Auto Biography

My destiny was for the finest -

but I often chose otherwise

I was born an American in Australia, my father having transferred there just as he had been all over the world. He was a pioneer in computer programming, authoring the Sabre reservation system for American Airlines as one of his accomplishments. His career was cut short, however, as both my parents died in a sightseeing helicopter accident while flying over Australia's famous Outback territory.

And so it was there I was raised by both Aborigines and the slick city streets of bustling Melbourne. A headstrong wild child from the start, whenever I got tired of one I ran to the other, each environment feeding me in its own way. In both places I sought out the spots of uncontrolled chaos that let me feel alive. The Outback offered a freedom I've found nowhere else in the world, as if stepping back to a legendary time where men answered to no one. But I also loved the mythic thrill of the city where anonymous gods roamed the streets and I thrived hanging out in the Bohemian districts growing up.

My foster homes were just another set of buildings far as I was concerned. I had no home. Having read Errol Flynn's autobiography, I decided to follow in his footsteps as much as I could (seemed a noble goal at the time). I was never as athletically gifted as him but I had looks and intelligence, both of which assisted me in my reckless ways as I left the safe confines of Australia to go island hopping about the tropics.

Long story short, wasn't near as glamorous as ol' Errol made it out to be - or rather, as glamorous as I read it to be. I had pictured life as an endless adventure, all one had to do was believe. Problem with being an adrenaline junkie is you reach a dead end where the excitement dies. The glitter of the world faded before my eyes. So I made my way to America, the land of opportunity, like an exotic bird who'd lost his nest and flown into port. Frankly, I had a bad feeling.

I drifted everywhere. Australia was wide open like I love, but the contrasts here are magnificent as you travel from coast to coast. I only made enough money to get by and charmed my way into beds whenever I could. Oh, there were female offers along the way, but my restless heart always searched for "more" while having my breakfast in America. It was a fine time but I knew it too had a shelf life. Then I got hit by the thunderbolt of Debby.

The great unrequited love of my love left me shattered when she moved on (or maybe ran away). Stuck in Miami, I plunged myself into its Sodom and Gomorrah delights, ingratiating myself into the "in" crowd driving fast cars and fast women, all the while longing for the one I'd lost. But at the end of the day I had nothing no matter how well I covered up the hole in my life. I realized I was being political and there's never a future in convincing others but not yourself.

So at 27 I sat down and turned to writing, something I'd sporadically done in my too turbulent youth but had lost along the way. That's when I wrote my masterpiece of the struggle for love and life's true promise. This gave me some fame but of course it was the film I made of the book that launched me to superstardom. I'd seen the world from both the top and bottom as few ever had. What poured forth was the last traces of hope in this dying world. But no matter how great thy art, it's always only half the answer.

So this where I've been and this is what I've done, from the lowest of valleys to the highest of mountaintops, it's been a wild ride and I'm ready to leave the world to itself. Mr Bond is no longer available to save you. I'm all alone now, everyone else has left.

Mankind's Survival Is Not Economically Viable

This is the dirty secret the world wants to hide (at least until it's too late, anyway). We see the well-fed and insulated talking heads drone on and on basically always saying the same thing at the end of the day: "Things have to stay the way they are." You can say the world needs to be changed, issues need to be addressed, or any other sort of disclaimers you choose - just so long as you always end with this: "Things have to stay the way they are."

Well, I say this: "Go poop on yourself."

Nothing is business, it's all personal. You see, the welfare of me and mine is VERY personal. Oh, I know we've invented all sorts of "reasons" for our dog-eat-dog existence but none of them are real. We basically just want an excuse to act in an evil manner and call it "being responsible". I hear it every day, goofball motherfuckers talking shit always afraid people are going to wake up and demand a fair world.

Well, don't think there's much chance of that happening. But evil runs even when no one is chasing, and thus feel possessed to "defeat" the enemies in their mind. And as it's in our imagination that things have to stay the way they are, this is where the roots of our destruction reside. This manifests itself in "numbers" (666) and that's how we express our fairy tales. "Sorry, [you can't have a job], [can't stop polluting], [fill in the blank for idiocy]. The numbers won't allow it." Complete, total, and utter garbage.

