Texas Tea, Black Gold and The End Of The Rainbow

Legend materializes into reality

Anyone who thinks you can't reach the pot of gold at end of the rainbow has never had his own gusher come in, spewing money and power into your pocket in unbelievable magnitude. Money may be the craven image of wood we worship, but oil is the power behind the throne. The orgasmic joy of an oil strike is unique in all the world. And unlike other religions, there is none who question oil worship. Oil is a god, and by authoring its finding, you too become a god.

A great book has recently been published on this subject, detailing the four great oil fortunes of Texas and the ramifications of uber wealth. Written by Brian Burrough, who - if you remember the merger-mania of the 80's - also wrote "Barbarians At The Gate" regarding the RJR/Nabisco takeover battle, the biggest ever at the time. He's back now with "The Big Rich", detailing the rise and fall Texas' greatest fortunes. It's fascinating reading and one can't have a true understanding of the political mindset of today without realizing the role oil has played in this country.

To quote the jacket:

Known in their day as the Big Four, Roy Cullen, H.L. Hunt, Clint Murchison, and Sid Richardson were all from modest backgrounds, and all became patriarchs of the richest and most influential oil families in Texas - the states' equivalent of royalty. Along with their peers, they shifted wealth and power in America both south and west, largely bankrolling the rise of modern conservatism, and sending three of their states [worthless] native sons to the White House. As a class they became known as the Big Rich, and together they created a new legend in America - the swaggering Texas oil tycoon who owns private islands, sprawling ranches, and perhaps a football team or two, and mingles with presidents and Hollywood stars.

Just not the same on a Honda

I grew up in an oil town, a place where a chosen few of my peers had careers mapped out for them consisting of merely endorsing royalty checks for life. It was a place where sprawling ranches still represented sprawling power and tales of extravagance and debauchery continue to this day (just ask about my two very hot classmates who fucked the oil tycoon like crazy in exchange for high dollar gifts - until his wife found out and she took control of his company). Oil money, you see, is the ultimate Free Ride and it intoxicates you here in Texas with a culture that's easy to deride, but once you have known the smell of unlimited power in your nostrils, you'll find that irresistible call within you as well. Oil is the Holy Grail of the secular world.

Oil is also the lifeblood of the world, pervading more products than you could ever guess and providing an energy flow that keeps our standard of living propped up. Oil worship runs far deeper than most suspect. This from "Life After the Oil Crash"

"Are all forms of modern technology actually petroleum products?"

Yes.

It's not just transportation and agriculture that are entirely dependent on abundant, cheap oil. Modern medicine, water distribution, and national defense are each entirely powered by oil and petroleum derived chemicals.

In addition to transportation, food, water, and modern medicine, mass quantities of oil are required for all plastics, all computers and all high-tech devices. Some specific examples may help illustrate the degree to which our technological base is dependent on fossil fuels.

It's like being reborn into a new religion

They go on to cite a few examples but really they just scratch the surface. Our dependency on oil has seeped in silently into so many aspects of our everyday life that only when catastrophe strikes will we realize its full extant. But oil worship is just too darn fun! My high school years were during an oil boom. Rust Belt refugees flocked to the Panhandle to earn massive paychecks as roughnecks, rents went sky high and businesses were going like gangbusters. With all the free money flowing around, the urge to join in and get your share drove some to the limits of frustration. Thus was born "white oil".

While Oil is the nickname given to the condensate that forms in the pipes when pumping natural gas wells. The rules for spacing on gas wells is one every 64 acres. Oil well minimum spacing is much closer because the pockets are not near as large, something like every 4 acres. So what do you do if your neighbor finds natural gas and you want in on it but can't due to the spacing requirements? You drill anyway! Only you collect the condensate from the pipes and call it "oil" - thus you have an oil well, allowing you to drill right next to your neighbor's gas well. Eventually a ruling came down that disallowed such practices and the money had to be (begrudgingly) returned. A few years later, this was a common bumper sticker in my home town:

It's a visceral experience as the sun sets after a long, grueling day on an oil rig. To an outsider, your oily hands and sooty clothing are signs of a loathsome living, but to you and to those who know, you wear the uniform of birthing, bearing the labor pains that lets energy rush into our world. Each person seeks to be part of a greater cause and when standing at the entry port of the oil flow - running from well to refinery to plastics to the gasoline in the car you drive home - you feel deep in the heart of a living, breathing organism whose tentacles stretch into the four corners of the world. You leave the day dog tired but with a current of excitement knowing the running of the world depends on the labors of those like you.

At the other end of spectrum, we find that yes, success does spoil Rock Hunter. The same driving lust that brought bonanzas to the Big Rich afterwards ate them up. For while the oil god can bring a lifestyle unimaginable, it does not bring life itself. The Big Rich were the originators of the politics of hate - but of course that only reflected their own self-hatred. As they fruitlessly tried to fill the voids the oil god could not fill with toys and temptations, the more they rotted and frittered away their fortunes. Life is hell when you try to make your own self be the greater good.

This dream will die

For many, to kill the idea of a free ride in life is to kill the hope in life. The reality is just the opposite, the exhilaration of true meaning cannot be matched. But if this is unknown in one's life, one does not believe in it (not without true faith anyway). But our oil worship is setting us and children up for a fall. More from "Life After the Oil Crash":

Civilization as we know it is coming to an end soon. This is not the wacky proclamation of a doomsday cult, apocalypse bible prophecy sect, or conspiracy theory society. Rather, it is the scientific conclusion of the best paid, most widely-respected geologists, physicists, bankers, and investors in the world. These are rational, professional, conservative individuals who are absolutely terrified by a phenomenon known as global "Peak Oil."

The glib lie we tell ourselves is "We'll think of something. We're too smart to let something like that happen." Those who say this ascribe to themselves a false sense of faith in mankind and optimism that is not grounded in reality. We got a small taste of $4 a gallon gas and the pain was unbearable, but it's only a matter of time before the price is double that. That's the seduction of a false god: it lures you in with a free ride at the beginning, but now in the end stages the pain grows deeper and deeper depending on how long you wait to end the insanity.

Maybe we think we're proving something living this, shortsighted and destructive. "If I can live well like this I can live well forever." Well, it's true we're proving something - we're proving what our values are.

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Look, it's an ink well!