"We love you! We believe you! We trust you!"
"Yes, thank you, thank you. I appreciate those kind words and I do not take them lightly! I will not let you down! You people are the salt of the earth. God bless you all!"
"Give 'em hell, Harry!
And with that resounding send off, Mr. Kunt went to Washington. Harry Kunt was a man of the people - no better, no worse. The campaign had been a glorious magical ride for the ages. While the rest of the candidates tried to sell a false front of war, Harry ran only as himself. He was not the "mad dog ranter", he was not tripping over himself to prove what a fraud the other guy was, and never did Harry say anything but what he wanted. It was that last aspect that saved him.
"That clueless fuck will never win."
The entrenched Senator Selout had gained plenty of clout over the years, a shameless apologist for corporations and a broker of back room deals for his own enrichment. His disdain for his constituents mushroomed exponentially as he learned the more evil he did the less they wanted to know. Sure, selling his soul to polluters, money men and scallywags was reported and plain for all to see but a successful whisper campaign brainwashed a willing populace.
"You have to do those things or you'd never get elected!"
But Harry Kunt had no idea he had to beg, borrow or steal. He simply asked, "What about we who vote?" And here he struck at the core of the of Senator Selout's weakness who had absolutely no intention of ever representing his constituents. "Never give a sucker an even break," he was oft quoted. He betrayed voters at every turn, sowing their demise as they cheered him on, the petty king standing tall.
Selout was always the first to get out in front of the latest wave of anger, quick to point the finger at the "true" cause of their woes. Every corrupt politician needs a Jew to blame his sins on. It allows him to speak his mind without fear. "Want to know who your enemy is? It's the government and big corporations! I'm forced to protect polluters, to promote the interests of Big Oil even as it steals billions from our pocketbook every day. And what does the government do but stand in the way of progress! We must put a stop to this!"
Senator Selout was a master of the Big Lie. Only one thing he never counted on: an honest speaking man running for office. Harry refused to play the game, claiming his actual thoughts, giving no defense. With his poll numbers slipping the sitting Senator waged a heavy campaign of bribery. "Remember how powerful I am! Don't you want power? It takes power to save us!" But his specious logic rang hollow against Harry's honest words. Harry got in by a whisker.
"I have to think myself a good man for the good of all."
Like all politicians, Harry believed his being elected to office proof of his goodness. While ex-Senator Selout was back home stirring up hate and anger to ride his way back into office, Senator Kunt was walking in the clouds. A good man at last, he'd learned to talk the talk. In some ways, he wished the race would never end. This joyous journey meant a release of so many nagging doubts and questions he'd had about who and what he was. From now on, no more doubts, no more questions.
"If I'm doing it, then it must be good! I'm the salt of the earth."
His first day in office, the polluters came knocking on his door as they feared an honest speaking man may not protect the toxicity they cherished more than life itself. "We've had a change of heart. We know you're a good man and want to help you in any way we can. Please let us donate to your campaign to further your good works!" The polluters were old pros: say anything but do nothing. Harry Kunt thanked them profusely, praising the polluters on the Senate floor for all to hear.
"Goddamit, that used to be me."
The ex-Senator's hate campaign fell on deaf ears, the people having none of it. "We've elected an honest man to show we are an honest people. Long live Harry Kunt!" Self-loathing heavy as boulders had weighed on them, breaking their backs and hearts. While in office, the ex-Senator had thrown rock upon gleeful rock on them. "Take that! And that! And that! And that!" The more his own self-loathing grew so did his contempt for anyone who'd vote for such a beast. Like all abusers, his fall came thinking it could last forever.
"The witch is dead!"
But Harry and his followers, the "Kunt Licks", were giddy as golden children. A new day had dawned, blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. And these wise voters knew they were pure in heart because they had voted themselves to be! Nothing can stand in the way of this new and godly good feeling. It was enough for many to say, "We are saved." Say anything, do nothing.
"A blameless soul is he, thus a blameless soul are we."
But a man can only serve one master, be it truth or lies. The economy had failed and good Harry Kunt must save it! The polluters very carefully explained that less pollution equals less jobs. The good Harry must compromise! Senator Kunt made an impassioned speech how the perfect cannot be the enemy of the good. "Do not be swayed by the radical food eaters or selfish cancer patients. I'm a pragmatist and a good man. I know of what I speak! There is no other way but to pollute."
"You understand NOTHING about politics!"
Back home the Kunt Licks faced their first fracture. "That Kunt betrayed us! He's supposed to stop the pollution!" But most feared losing the good feeling of believing a good man elected, retorting Harry Kunt must be trusted without fail or the bad witch will return. Hearing these rumblings, the good Kunt knew he must come to the rescue like no other man can!
"I will pass a law like no law ever passed before!"
So began the Great Crusade. Kunt vowed to bring all sides together, being a man above mere right and wrong. "Polluters are people too!" In the end came the Grand Solution: Pollution will be declared no longer to be poisonous, therefore we are safe! To be on the very safe (politically) side, the declaration would not be made until years down the road lest reality interfere beforehand. Can't rush the right thing to do!
"Fix the flaws later!"
Kunt Licks sang with joy at the news of finally an answer to pollution! "It doesn't have to be perfect. But it's a start! A landmark decision!" Although claiming to be anti-pollution the Kunt Licks embraced this Solution In Name Only (SINO). To not support the SINO, they claimed, was to be pro-pollution, pro-witch and anti-reality. Kunt proudly squawked how he had solved a problem where many a man before had failed.
"Changes are coming for the better. Disregard the nonbelievers’ ill will!"
But the pollution itself knew of none of these political victories, cocky claims or especially of its "defeat". It did not know it was no longer poisonous as it spread faster than ever its ruthless cancerous regime. Why stop it? The problem had been solved! Those who fell ill were demonized by the witch's supporters as they sought to protect their poisoned profits. But with the passing of the SINO, the sick were also demonized by the Kunt Licks as they sought to protect their leader.
So who was protecting the people?
Self-betrayal became the new standard bearer of morality. Any man caught believing in himself was deemed traitorous and "out of touch with the times". Energy needed to clean up the pollution was instead diverted to "making everyone feel good" about their betrayal. That is how they would win! Reason was shunted aside in the name of being reasonable. But despite all the victories in debates, all the SINO laws passed in vain, or time spent enforcing "correct behavior", everything they tried to save was lost for the ages.
Say anything, do nothing.
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