Sunday, April 06, 2008

Random Thoughts in the Shadows

If you take away men's ability to make war, what have you? What are men really if they suddenly were no longer able to kill? I will tell you. They are slaves. Weak little creatures tethered to the moral strength of women. It's the dirty little secret all men try to hide. Men try to manufacture worth through war, hoping to somehow prove themselves as needed as they believe women to be. But the only way to hide the truth of who you are is to destroy everything you are. Many are the men with the courage to face death, few are the men with the courage to face life. Love takes more courage than war.

The only thing worse than not wanting to live is having to pretend you want to live when you don't. It cuts off your air.

I'd like to - but I can't.

I'd like to - but I won't.

Don’t bet on it.


"No. Noooooo. Please, not again. Please don’t. Dear God, help me. I can’t keep doing this. Please let me die. Please let me die. Just kill the world, God. Kill it all so I can live…"

"Do you love God, my son?"
"No, I don't love anyone who doesn't want me to live."
"Oh, but He does! He wants us all to live. There's not one of us he doesn't want to live!"
"He didn't want Jesus to live."

4,000 Soldiers killed in Iraq

The tragedy is far greater than that. But it drives home the point: Never, ever let yourself be used. Not by God or government or girls. You just end up dead in the end. Or worse – to be as I am – the living dead.

Writing while homeless is like writing while on a rollercoaster. Yes, there are some quiet moments but then the next thing you know you're dropping at a hundred miles an hour, screaming with terror, and by the time it's over you're in a place completely different than before.

    "Hey, dude, you’re naked!" giggled Stoner Guy.
    The nude Pretentious Man was dismissive: "You mental midget. Your problem is you're incapable of grasping the deeper meaning of what you see."
    "Whatever, man! All I know is I can see your wanker hanging down from here."
    "I seek to convey an idea far beyond your depth. It’s the intellectual dishonesty of clothing. We are all naked underneath. I am revealing that inner truth and thusly spreading enlightenment to the masses."
    "Oh, I get!" exclaimed Wannabe. "That’s brilliant! I want to spread enlightenment too!"

    Later, Stoner Guy got a phone call from the police station as his two cohorts asked to be bailed out from the "fascist, narrow-minded, conformist police cretins". Stoner Guy never did find the station - which was really OK because he was afraid to go there anyway. Afterwards, a movie executive called wanting to do a cinematic version of the trio's story which later became an art house smash.

The best thing about being alone is you never have to explain why you're crying.

Redneck motto: The more you bomb people, the safer you are.

It's not about who tells the most truth, but who can lie the best. That's the person we trust most. How else can we keep living a lie?

Nature knows all crimes.

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