him. He will bring ruin to us all!"

Everything is the opposite of what it seems.

The Bully then went to each person of the Weak asking where he stood. They all cowed to the political.

The Bully was ecstatic, speaking to the Political Man how things were working out. "We rule the house! We can do anything we want. What a bunch of cowards!"

"It's a good thing too at the rate we are trashing the place. Soon there will be nothing left of it."

"What if the Lord comes back and finds everything trashed? We can't trust those weak bitches to stand with us."

"Don't worry. I have a plan for that. We need to get that Moron to convert. That way we can prove no one could have done anything differently than what we've done. Giggle!"

"Leave it to me."

And thus it came to pass the Bully terrorized the Moron even as the Moron kept trying to preserve the manor and cleanse it. The Weak hated the Bully, though, and decided to give the Moron a talk.

"Why are you doing this?? Can't you see it's hopeless? They're never going to stop harassing you until you quit. And besides, it makes no difference in the end! The whole house is going to shit whether you try to preserve or not. May as well get on the winning side. Do you have a death wish?"

But the Moron would have none of it. So the Weak turned on him even with their own hatred of the Bully. "He really is a moron. Just can't save some people. But we tried."

Everything is the opposite of what it seems.

The more time passed, the more bold the conservative degenerates became. Hatred grew of the Moron as they saw him as the source of all their woes. "If only he'd get on board this could be paradise."

That was when the first talk of murder began. "It's for the greater good. A final solution." The Bully ordered the Weak to carry out the order. "You'll be serving the needs of our state! Heroes for all time! And once you have the blood on your hands you'll commit suicide and wipe out any evidence!" The Weak were glad to be given a purpose and told what to do, thinking that absolved them from responsibility. A few expressed doubts about doing it but having expressed them went along anyway, again thinking they were in the clear having aired their objections.

But being weak and without conviction, they failed in their endeavor, burning down part of the Moron's room but leaving him alive. This caused a great Panic.

The Bully asked the Political Man what to do. "We must burn down the whole house! Destroy the evidence! It will be our word against the Moron's on who damaged the house."

The smoke could be seen for miles. But as happens in the construct of the Universe, the worst thing happens at the worst possible time. As dawn broke, Nine stood with gas cans in their hands watching the final ashes blow away into the wind, thinking they were saved. That's also when the Lord of the Manor returned.

"Only one of you I see holds no blame. Why would you do such a thing? Why tell me you had no choice when you had complete freedom? Why do you say I took too long, as if that were your business? I bring you here my son, a carpenter, who came to rebuild the house where we all could live."

The Bully was desperate to save face. "Well, it might have helped if you'd told us that before you left."

"Oh, but I did." And the Lord and his son smiled.

Then the Moron spoke to the Bully: "Do you have any idea just what the fuck you are doing with your life? Boy, you got some learnin' to do!"

Then the Moron spoke to the Political Man: "There's nothing you can say that wouldn't make you a hypocrite. A person of no faith! Blame your miseries on him. He brings ruin to us all!"

Then the Moron spoke to the Weak: "Just can't save some people. But I tried. You had a death wish."

EPILOGUE: The guilty Nine fled to the hills. They spent the rest of their days badmouthing the Lord and the Living Ranch as a place of betrayal. "Don't go there EVER! Your life will be ruined!" The Political Man and the Bully achieved a great following among the Lost who never dare to seek the truth for themselves. But no one escaped the fact that outside the Living Ranch no one could survive, and their "victory" was death.