After meeting Her
He no longer has a future
Of life without Her
He no longer has a future
Of life without Her
After meeting Her
He no longer has a future
Of himself with Her
He no longer has a future
Of himself with Her
Sunday, October 29, 2023
Friday, October 27, 2023
Why I Hate Jews And Niggers
Losers of the world unite!
Soooo? What was her response??
You sure you want to hear this?
Of course! More than anything in the world!
She said she 'wants no part of your sick, twisted, pathetic existence'.
There's more.
She said 'under no possible circumstances is your life of any concern of hers whatsoever.'
There's more.
She said 'any further contact whether directly or indirectly she will pursue all legal avenues both civil and criminal.'
There's more.
She said your 'baseless, ridiculous delusions must cease immediately and going forward you are a non-person upon this planet.'
Do you have any response?
I hate Jews. And niggers.
Response recorded.
You sure you want to hear this?
Of course! More than anything in the world!
She said she 'wants no part of your sick, twisted, pathetic existence'.
There's more.
She said 'under no possible circumstances is your life of any concern of hers whatsoever.'
There's more.
She said 'any further contact whether directly or indirectly she will pursue all legal avenues both civil and criminal.'
There's more.
She said your 'baseless, ridiculous delusions must cease immediately and going forward you are a non-person upon this planet.'
Do you have any response?
I hate Jews. And niggers.
Response recorded.
********
I didn't know she was Jewish.
She's not.
Or Black.
She's not.
Then I don't get your response!
Because my life is completely fucking ruined. Somebody has to pay. Not gonna be me!
You're one of those guys that voted to kill Jesus, aren't you?
Tuesday, October 24, 2023
Brenda McNeal: Wanted ALIVE
The death of Brenda McNeal made national news as the housewife turned late-in-life hyper-fierce anti-abortion critic was finally silenced. Her urgent pleas were legendary for their passion and conviction as someone who just knew abortion as a wrong. While many were those who lionized and lauded her, none knew the origin of her crusade, a crusade which Brenda often described as "life and death!"
*******
In the post-apocalyptic ruins of her dreams she scavenges for scraps of life among her landfills of decay; her struggle a silent hunger she can not escape.
Her unadmitted agony drives her forward like a lost wanderer in a seascape of snow who knows that however tired to stop is to die.
Her caged marriage entangles her in a viper's nest of lies where nothing is deemed more forbidden than freedom.
To end her travails she fantasizes of a wolf to ravage her, leaving her to die a tragic victim; a blameless sort.
Crying robotic tears she prays for death but death does not come.
To the world she's willing to donate anything except herself; Pyrrhic hope begs her to the idea of victimless crime.
Only when her defeat is complete does she find victory.
But art director Heinrich, the twice-divorced émigré from Holland, connected with her eyes in a way she thought long lost.
After year upon year of drudging through hellish muck with its hideous smells and heartbreaking horror, has she found a scrap of life at last?
They speak on issues across the board but the subject is always the same: each other.
Sweet water of hope rushes in as if through a broken dam, a reviving transfusion into her embalmed existence.
I never thought I could be wanted again! How I miss this feeling!
Tremors of desire shake her world in volcanic torment, she nightly gripping the side of her bed to prevent telltale tossing and turning.
Can I even step out of the cage at this point? Is it too late? Does only a fool reveal a Wasted Life?
She faced a Decision: to grow the newborn relationship or abort. The Choice she made left her in abandoned terror at the bottom of a lost well.
And for this she famously screamed bloody hell the rest of her life in electoral deceit.
Wednesday, October 18, 2023
Compound Fracture
"So where's the fun in that?" she texted.
This fissure of a comment wedged into his mind like a siren call.
He had immediately dismissed it as "devil talk" and laughed with the surety of a never-to-be-opened door.
But if he was so right, why did something so obviously wrong stick in his craw?
For the full 20 years of his existence he'd spent life in the Compound. He'd heard horror stories of life on the outside: stories of war, famine, and decay.
Why ever leave? As he'd heard from birth: "The Compound way is the Only Way!"
So where's the fun in that?
Such an idiotic statement! Who'd find fun in a cruel world? Everyone in the Compound agreed! It's an axiom of life.
He'd been warned of "Outsiders" who'd have him give up paradise for purgatory. Insanity!
Then one night, a voice - from inside or out he could not tell - punctured his paradise found: "This place is your prison."
Not another night did he sleep in peace. He wondered at the faces of his fellow Compounders, as if mocking him. He feared a wrongness within.
