"Oh no she di'int!"
"Yes, she did! She told me she's been living off another man's feelings for her for years."
"Oh no she di'int!"
"He said he loved her, that she was his fantasy, his dream, his other half. She was who he was looking for his whole life. But she didn't say nothin' back."
"Oh no she di'int!"
"But he made her feel beautiful and excited and worthy inside so she held onto those feelings and puts them in her marriage cuz her husband didn't give her none of those feelings!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"Whenever she wanted to be happy she just thought back to the fantasy guy and pretended he was going to ring the doorbell any moment and whisk her away!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"She thought she was really clever there for a while finding a way to be happy in an unhappy marriage but it only dug the hole deeper. She planned on doin' it forever."
"Oh no she di'int!"
"So she does nothing to make her real marriage work exceptin' what looks good in pictures, making all sunshiney and shit at family reunions and mosts of all tricking the kids on how much in love she is."
"Oh no she di'int!"
"But that memory got weaker every day and she never gets to feeling better, just worse, so she dives into eatin' cuz nothin' else makes her feel good. She ate 42 Tootsie Rolls in a row!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"Then the harder it is pretending her husband is the fantasy man harder it is for her to let him touch her. He gets mad and calls her "fat cow!" and she says she don't care cuz she already got her children out and don't no one gotta touch her anymore nohow!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"Then she tells him if he's ever unfaithful to her she's gonna divorce his ass right into the ground and take the kids, the house and all his money she can!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"She tells him his banker job is not even real, it's all made up in his head and they pay him money for nothing and says he better find some art in his life and she she don't mean the art of lyin'!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"So he asks her if this is all about that fantasy guy that lives in her head because she'll never be good enough for true love because she doesn't want to face up to what a mess she's made of her life and she'd rather have security than happiness and maybe they should discuss all this with her Bible college parents. But all she says is she ain't gonna be no hooker for him!"
"Oh no she di'int!"
"Now she can't sleep nights at all and just lays on the couch all day till someone comes home, saving her energy for pretending everything's OK and she's June Cleaver but later that night she goes in the bathroom and throws up her whole meal while the kids watchin' TV in the next room."
"Oh no she di'int!"
"I never see anyone so upset. She livin' like a 24 hour heart attack every day and her face and hair are melting but she said only thing she's going to do about it is keep on lying."
"Oh no she di'int!"
"Yes, she did. She told me everything. Hard to believe anyone can get themselves in a spot like that and not know they best come clean."
"So why she tellin' you all this now?"
"Guess she's feeling so guilty 'n' scared 'n' horrified she wasted her whole life and now got no place left to go."
[long silence]
"I wouldn't know nothin' about anything like that."
"Neither would I."
She's hurting more than she lets on.
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