Sunday, February 09, 2020

The Day The Plumber Came Over


Nobody's going to believe my story - everyone has gotten everything so twisted at this point there's no getting the truth out through all the confusion anyway, so I'll just plow right ahead regardless in as concise fashion as I can. I will admit, though, it's hard to believe the downfall of a nation started with a busted sink.

He was supposed to be good. He promised he was the greatest plumber ever. He lived in a big house with fancy cars so he must be doing something right I (wrongly) assumed. Little did I know then that his father had bailed him out of bankruptcy six times and none of his cash was his own. Still, why would someone be so absolutely hellbent on being proclaimed a great plumber without some sort of ability to be so? Again, I (wrongly) reasoned he couldn't be a total fraud making his many extreme boasts.

He shows up with three helpers just for my little sink which made me scratch my head but it wasn't until later I realized that was part of his "distract and confuse" campaign he conducts 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I mean, who thought anyone could be so absurdly pathetic? But the plumber was counting on that. It's not until the smoke clears the homeowner has any idea what's really going on. And in my fucking case, that's a literal fucking statement.

First I hear this bitter bickering between the plumber and his helpers who demand he should fix it one way while the plumber wants to do it another way (he knows only one way whether it works or not). Finally, the helpers storm off in disgust ("The bastard hasn't paid us anyway") but the plumber severely badmouths them as "incompetent morons". This was also part of my education process: that the plumber always accuses others of his own sins. I should have cut ties then and there but I still wanted to believe in him and I thought it curious his workers complained of not being paid when I'd seen with my own eyes the plumber's wealth. He has no reason not to pay!


I do remember thinking: "If he's so smart and his helpers so dumb, why did he hire them in the first place?" But the plumber had a way of constantly bombarding you with chaos that never allows logic to take hold. I knew something was wrong, I just couldn't place it. But the plumber knew. That rat bastard knew before he got there he was no good. At that time I couldn't comprehend the amount of evil within. This loser would go to any length to have the world think he's a great plumber. It was life and death for him!

He says for me to relax in the living room as I hear him clanking around in the kitchen taking what seemed to me an inordinate amount of time. He kept giving me updates on his "progress" and how the original plumbers were no good and now I was in good hands and my sink would be "best in the world" when he was done. In my naivete I chuckled at his ridiculous statements and promised myself never to hire him again once I got my simple issue resolved. But that chance never came as we now well know.

I jumped out of the chair at the first smell of smoke. As I made it to the now abandoned kitchen I heard the plumber's van screeching away as I actually felt the explosion beneath my sink as it blew up. By the time the fire department was done the majority of my house had burned down and I was dumbfounded in a state of shock as to what actually just happened. Surely I didn't run into the biggest monster in the world, did I?

In retrospect, why yes, I did!

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was getting elected."

It was like I had won the anti-lottery. Of all the people I could have called in the world to fix my sink, I not only get a retard but a psychopath to boot! The fire chief showed me the burned out shell of a gas can beneath my sink, asking me how it got there. I explained to him about the plumber working on it and he said that plumber belonged in jail for the rest of his life. I did not disagree. He was clearly trying to cover up his inabilities by destroying the scene of his crime. Never in my life had I wanted to kill someone as much as I did that arsonist maniac on the loose.

But I was always one step behind. The monster had already got a story out to the press that I had left a full gas can beneath my sink and when he, the alleged plumber, tries to tell me that was the cause of my problems and I should get rid of it and that when I refused he stormed off due to his not wanting to lower his "ethical standards". I was aghast when reporters asked me about this accusation, bewildered how this could even be happening. But in the following days, already 50% of the country believed the plumber's story over mine!

I got affidavits from the three helpers as to what really happened but the plumber called them "outright liars" in the strongest possible terms and "losers who will say anything to protect their reputation." But that's exactly what the monster was doing! How could anyone not see that?? Next I got a lawsuit for leaving a bad review online about the plumber so others would not fall into the same nightmare I had. And then I hear these "complaints" about my so-called "lack of civility" from these crazed hypocrites over my justified outrage at this motherfucker burning down my house to cover up his own inadequacies!


"That poor man. He's been so wronged. People need to wake up and not tolerate this sort of behavior. I know I for one will not!" You know who said that? Some wacko defending the plumber after I voiced my complaints on TV. This nutjob made me out to be perpetrator of burning down my own house and when asked why I would do such a thing he quotes his radical conspiracy theory I had murdered someone and buried a body I needed covering up. The unreality of the situation was mind-numbing.

All I can say is this is certainly a godless world we live in, where truth counts for very little or nothing. Eventually I figured out where the support for the plumber was coming from: they are vicious murderous creeps just like he is. They know perfectly well he does wrong and love more than anything seeing that creep get away with it. It's like there's this whole sea of failures walking around out there aiming to do nothing but blame their victims while these criminals cast themselves as victims. Madness!

So I've stated my story with God as my witness. The political types who call it "divisive" can go fuck themselves too. We need to see who stands with the truth and who does not - nothing overrides that in importance. Love is not the enemy. And our Maker knows we cannot ultimately survive with these destroyers among us. First they will identify themselves, then they will be forever wiped off the face of the planet. God's will be done!

EPILOGUE: It's been over two long insane years and there's nary a neighborhood without at least one burned out carcass of a home. The real nightmare, of course, is the message left to the homes still standing: Do as the arsonists say...or else. The plumber gave rise to a new, more daring wave of evil never seen before. The anarchists walked freely down the streets, mocking their victims, with shirts declaring "Fuck your feelings" and wrapping their arms with phony burn bandages. This will get worse before it gets better.


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