Secrets Of State: The Beam In Their Eyes

Why are so many so afraid?

Bolivia reacted with fury after a plane carrying the country's president home from Russia was diverted to Vienna amid suspicions that it was carrying the surveillance whistleblower, Edward Snowden.

France and Portugal were accused of withdrawing permission for the plane, carrying the president, Evo Morales, from energy talks in Moscow, to pass through their airspace.

Officials in both Austria and Bolivia said Snowden was not on the plane. The Bolivian foreign minister, David Choquehuanca, said: "We don't know who invented this lie. We want to denounce to the international community this injustice with the plane of President Evo Morales."

"They need to get him no matter what!" she emphatically fumed, clicking off the TV. "Stop every jet if you have to! He's dishonorable and unforgivable!" She was alone in the living room but the need to make her position known made her verbalize it regardless. There are secrets - then there are Secrets. Secrets upon which life and death depend upon remaining deep in the darkest bowels no matter the price. Everyone need understand that principle.

She wished she'd never heard of this Snowden monster, tearing apart her life. Her husband gratingly calls him a "hero" and even some of her closest friends had turned betrayer on her, supporting his unthinkable act of treachery. The very support upon which her life depends was crumbling away. If they all sided with the traitor, what then?

She'd be abandoned, left to die in the street, friendless, unfriendable, with nowhere to go, no hope, nothing but a long, slow death and exposure as a useless fraud. In essence - in her mind - it was tantamount to murder.

She seethed with the thought of the enemies within her circle. The state must not be betrayed! It makes us safe, allows things to carry on as is - and God knows she didn't want a damn thing to change in her luxurious, bubbled world. If that traitor is allowed to live, no one will be safe. Anybody could say anything anytime, jeopardizing lives around the world!

She grabbed a large couch pillow in frustration, wrestling with it, cursing herself for having even turned on the news. But she was compelled to know, driven to know his fate, agonizing by the minute. If only her husband could see the light! Some secrets just can't be told!

He did it again at breakfast, that annoying habit of licking his teeth. "Do you have to do that?" she asked as she scurried away the finished plates. He shrugged. "You make such a big deal out of everything." She wanted to strangle him right then and there. She could almost make herself believe she was within her rights, the fury so blinding and passionate!

What horrible luck to get a husband who does not understand. If only she had that her course would be safe and her life set. But this was a man who supported a man who leaks the truth. Was it because they were both men? Was it simply a sexist conspiracy? She ached to be able to torture him into confessing the truth to put her mind at ease. One thing was becoming terrifyingly clear: she was on a collision course with an iceberg that would sink her ship.

And that was a state secret nobody must know!

People still buy into the myth of unsinkability

She had a luncheon date with her old college professor. He was a known leftist but after twenty years she couldn't cut him off just on fears of listening to his rhetoric on the traitor. If he went too far, if it became too unbearable, she'd scream right there in his face! As the fog cleared in her mind, the terrorizing size and shape of the oncoming berg loomed ever more ominously.

Safe in her car on the drive over, she mused upon the sins of her husband. Each day the mountain piled higher, she outraged at his self-serving oblivious nature. Could he not see the beam in his eye! She came to despise everything about him, the teeth licking jerk. If the man didn't reform it was only a matter of time before people would think she'd committed a dishonorable and unforgivable lie when she said "I do" over twenty years ago.

Had she?

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! Everybody needs to mind their own damn business and stop supporting leakers. Does everyone want the whole damn world to go down the drain?"

Though thoroughly aggravated, she knew she couldn't afford to blow her cover. The strain of being an undercover operative for so many years was beginning to frazzle her around the edges. Keep calm, play everything as normal. That Snowden affair has no effect on me. I'm the same as ever. Keep the image alive - no matter what.

The professor had always been a hollow leftist, a finger-pointing moralist of convenience rigid in his self-determination of unquestionable rightness - which made him wholly infuriating if you were on the opposite side of his closed-minded sanctimonious dictums. Published and revered in his own small community, he'd give no quarter if she were to contradict his absolutist stance. With great trepidation the cold war spy sat down at the restaurant table as she took great care not to appear unruffled while she roiled inside.

She inwardly groaned as he laid down his e-reader to display a Snowden article. "I see no patriotism here," he declared, nose firmly in the air. "He lacks the courage of his convictions." Exactly what she had always (secretly) thought of the windbag professor. Still, as things come to light, you never know when someone might make a truly principled stand. What an enormous relief to find an ally in her struggle!

"He's a terrible man," she rushed to agree, her blood pressure dropping yet fretful. "He should be condemned all around and made to shut up so no one will ever act like this again. Why can't people understand that?"

Darn, went too far in the emotion of my last statement. He might think I have something to hide. Control. Control!

The professor continued as if she'd never spoken. "Perhaps he will muster the courage at some point but a man truly dedicated to change - such as I - does not run. This fellow sullies his story, making it hard to sell freedom's rock. What a shame."

She was disappointed to find the cowardly professor more revulsive than ever as he spoke of another's lack of courage. Could he not see the beam in his eye? Say nothing! He's an ally you can't lose! Try to find some common ground.

"He obviously just wants to ruin everything for everybody, completely reckless. I don't think he gives a damn about anything but his own personal situation." She stabbed a piece of lettuce as proof.

The professor was irked by her obvious self-projection. He'd put up with it over the years but it was getting so obvious he started to publicly cringe. The only thing that concerned her was keeping the secret her marriage is a lie. There were no public principles at stake in her conclusions! What a fraud she was to be talking policy. Could she not see the beam in her eye?

"Oh, he certainly may have had the right motives," grudgingly conceded the professor, ever conscious of his need to keep his standing in the truly liberal community. But his words were like a stake through her heart. Obviously he wanted her dead!

"What possible good motive could there be? Answer me that! He'd destroy everything if he got the chance. He has to be gotten under control before it's too late! You must be out of your mind." She sat back in her chair, her arms defiantly folded and face glaring in direct accusation. The learned man stared back for a moment before calmly resuming his meal. "Don't worry," he elaborated with his eyes firmly planted on his plate, "the secret of your false marriage is perfectly safe."

"What? What are you talking about?" His demeanor remained unflappable as his eyes lifted upwards. "Well, you're just crazy if you ask me. This isn't about me and you don't know what you're talking about! And who are you to say anything? God forbid you should say anything even the slightest bit controversial to risk your oh-so-important approval! You wouldn't know a principle if it bit you on the butt."

She stammered and staggered her way back to the car, her life in Roman ruins, crumbling without shelter. How long had he known? Who else knew? Damn them all! None of them can help! Her marriage has to be real and sustainable - that's all anybody needs to know. The iceberg of truth won't be destroying me. That's for those other losers. I'm a winner! Just look at my house!