Pssst! I Got Their Playbook!

Sometimes there's nothing scarier than a janitor with a brain. He'll pick you apart and expose you from the inside. The problem with professional liars is they always have a blind spot: they think lying makes them smart. It's an inescapable Achilles heel. Using this blind spot ("Yessah, boss! You's is real smart, boss! Can I's clean yo trash?"), I was able to infiltrate the offices of our country's greatest enemy. Yup, they're pretty dumb at the White House.

No one wants to think bad things of their Daddy-President. But the truth shall set us - and him - free. My job was to find the proof of prevarication. Most people would not know of its existence, but Big Lie campaigns like this White House has instituted need a playbook, a way to keep all conspirators on the same page. Strangely enough I found it right out in the open, on the desk in the Oval Office. Spirits have been sagging around here lately so I guess they were using it for a come-to-Satan meeting for the troops.

As I started reading it I smirked and nodded my head as I recognized some of my very own tactics:

The primary rules are: never allow the public to cool off; never admit a fault or wrong; never concede that there may be some good in your enemy; never leave room for alternatives; never accept blame; concentrate on one enemy at a time and blame him for everything that goes wrong; people will believe a big lie sooner than a little one; and if you repeat it frequently enough people will sooner or later believe it.

The cover read: "Playbook for Pimping da People." I was absolutely giddy as I made my way out the building with the evidence. At last I could prove to the world what I had known for so long! These traitors would be exposed once and for all and the dark cloud of deception lifted. Remove the tumor and start the healing. But then I remembered: no one's interested in the truth. They just believe what they want. So I threw the playbook into the river and watched it float downstream. Anyone who wants to know the truth can know it already. No wonder they left it out...