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The reality is we should fear not changing more than changing. But so far there's no evidence we're interested in self-preservation. Want to poison us? Fine, go ahead! Want to rape the planet and starve our children? Meh! Want to tell me my football team is going to lose? YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF! Across the universe we are known as "Planet Pervert". Time, though, will purge the liars from among us.

The first order of business in the business of fear is not admitting there's a solution. Hey, if there's no solution we can do whatever we want! There is a solution, of course. It's the good news we reject and the lies we embrace because that makes us feel "safe" as liars. Fat, dumb, and conservative is no way to go through life. The only person that's going to "get you" is you. Get over it!

Everyone can keep on making fools of themselves talking about imaginary economics and imaginary numbers and these imaginary "isms" that exist nowhere but in our head. All the while the things we do in the name of survival are killing us in every sense of the word. So when you come to me with all your economic theories and bullshit philosophy on the "nature of Man" and whatever else unreality you've cooked up, just remember you heard it here first: YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF!

How To Be A Useless Billionaire

Well, I guess I succumbed to the inevitable: I'm a complete fraud. Fuck it. I'm wholly dependent on my money. I have no worth outside of it. I tire of the struggle to be otherwise as the damage done by the loss of the Woman Of Fabric is irreversible. I'm a certified cunt now and my only future is to become an even bigger one.

I can say that here (where no one can or will believe me) but in public that's a different matter. My current occupation such as it is is that of an actor. What role do I play? The one that is expected, of course. I only have one billion while some have multiples of that but I think to the general public once they hear the word "billionaire" we're all lumped in together even though those in this circle do keep score who has the most. Well, that's one game I do refuse to play. But I'm drawn into the rest of the farce.

In my youth I did nothing but spend money and pay only the most scant attention to its presence. And my father actually encouraged that as he saw that as his vengeance against having to dedicate his life to oil wildcatting and the excruciating stress that incurs. His son would never know that and that was fine with me. When I inherited the company I pretty much left it to the managers. I wanted to sell it but I never have out of a sense of guilt. Somehow I think that would make me seem ungrateful.

View from the Virgin bar

But I need some sort of fig leaf that I'm actually doing something with my life. Local boy Mark Cuban has his billions but he still goes great guns looking for deal after deal, soaking up real estate and doing that Shark show (never seen it). I've seen him couple times at the Grapevine Bar and this is not an act for him. Business really is is life. Lord, spare me that! I do not consider making money in and of itself a valid purpose for one's existence.

But I pretend it is as it's such an easy sell to my fellow morons.

I have an answer now for prying eyes as to what I do with my time. "Deals in the works," I vaguely reply. And, hey, sometimes it's true. So billionaire Branson boy brought his Virgin hotel chain to Dallas. But he does this in conjunction with local investors, one of whom is Bill Hutchinson (another billionaire, who heads the Dunhill group). Bill is not your ordinary billionaire so I can actually stand his company as opposed to the uptight corporate types I usually run into. I mean, really, you guys just want to talk about taxes and regulations? Christ, at least try finding a more interesting vice.

The hotel itself is stunning and I'm proud to be associated with it but the payoff for me is not monetary but the fact I can point to something I can sell as a worthwhile endeavor. I can probably ride this for a couple of years - but then I'll need another deal. I admit it is semi-interesting these kind of deals but the guys around me are far more enthusiastic than I am. How do I tell them I'm just killing time and providing cover for my useless life?

Love the Valley House Gallery. Ask to walk the garden!

I have found another time killer and that's exploring art. Been to some great galleries around town and it's quite an adventure. Buddy Bill may be an investor but also has an artsy side to him. That's where the real link is between us, not the personal wealth. Turns out Bill knows the guy down at Griffin Trading where I'd bought stuff in the past. Bill tells me the Griffin guy is an art expert so I've been picking that guy's brain on the art world so I can get a feel for things. I do not, however, want to be known as a "collector". That would imply I actually know what I'm doing.

It's been a fun ride but once you've made the tour through the local galleries, then what? Do I expand to the entire country (or world) in search of new pieces? Do I drop 60 million on a Van Gogh then worry about all the security I'd need to keep it in one of my houses? I don't know how far I can take this. I do admit it's very nice to have had a little direction in my life and I've been lucky with the Virgin project being so cool and also the exploration of local galleries. But I fear I'm reaching another dead end.

