Goupil Papers: One Hit Wonder

[Found among the papers of international assassin Goupil after his death by self-inflicted wound.]

Some men not known to history but their historic deeds are. We only know names of assassins we catch. But I wish to chronicle these men who share my profession. I do this even though I feel I have no profession - at least, I don't see assassin as my identity. My identity lost along the way. It start when I leave France then only to find I was running from who I was ever after. As of this writing, I'm still not found.

This story is from 70's era. In this world, hard to know what true but I write this for me and me alone. Maybe this because I feel I Goupil will slip from this earth without being known. The path before me is hidden. I fear what that mean. As this story shows, we live on razor's edge.

Trujillo was regular hit man. Mob guys use him but he not one of them. For special kills mob need outsiders. Trujillo liked being on the outside but he still has pressure of what expected. His target was federal judge. Do that and they will shake the trees to find you until something fall out. Someone somewhere know something. So he didn't want to do this hit but once asked you have to say yes or you become loose end.

Trujillo has panic but gets idea walking New York streets. He sees hobos in park, anonymous men with anonymous lives. They could do anything and no one ever know. Yes, gendarme hate them for being poor but that a good thing. These men don't count. But Trujillo no want to live like bums. So he get idea: get hobo to do killing!

Sound crazy stupid at first but if you think you can see. Hobo does kill, kill hobo, what is left to point to you? Yes, you must be desperate to try that. Setting up another guy cross my mind once or twice. But many things must fall in place for that to work, seem to me. Trujillo starts hanging around park, being a face. He finds a guy. Only God know his name now. Trujillo never tell anyone.

Time was very short. Trujillo plan quick kill in apartment parking garage. Would look like mugger and hobo's body would confuse police. Ten thousand American promised to the hobo. Back then that could change a life, that much. Buy car, start over someplace else. Hobo could get life from death. Trujillo know something else: Bum is homo. Even before killing, this is man who keep secret to himself. Probably shunned by family, living shadow life, perfect.

But Trujillo forget who he is. Assassins always outsider nobodies. We are part of nothing. Hard to remember that as watching families go by knowing that can never be you. It like falling in the air not knowing if you land. You want to be somebody too. I'm sure idiot Trujillo was thinking he finally find bigger loser than him. Gay loser bum everyone scorn and disavow. I can see this appeal. Trujillo play role of authority, the one in charge of person to be throwaway.

But homo hobo still a person. Yes, he spend lifetime learning to hide in shadows and lie. But by staying alive he step outside what others speak of him. If not, he eat a bullet. He become cunning creature answering only to himself. You see, that's psychological advantage assassin has: easy to read others when they follow rules and you do not. But hobo follow even less rules than Trujillo.

So when time come to shoot judge, hobo shoot Trujillo instead. But judge spot him doing this so judge gets it too. That hella mystery for police when bullet from Trujillo gun not match bullet in judge! Later on many years, rat tell cops mob hire Trujillo. Papers never print bullet not match so they know rat telling the truth. No one left to explain third person, though. Hobo take the money and run.

Wish I could say what happened in the end. No one even know how this story come to be told, maybe Trujillo have partner. Story just "known." Hobo killer have makings of great assassin. But I do not think he go that way. I think he go cross country, buy a house and visit parks at night. He discover world not holy and pure as it say and he not worthless like they say. He probably become respectable executive - but always smiling to himself.

But Trujillo is lesson for me. If cop reading this go fuck yourself. I don't want to die by cop hand. I don't think they any better than me. Politicians worse killers of all! Their feet leave ground and they do anything never have to touch down again. Stupid peoples can't see through them mean they just as bad. I had to face these things and it is heavy load. But I always know I'm bad man too, never better than them. And never good enough for one I want.