Simone The Cat Doesn't Understand

Simone doesn't understand why Amelia and I are not friends anymore. I thought I knew the answer - until I tried to explain. Like an apparition in the night, it vanishes when the light comes on. But it seems so real in the dark. So I could say nothing.

Then she asked why do I sleep on a bed of nails. I didn't want to say just nothing again so I said it was to make up for losing Amelia. But the minute I spoke the idiocy of that was obvious.

Simone asked that I not sleep on a bed of nails so she could crash with me at night. Unable to accommodate her, I decided to be clever and lie to myself, saying I knew she didn't really mean that. "Aha, I got out of your request!"

Then she asked why I hit myself in the head with a hammer. I gave the answer so loved by the terminally vain: "I'm trying to knock some sense into me!" Then I felt really stupid as I had a sudden urge to run for office to prove my worth.

Fearing the fate of the stupid, I haltingly, desperately, futilely tried to explain my dilemma to my non-understanding cat. "I didn't actually deserve her...I was afraid...How could she respect me..." Around and round I went, no answer standing the test of light. Damn, no one's going to elect me, are they?

So I had to let it go, watching the shadows of a windswept tree dancing on my wall. Like some old time priest who lashes himself in the night I wondered if sleeping on my bed of nails really does make up for losing relationships. These were people I wanted to know for the rest of my life. I have to do something.

I read this story today of how corrupt DA offices around the country are outsourcing bounced check cases to third party enterprises with a license to kill. Anyone who bounces a check these enterprises falsely threaten with jail time and prosecution unless the person pays exorbitant fees. People are confused, thinking it's actually the DA office threatening them. Once they found out they were being duped they filed class action suits - and won.

So the companies got a law passed to make their illegal behavior legal, deeming their deception suddenly moral. We allow these predators to live among us because of our lust for false morality. "I have the right to fuck you because you made a mistake!(?)" They too can't explain why they do what they do. Simone just doesn't understand.

I get up to lock the front door, to make myself safe from my stupidity. "We must seal our borders to ensure security!" I boldly declare, still hoping for lost votes. But I can't hide my prying eyes. I must make amends for your sins. The reins of life I throw to the winds.

Simone purrs and rubs up against my leg. I pick her up and hold her, feeling smart. Then I put her back down to return to my bed of nails, feeling dumb. Simone doesn't understand. Neither do I.