Speaking Words Of Wisdom

So Paul claims his mother came to him in a dream "speaking words of wisdom." As I sit in my dank, dark hole I'm thinking I need me some words of wisdom. A dream in the night, a whispered prayer in my ear, or better yet, etched tablets from God. I'll take just about anything at this point in time.

Things are bad - maybe more bad than I can say - and are only going to get worse far as I can tell.

I would like to do something constructive with me life; beautiful and noble if yet on a dying planet. Be the light, so to speak. I am an empty urn yearning and aching to be filled.

Yes, many are those seeking guidance. But a shared pain does not lessen the agony. Help!

But God ain't talkin'. We're on our own. You can ask, but you will not receive.

"It's all bullshit. We're just here to die, end of story. Money is bigger than God. You say for me to ask?? OK, I'm asking!"

In the ensuing silence my thoughts turn towards Emily, and I think: traveling twice the speed of sound it's easy to get burned.

My interest is in nothing, null and void. How can I be interested in a life without her?

I start the march to my dreary bed, unspeakable cross of doom awaiting me in the morn. The monsters may not win every battle, but they've won every war.

What exit freedom?

So I gave up, all doors closing; and closed my eyes under the weight of my blanket of despair.

Then an angel appeared, asking I be not afraid.

"Oh, hell. I'm not some fucking shepherd. You know this insanity is almost over, don't you."

The angel said there was a message for me and did I want to see it?

Well, that was a strange question, I thought. I prayed for the damn message. Of course I want to see it!

Don't I?

Surely this is isn't one of those "Be careful what you wish for" moments. I mean, I'm at my wit's end, nowhere to go. What hope could I possibly have outside of this message? Of course, the only reason I'm getting it is just so God can prove me wrong (again) for saying I'd get no response.

So I said "Yes", with instant karmic regret.

In a vision that can never be erased, the angel unfolds the message with its flaming red letters: "WHERE'S THE GODDAM RENT?"