Two men jump off a building.
On the way down one says to the other, "How's it going?"
"So far so good!" he replies.
*****
Two men jump off a building.
On the way down one says to the other, "Hey, I think we fucked up!"
"I'd appreciate you not using that kind of language around me."
"Why, thank you! That's an important topic considering our present situation."
*****
Two men jump off a building.
One realizes they're wearing parachutes. "Hey, do you think we should open our chutes?"
"No! Then we'd have to admit we did something stupid in the first place and people would laugh and make fun of us."
"Don't you think it would be worse if we hit the concrete and die wearing unopened chutes??"
****************************************************************
Here's the rewrite after thinking about it more:
Two men jump off a building.
On the way down first one says to the other, "How's it going?"
"So far so good!" replies the second.
Noticing the oncoming concrete, the first says, "Hey, I think we fucked up!"
"I'd appreciate you not using that kind of language around me."
"Why, thank you! That's an important topic considering our present situation."
"What situation? You sound like one of those negative nabobs."
"You sound like one of those dimwit deniers."
"Do I look dead to you? You should learn to be more appreciative of what you have. Right now, give me a list of ten things you're happy about or everyone will will know what an ingrate you are! Number one for me is we're having beautiful weather today."
First one realizes they're wearing parachutes. "Hey, don't you think we should open our chutes?"
"No! Then we'd have to admit we did something stupid in the first place and people would laugh and make fun of us."
"Don't you think it would be worse if we hit the concrete and die wearing unopened chutes??"
"I refuse to live my life at the mercy of so-called reality. Facts are for losers. I make my own facts."
"History will speak ill of you!"
"I'm a winner not a whiner - and winners write history! I ask you again, do I look dead to you?? You can't win this argument long as I'm alive!"
The first one pulled his rip cord, rocketing upward to salvation. The second one hit the concrete in instantaneous death.
"Well, I guess he won the argument if not his life."
On the way down one says to the other, "How's it going?"
"So far so good!" he replies.
*****
Two men jump off a building.
On the way down one says to the other, "Hey, I think we fucked up!"
"I'd appreciate you not using that kind of language around me."
"Why, thank you! That's an important topic considering our present situation."
*****
Two men jump off a building.
One realizes they're wearing parachutes. "Hey, do you think we should open our chutes?"
"No! Then we'd have to admit we did something stupid in the first place and people would laugh and make fun of us."
"Don't you think it would be worse if we hit the concrete and die wearing unopened chutes??"
****************************************************************
Here's the rewrite after thinking about it more:
Two men jump off a building.
On the way down first one says to the other, "How's it going?"
"So far so good!" replies the second.
Noticing the oncoming concrete, the first says, "Hey, I think we fucked up!"
"I'd appreciate you not using that kind of language around me."
"Why, thank you! That's an important topic considering our present situation."
"What situation? You sound like one of those negative nabobs."
"You sound like one of those dimwit deniers."
"Do I look dead to you? You should learn to be more appreciative of what you have. Right now, give me a list of ten things you're happy about or everyone will will know what an ingrate you are! Number one for me is we're having beautiful weather today."
First one realizes they're wearing parachutes. "Hey, don't you think we should open our chutes?"
"No! Then we'd have to admit we did something stupid in the first place and people would laugh and make fun of us."
"Don't you think it would be worse if we hit the concrete and die wearing unopened chutes??"
"I refuse to live my life at the mercy of so-called reality. Facts are for losers. I make my own facts."
"History will speak ill of you!"
"I'm a winner not a whiner - and winners write history! I ask you again, do I look dead to you?? You can't win this argument long as I'm alive!"
The first one pulled his rip cord, rocketing upward to salvation. The second one hit the concrete in instantaneous death.
"Well, I guess he won the argument if not his life."
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