Hay, Charlize, I Have The Same Problem!

I too am "shockingly available"

Charlize Theron is looking to date but is only interested in those brave enough to ask.

The 43-year-old actress spoke about her dating life to Entertainment Tonight while at CinemaCon in Las Vegas on Thursday. Theron, who was promoting her upcoming film Long Shot, admitted finding a date wasn’t as easy as it looked.

“I’ve been single for 10 years, it’s not a long shot,” Theron said. “Somebody just needs to grow a pair and step up.”

She added, “I’m shockingly available.”

Hey, honey, I know exactly how you feel! Dang, I done lost count of the years I been single so I got your back, girl. And I've got just the pair for you - just say when and I'll show you them! We may have taken different socioeconomic paths but we sure did end up in the same place: star-crossed lovers doubtless meant to be.

How about a little dining al fresco? It will be scent-illating!

I'll take you to all the best restaurants, ones that throw out only the highest quality eats! And don't worry, I won't let any of the neighborhood cats get to the good stuff before we do. Trust me, you're in for some aromas you never smelled before. Variety is the spice of life, they say!

Yes, yes, who has time for a social life
when one has such a busy career??

While doubtful we travel in the same circles, I do think there's much we can talk about. I am a local political activist fighting tooth (literally, I only have one) and nail against these outrageous "No sleeping in the park" ordinances. To be frank, I bet there are many nuances to this you do not understand but, me, I'm more than happy to fill you in! (And, uh, you'll have to join the fight if you want to sleep with me - like I know you will, wink wink.)

I got a thong just like yours!

After I done swept you off your feet, we can sure get to be frolicking in the finest truck stop shower off I-45. We can rub our hineys agin one another - hawt, hawt, hawt! Hey, I been wanting to ask you: you ever had sex in your ear? I got a feeling you're in for something new! Believe me, lady, when you go homeless you never go back (I tried). You would not believe how ready I am to explode! I understand how you be looking for a different class of guy, and baby, I'm the guy for you!