At the end of the day I still live in cruel and dreaded fear of this, the most vexing question of all, which hounds me night and day, lashing me onward like a 19th century slave, and bedeviled with loss for a reply: "What do you do for a living?"

Usually I HATE these things but Bill invites some funky people

So if you see me out and about hobnobbing and smiling with the big shots, please don't be taken in. See, unlike in the movies, in real life the worst thing that can happen for an actor is to be successful. Makes me feel like I'm drowning, unable to be heard. Reality is I'm not interested in the scene in which I'm appearing and am dying to be someplace else far, far away. Problem is, I don't know where that place is.

Luke's Letter To The Inmates

Hey, guys! I got to tell you it's great on the outside! Know what I been doing today? Nothing! A whole lot of nothing. Been sitting in a shopping lot just watching. I'm telling you guys, free air smells different, like you can practically taste the hope. Way the sun shining down you'd think the whole world is nothing but wonderful.

Watching free folks go about their business made me feel like I was in a dream so real I could touch it. I always believed in dreams and guess I always will, no matter how wrongheaded that might be. I was like a kid, thinking anything is possible! Wonder why I ever stopped. I try to keep it in but it just keeps popping on out. Don't even have to try, just happens on its own. Sometimes I don't know who I am.

Nothing was the same after the war. Maybe that's how I got offtrack. I tried to forget but that didn't work. Bet the guards didn't forget me driving off in their truck neither! Wish you guys could have been with me today. I just can't stop believing there's more to life than what we seen so far. Just HAS to be!

Luke

Fool's Gold

I mine for gold

My life has meaning!

But filling my heart

Is hell death screaming.

I mine for gold

Wasting light's day;

Rattling victory's chains

I live the 'freedom' way.

I mine for gold

As dreaming hope slides by;

The five o'clock whistle

Heaves a heavy sigh.

I mine for gold

In supported evil rich;

Watching working slaves

Who partner as the bitch.

I mine for gold

A ceaseless endless task;

A fellow inmate pleads:

"What does Sisyphus ask?"

I mine for gold

Deep in dark foul places;

In faint reflection seen

Eyeless forlorn faces.

I mine for gold

Its idolatry is cunning;

From a fortune in feelings

The poor soul is running.

I mine for gold

Forsaking my life's promise;

In yet bitterest complaint

Inescapable the harness.

I mine for gold

To reach lost paradise;

But night's clutching hands

Grip in shivering ice.

I mine for gold

As my deemed utility;

A waterless desert

Thirsting in futility.

I mine for gold

Never the goal is reached;

My fantasy of life

In gasping fatal breach.

I mined for gold

But to what end?

Defeated by

The sunset wind.

To What End?

Ten years ago

the sky had died

Since then I wander lands

A lone samurai

I've seen no one

Been seen by no one

I've not found myself

I was cursed by a Zen Monk's words:

All that will happen already has;

All that has happened is happening now;

What happens now never happens.

I can find no escape

From her shadow world

I built a statue
Of the one I trust,
In daily agony
I watch it rust

I mine for gold

But to what end?

Defeated by

The sunset wind

Who bears the weight

Of a broken sky?