The only cure would be to step outside the Compound, reassure his convictions, and return to paradise stronger than ever!
This fissure of a comment wedged into his mind like a siren call.
He had immediately dismissed it as "devil talk" and laughed with the surety of a never-to-be-opened door.
But if he was so right, why did something so obviously wrong stick in his craw?
For the full 20 years of his existence he'd spent life in the Compound. He'd heard horror stories of life on the outside: stories of war, famine, and decay.
Why ever leave? As he'd heard from birth: "The Compound way is the Only Way!"
So where's the fun in that?
Such an idiotic statement! Who'd find fun in a cruel world? Everyone in the Compound agreed! It's an axiom of life.
He'd been warned of "Outsiders" who'd have him give up paradise for purgatory. Insanity!
Then one night, a voice - from inside or out he could not tell - punctured his paradise found: "This place is your prison."
The only cure would be to step outside the Compound, reassure his convictions, and return to paradise stronger than ever!
***
My God! That smell! What is that? I've never felt so alive!
Further and further he ran into the open field exploding with the infinity of Nature. This was a Good Without End, something even the compound had never seen.
He ran back to spread the Word, finding an old friend as gatekeeper, he told all.
"I'm not sorry. I don't know you. You speak with the deliberate ambiguity of a devil."
A devil! In all his lauded life he'd never been called that! Then in the traces of his tears, the gatekeeper sang a song as a forever ban:
That's a strange way
For me to say I love you,
When my sorrow is all you can see.
If I just want to cry to somebody
Don't cry to you.
For me to say I love you,
When my sorrow is all you can see.
If I just want to cry to somebody
Don't cry to you.
Can I Go Now?
Her friend Sunny on the left.
Her name is Tisa, a nurse so irresistible she'd turn Liberace straight. She's every male's living fantasy: good looking, aggressive, bold. Everybody wants her.
And the only way I can meet someone like her is by lying in this hospital bed.
Don't get me wrong, she is a passionate and dedicated nurse, serious about her work. But having a purpose to her life is just one more thing that separates us.
Yet she's not all I'm thinking about with this godawful downtime to muse on the sum total of idiocy in my life. I'm thinking about how I got here in the first place.
I got knifed.
Some lunatic, like a wild animal with an impacted tooth, sliced me and three others on Akard street. I heard the commotion coming but stubbornly refused to move.
I'm so fucking tired of having to react to every damn shit event in this world. But being tired of shit doesn't make you exempt from its consequences.
I don't even know if the cops captured the maniac.
But this is my life stranded on the streets. This is what I'm subject to. No wonder so many worlders want to hide behind security gates.
She sees every life as important and valuable. She will suffer no protest on that score.
At the point in my life where I most want to die she ignites a desire to live - a dangerous thing for the emotionally imprisoned.
She doesn't see my shame, only my potential. She knows not of my legendary negativity and lost opportunities, only my inherent worth.
What version of me could ever be with her?
Maybe I was meant to meet her just so I can realize how over my life is: doomed to die alone in the streets.
False hope is something I use to muddle through the day even as it perpetuates my misery. I sabotage all chances, so what difference does it make?
The room is dark. I scribble by the light of my phone. Shadows pass by in the gap beneath the hallway door. I hear alien voices and laughter; no place for me.
Can I go now?
Tuesday, October 17, 2023
I Read My News Today, Oh Boy
"Everyone's telling me it is what it isn't."
Monday, October 02, 2023
Five Alarm Fire
Not that he tries to be - he just is.
Worse yet, his lunacy flows seamlessly into the insanity of the times, giving it a veneer of acceptability.
We went to the same day labor job once. I remember it well as the sun kept popping through the humid clouds as if we'd stepped under a heat lamp.
I wrote down beforehand the license plate of the asshole in charge and, sure enough, he took off without paying.
I told Henry for 25 bucks we could look up the guy's address. But he didn't care. Said he must not of deserved the money.
That was a five alarm fire to me. Others said leave him be if that's what he wants.
But in these times - where the list of things unfaced expands daily like air in a balloon, where fear of words that can be heard riddles the soul like bullet holes, where the weight of a doomed future swallows sad hearts - to many silence is truly golden, a nonthreatening treasure not to be questioned.
So I wasn't surprised when I heard Henry launched a brick into some girl's car windshield. He'd been panhandling off 635 and she refused to oblige him. I guess Henry felt that was money he did deserve.
I walk around, I see so many five alarm fires I realize there's not enough firemen to put them out even if we were to try. Have you noticed no one ever says, "All bad things must come to an end."
But we will.
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