I Wants Ta Shoot Me Sum Niggers

"I wants ta shoot me sum niggers." Fred then pretended to have a second thought as if he'd had a first. "Actualike, I's like to shoot me all dem niggers!"

"Sir! Sir!" A left-wing young man in a proper suit but not so proper as to be improper but proper enough to be respectable while at the same time hip enough to appeal to youthful voters while still garnering the praise of the older generation in power came running down the street in dire need of correction. "Sir, I must tell you you cannot say that word!"

"What ewe on about, boy? I can sez me any werd I wants!"

"Sir, the fate of the nation depends on it. Your politics must be correct! So please stop saying that word."

"Ya mean 'shoots'? Heck, ben saying that all me life. Ben doin' it two!"

"Oh, no, sir. I am not here to chastise gun ownership in any way nor am I here to threaten your gun rights or to take your guns or revile gun owners in a manner insensitive to your sensibilities. I'm referring to the other word you said."

"Well, heck, that all ya wants I can say 'hang'. I wants me to hang all the niggers! Fine wit me I never see 'nother live won rest of me life! You's right, kid, hanging more fun than shootin' anywayz."

"I'm sorry with the greatest of apologies and mean no disrespect to your ideology or spiritual beliefs, but I must point out you're showing an insensitivity to the heritage of slavery suffered by the segment of the population to which you are referring and the preferred term to be used is 'African-American'."

"Shit, sun, I knows them niggers is from Africa! Like you's tellin' me sumpthin."

"Sir, I'm not meaning to imply any ignorance on your part as I'm sure you're well-educated and quite sublime in your own way, but the correct phrasing is "I want to shoot some African-Americans" if we are to have civil discourse in this country of ours."

"Ewe wants me to talk like sum pansee librul! That jess ain't Americana!"

"I can say this, sir: I'm authorized to give you this genuine bottle of moonshine in a gesture of gritty pragmatism and a fearless facing of reality as it is."

"I's fresh outta moonshine! And iffen I gits it free I'll sez shit wot ewe wants anytime. So hear goes: 'I wants tuh shoots me all dem African-Americans deader then a doornail.' How's dat suit ya?"

"Thank you, sir! And God bless you! Only through polite and civil discourse can we reach common ground and resolve our differences. There's simply too much anger for things to continue the way they are."

"Tell me about it! Cant say nuttin nowadayz without crazee folks gettin' all upsets and yellin' and callin' ya names!"

"I agree, sir. The name calling must stop. It does not help a cause to point out your genocidal tendencies in an impolite manner."

"Well, good! If you's gonna get dem leftees to calm da hell down when I's talkin' 'bout shootin' folks ewe dang rite we gonna git along better. Dat way we can have dem civil talks ewe talkin' about and be rite proper and correct jess like ya sez - rite up to tha point I puts a bullit in there head!"