Bum With a Gun

"There once was a man with a gun,
He said, "I'm a son-of-a-gun!
"I know what I'm doin'
"So don'cha be screwin'
"With a man who plays with his gun!"
-----------------------------------------------------
The Bum With a Gun
Kept his head on the run
To ensure his will would be done.

But Jesus, Who Knew Better
Said his gun he must fetter
Before he'd become a Regretter.

Yet stiff-necked bums never listen,
"On my parade you are a-pissin'!
"There's nothin' in Heaven I'm missin'!"

"Don't call me a brute,
"Or your head I will shoot,
"Your foul words suddenly moot!"

But as he was speaking
His havoc was wreaking
The Bum's bloody foot a-leaking.

"It's your fault, you hater!
"Just another damn traitor!
"You freaking negative baiter!"

"This Negative Bitch,
"Made my trigger itch,
"And caused me a permanent hitch!"

So the Bum With a Gun
Said "It's the will of the Son",
And his savior saw no more sun.

"To see what I need
"Is to see my heart bleed
"But none must know I'm not freed."

"To see what I need
"Is to take my good greed;
"It's twisted dreams that I heed."

Then a Bitch With A Beer
Came comfortably near
To say what he wanted to hear.

For though he'd a mullet
She'd give him a bullet
For when it came time to pull it.

"A friend to the end!
"My ear yours to bend,
"Silencing truths not meaning to send!"

"My gun's fully armed!
"I can never be harmed!
"My enemies had best stand alarmed!"

But what the Bum didn't know
Was that his greatest foe
Had just shot off his bloody right toe!


Righteously reloaded -
And his flattery goaded,
He sought his lies to be quoted.

"I'm a Bum With a Gun!
"My will must be done!
"If ever my war's to be won!"

Then he shot once again
At toes that had sinned;
Now missing two from his ten!

Beer Bitch stood confused,
She can't let him lose!
And fed him more ammo to use.

"It's easy for me
"To see my enemy:
"It's bitches who question me."

"For a man in the right
"Must keep up the fight!
"Or my ego will die of its fright."

He loved his supporters -
The world's greatest hoarders -
Prosperity within their borders.

They said of the other:
You are my true brother;
For none saw the truth as his mother.

"It makes me feel good
"To hear I do as I should,
"For that's what gives me my wood!"

"Those who say I should think,
"I say you're a fink!
"Hope for my lies you would sink."

"If you give me my way,
"In all that I say,
"Bright futures I'll ever portray."

So as his friends fed him death -
He smiled at their breadth.
Until finally he shot their last breath.