Not I, samurai -

Not I, samurai

Advice Of Counsel

Good thing you came to me because you've made a complete muck of your petition to the Court - a complete muck! And I as a woman am uniquely positioned to help you in ways you as a man could never understand as the Court itself is also a woman and must be dealt with using certain sensitivities without which you would not be heard nor understood nor even received. Yes, you have proven yourself wise to place yourself in my custody and relieve yourself of this burden you've been carrying for far too long. How distressful this must have been for you! No one can make it alone in life nor should be expected to.
And if you wish not to be alone, I have a plan for that.
Running away is never objective, also you're then subject to all sorts of unfounded allegations and endless rumor mills and irrefutable assumptions no matter how inaccurate, and you'll find yourself answering for crimes you never committed - nor intended to commit - but your accusers know full well you will not face them so they feel free to fantasize the most outlandish of transgressions and thereby gain a hold over you which they believe to be to their benefit but that too is false because we are all in this together and for one to do well we must all do well and that law can never be violated under any circumstances.
For if you wish no violation, I have a plan for that.
I read here of your strong and sometimes overwhelming desire to hang yourself which is understandable having previously betrayed the Court in a truly irrational and maniacal manner. Yes, it is horrible to be a bad man - it's nothing at all like in the movies, singing and dancing your way down the stairs all the while forlorn for the love and understanding we are born to seek. I, of course, understand fear, as it has happened to me, only thankfully, I did not react in the foolishly zealous fashion you did that has put you in your currently dire quandary. No, deciding to hang yourself is never the answer. Only the Court can demand that.
So if you wish for a sentence to live, I have a plan for that.
So what is it you're hiding? Is there any valid reason for it - or can there ever be a reason not be free? You state you do not wish for the Court to see you as you are but in concealing this do you not also hide the brilliance of the Light inherent in every soul? You claim yours is a truth not to be tolerated but what besides the truth can save you? You lied to the Court to gain the Court's favor feeling it could not be gotten otherwise, and even though this is a so-called legal proceeding we know that all things in life come down to personal relationships. I can't imagine the point of vainly struggling against the inevitable and inexorable fate of revelation from which no soul is excluded.
But if you wish to be free, I have a plan for that.
Yes, I must take your gold but it's only so that I may survive because my survival is needed in order to help you. Like a lifeguard who brings in a drowning man among hardened dock piers, I must keep you between me and the piers so that I may not be smashed into them by ferocious waves because as you know if something happens to me, your rescuer, then we both die. This is just a circumstance of the world we live in and your understanding of this is vital. I do know there are many who make this same claim under the guise of helping you while swindling you and that is certainly the most horrific of betrayals!
Rest assured, if you wish no such swindling, I have a payment plan for that.
Some realities, of course, cannot be helped. If you jump off a thousand foot building with only concrete below then your death is certain regardless of even the most favorable of legal rulings. While falling, it's easy to fall into a state of despair and have your stubborn pride tell you all will be fine and therefore not look to see if you have a parachute attached, or worse you could listen to false supporters who praise your decision as perfect which convinces you of no need to use your parachute, or even worse you give into guilt at having betrayed the Court and deceive yourself into believing that can be mended by betraying yourself and that too will cause you to fail to pull the ripcord.

So, obviously, there can be no plan for that.

Do You Know An Expert?

Only for us winners!

See, there's like this shooter video game and I go into like God-mode and then like no one and nothing can kill me! Totally awesome. You got monsters and snipers and giant spiders and everything after you but they always lose. They so dumb it funny! I'm like wiping them out all over the place.

I see these other guys playing and getting shot and killed like all the time. Hilarious! I told them I'm expert-god-superman and never get killed. They not believe me. Sooo jealous! I got skillz they only dreaming about not even knowing of God-mode ultra secret that only us geniuses can know. I'm part of elite special forces group kicking ass in the universe. We know best!

What really funny is these libtards dying for no reason! Can you believe it?? Them knowing about God-mode but choosing on their own not to use it. What kind of crazy nuts is that? There's dumb and then there's just plain ol' retards. Hard to imagine what some people thinking sometimes. They just gotta think they better then everyone else! But they only kidding themselves, haha!!

I was talking with my cool supersmart friends other night and we was saying how like the Nazis actually was really winning the war and only why they lost is they stopped fighting. Just keep on doing it! I never quit when I in God-mode - like not ever! That what make me the best. It just like these retards crying over environment and fires and crap like that. Losers! Just go on and have a good time! If you be a winner then nothing to worry about!

When you so good they have to change law to keep you out!!

I'm just shaking my head wondering why I even got to explain this stuff. So obvious!! Do you people just want to lose?? Is that it? Must be! I win every time. Experts like us are laughing at you morons behind your backs. You just got no sense of sense. It's like you got no idea what real is. Sorry, can't help you! Just going to have to find out for yourselves! Don't be crying to me when things not work out like you dummies think!!

That why I like the President so much. We the same! He expert on everything! It's like, so amazing! Can you hear him talking? He knows everything about everything! Stupid libtards always so angry cause they always wrong! Just like when they get mad when they get killed in videos. It their own fault!! It your own fault when you not agree with greatest President of all your time! He just gonna make everything better and better and better.

It's good to be a winner. I totally like debates because I'm always right! Most people throw up hands and get mad and run away cause they can't take it! Hilarious! When you walk around knowing nothing thinking you knowing something - that why you getting mad! Actually, that what screwing up the whole world! Thank God-mode there still some of us knowing what is what. Rest of you losers, deserve what you get - no matter how bad it is. You're own fault!

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