"Hi! I'm shit!"

Janitor Man hated his job, hated his life, hated himself - pretty much hated everything. And he definitely hated meeting new people. The new receptionist was working late and he had already altered his routine once to avoid her. But now he was trapped, only her trash remained.

Steeling himself, he approached the unmet enemy. Maybe he could just get away with a swapping of Hi's. God, I hate being civil, he thought. I hope there's no friggin' eye contact. Was an exchange of silence too much to hope for? Her perkiness did not bode well. Sure enough, she got off the first shot.

"Hi! I'm shit!"

Stunned - and uncomfortable - Janitor Man staggered back out a "Hi". She sensed his reluctance to speak.

"It's OK. You don't have to treat me like other people. I'm shit!"

For God's sake stop saying that! Jesus! Shit! Unnerved, Janitor Man struggled to keep his hand from shaking. At all costs, she must not see his consternation - the implications were disastrous. He would attempt a graceful exit.

"OK. Nice to meet you. Bye"

"You don't want to talk to me because I'm a girl."

I don't want to talk to you because you're a goddam freak! "Nah, it's just that I got so much work to do."

"Girls are shit. I see it in all the movies."

"Well, you can't believe everything you see." Maybe I can help this chick. Not really my place, though.

"Oh, it's true! And it's very exciting! My husband puts me in my place. I'm a dumb ol' girl! He sure knows how to humiliate me!"

"Must be true love," seethed the Janitor Man.

"Oh, yes. Just this last weekend we went paddle boating together. It was so romantic. Then we came home and he fucked me in the ass while I barked!"

"A marriage to be proud of."

"Marriage is holy. I truly believe that with all my heart. And I have been saved by Jesus. I'm lucky. My Daddy teaches religion and I love my Bible so. There's nothing more important to me than being a good person."

Janitor Man hated her. "Well, it's all so perfect. Perfect marriage, perfect life, perfect person."

"Oh, no," she demured, "I'm not perfect at all. There's always been this problem. I sell myself short; I don't give myself enough credit."

Suddenly, she was vulnerable. For the first time Janitor Man noticed an inner beauty within her, a dear person. "What if I said to you..." Her downcast eyes rose to look up into his. "What if I said you are a beautiful, sensitive and intelligent person. That's there's something unique and special about you."

"I'm NOT intelligent!" Her eyes shot back down.

Instinctively, Janitor Man stepped back, his heart pounding by the perceived rebuke. Had he done wrong? He defended his position to the last. "I see a dream in you. A dream not fulfilled."

"I am living my dream. Don't tell me what my life is. My husband wants me to be shit. My parents expect me to be shit. And the world likes me to be shit. If you think I'm going to give all that up just so I can say I'm not shit - you're out of your mind!"

Janitor Man hid his shaking hand. Why did she rattle him so?? She was the one acting insane and yet he felt stripped of all dignity. Meekly, he launched his last salvo before swearing never to talk to her again. (But he did and found his soul mate)

"Huh, so this is what it's like to be saved."