We know who the enemy is - and it ain't us! It's the gubbenment! It's screwing up everything and now we's finally got us someone in there screwing up it!!! Go King Donnie, go! Make all them elitist high school graduaters kiss your arse! They all's made me feel bad in gym class and now we's gettin' 'em back! Dear Donnie's da smartest man in the room - even if he ain't! HAHAHA! He so clever. Even God is fooled!
Queen Donald: "Everyone, tell me why my ass is the best ass in the world to kiss - and do it in the most demeaning and humiliating way possible!"
President of Vice: "I hopes you's can hear me while shinin' your shoes down here, boss! Jess like Billy Maher, you's can call me your house nigger anytime!"
General Chaos: "First off, I'd to thank our commander-in-cheat for allowing us to wear beanies and clown faces as we duly mock our responsibilities to the American people."
Disbarred Attorney General: "Fuck the law! Fuck anyone who wants it! We're gonna fuck justice right in the ass - on live TV!"
Department of the Inferior: "Mr. Resident, as a female - and therefore inferior in every way - I want to thank you for putting me in my place: the White House kitchen. I promise you the best brownies and the blow jobs ever - even better than your Russian hookers!"
Department of Homelessness: "The king's a rich man. If you ain't rich then sumpthin' wrong wit you! And if your ass is homeless, you be way wrong. Keep houses for us good guys only!"
Department of Edjamication: I are edjamicating childrens good to love Dear Donnie the mostest! Their gonna bee Dear Donnie posters in dem classes fer shur to learns them right and bean like us is!"
Department of Insecurity: EVERYONE is fucking us! Get all them foreigners! They be playing us for fools! We ain't fools no more! We got President Rambo now! It's payback time, bitches! (Excluding all Russians, Russian allies, and anything of Russian interest, of course.)"
Queen Donald: "I just want to thank you for being absolutely the best cabinet in the world, in history, and the universe. I honestly believe you truly represent what the American people deserve. Keep up the good work and massive self-immolation because I'm going to need it once word gets out I was anally penetrated by Russian prostitutes while screaming out my master Putin's name."
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