Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Dichotomy of Me


The waiting teacup
Fearing the touch of the tea
Never gets its fill.

A teacup that never fulfills its purpose...

So what am I blogging for? My words are empty. I'm jacking off on Mars. A dying man rails against the world because it is...dying. Topic of the day is a senator man trying to boink teenage boys. I can say nothing. I'm morally bankrupt myself. I see the feeding herds rush to devour the scandal, never once stopping to think of fixing themselves.

There are two things you can do in life: what God put you here to do - or not. I cannot believe things were meant to be so wrong for me. And yet they are. There's an old skit I saw of a poetic man who prostituted his talents merely to beg for money. "May I borrow four pound and two?" A Robert Frost who didn't take the road less traveled. A life misdirected.

I want to sing my song to the world and heal it. I also want the world to die, die, die. I don't fear people finding out I hate this world. They hate it too. I fear them finding out I've lost everything: my heart, my soul, my life, my dreams and my Debby - your worst nightmare come true. And that yet in all this I still find moments of happiness in life. Life has more to offer than you think.

After all, I did get to meet Debby, and that girl could sing!

Seeping mystery;
Pitiless time is God's thief-
Wow, helluva moon!



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