Sitting on the Edge of the World

"Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come."
-The Walrus
John Lennon spoke of when he was a youth he would look in the mirror and his face would "trance into alpha." That made him feel like a freak. And while I don't think I ever had a moment like that, I do know I've had "lost" moments I can explain to no one.

They arrive unexpectedly, when you relax - and at the most inopportune times. Moments when if you were to ask me the time or date or planet or reality, I could not answer you and have it be the truth. You stop, look around, and suddenly in you're in the universe - not some crap job or menial exisitence. It makes you want to live there forever...

One such moment for me happened on a sunny spring day in the oil fields of north Texas. I was just along for the ride with the driver who drained the holding tank of water pumped up with the oil (this has be drained and deposited at a registered disposal facility or the owner can be fined). Sitting out in the middle of nowhere, watching the breeze play with the grass and listening to the constant squeak of the pump, I lost my name.

I could have sat there forever, completely calm and content. I was in a place of dreams. If a flying saucer had landed - if anything had happened - it would have all seemed plausible. Sitting on the edge of the world, you can see into infinity. There was a truth in this moment I did not want to leave. I was timeless...

Reality was shattered by a voice of the world. "Come back," it said. "Life is all bills, bullshit and bothers." It was a sightless voice, seeing only with its eyes. "There's no other reality than what he have made." But having seen the universe, I know better.