Saturday, March 21, 2009

It's a Madhouse! A MADHOUSE!



Click here before reading

Strapped in, lying in tatters, Shattered Me told the all-knowing Witch Doctors who never listen: I'm liking me less and less every day

Try looking at life from the sunny side up. Dance while you're dying and the dancing will become you!

I'm liking me less and less every day

There are no problems, only solutions. Look at what you can have, not what you can not have! Even if what you can't have is killing you.

I'm liking me less and less every day

You need a drug for your body so you won't feel what you feel. Then life can seem good again even though it's not!

I'm liking me less and less every day

We can't help you unless you help yourself! You are not responding to any of our treatments. It's obvious we need to take things in our own hands and run your life for you. That means mandatory dope and giving us satisfactory answers to our questions!

I'm liking me less and less every day

"Nurse Ratched, get the needle ready. We need to fix somebody - and I mean fix him good!"


Luckily, I was saved by an Adult:

"You monsters! He doesn't need your mind-altering pills or happy-talk philosophy - he needs love. Can't you see he's isolated and cut off? And that the only solution for that is to be not isolated and not cut off?"

"Well, how are we supposed to do that?"

"He needs to face himself so he can be free, he has truths untold. But only in facing ourselves can we also help him face his own self."

"Fuck that, I got 28 degrees that say I can do what I do. I got three car payments, a 19-year-old daughter in college and an upside down mortgage. No way I'm listening to a witch doctor like you! That's just a bunch of bullshit philosophy you're making up to make you feel good about what you do."

Shattered Me then spoke with what little shards of life I had left: Hey, doc, is the 19-year-old hot?

"Did you hear that?? You see how sick this son-of-a-bitch is? I'm going to socialize the fuck out of his ass so he will never talk like that again! You don't see me talking about my daughter's hot friends in their low cut jeans with their firm, tan legs and bulging breasts. I never talk about that!"

This forced the Adult to then beat the Witch Doctors to death with a baseball bat, much to my great relief. I felt as if a gun had been lowered from my temple. My breathing resumed and my near-comatose body twitched with returning life. Then a voice who was interested in me spoke:

"Tell me, Magnus Pym, what have you done?"

"I'm a liar and a double agent. I have betrayed people. People have died because of me - this I have seen with my own eyes. Even without the laws of men - which cruelly punish me beyond despair every day - the laws of nature cannot tolerate one such as me. I am my own enemy, forced to live deep underground in a lightless soul. The only way out is to escape what I've done - and how can one undo what one has done?"

"I cannot help you with that, of course. You'll have to answer for your crimes."

"I know. But letting me speak truly, helps."

"As was my intent." The Adult was warm and soothing, allowing me safety at last, not looking upon my unfaced truths as an excuse to exorcise a hardened heart or soothe a seething soul. But I knew he'd say more: "Shame I exist only in your imagination, though, huh?"

------------------------------------------



Hanssen is federal prisoner #48551-083 and is currently serving his sentence at ADX Florence, a Supermax federal penitentiary in Florence, Colorado, where he spends 23 hours per day in solitary confinement.

No comments: