I never felt so alone stranded in the nebula as I have on this crowded planet.
This planet is an even worse hell than I imagined it could be. Maybe I would have been better off staying hopelessly inside the Xebulan Nebula after all. What can there possibly be for me on a nihilistic, backwards, barbaric place like this? What is the reward for facing life on an outpost not yet accepting the Universe? Yes, I too in a moment of insanity rejected the Universe but how is this any sort of answer even if it is the only portal out of a nebula?
Only by their willful ignorance do they survive the day. (The nights they are not surviving.) Their creed is to reject reality at all costs. We all know about these types of planets but to be on one is an entirely different matter living with the butchers who swing blades in a blind fury convinced of their righteousness. With these sort, there is no bargaining, there is no reasoning. When not on a death cult planet one assumes from afar there has to be at least a glimmer of hope for reason and sanity among the savages but I can tell you now there is none. My heart breaks irrevocably.
They live awash in a sea of illusions. I think part of their problems is the sheer amount of energy it takes to keep propping them up! The fact they are one world/one people is wholly foreign in their thoughts and actions. They take their self-made groupings seriously to the point of killing! Can you imagine the insanity? Identical beings killing one another over a fiction of difference? My head spins with these endless terms they use I cannot follow or understand. But I can say the most disturbing utterance I've heard is their proclamation they are more than one race!
So you see what I'm up against. "Nations". "Religions". "Parties". These things cannot be seen (because they don't exist) but they live and die by them! Who can understand it? Is this how my Maker felt when I ran from the Universe? Have I committed such insanity myself? Did I break the heart of my Maker by rejecting an obvious truth? It's horrible to think I've committed such a crime but it would make sense as to why I'm forced to witness the cruelty of an unsaved world like this one.
I will speak of their savagery but I feel few will believe it. They have the resources to feed themselves but great portions go hungry. They have the resources to house themselves but great portions are forced outdoors. Indeed, instead of acknowledging their mutual weaknesses, they use them against one another! A soul must be deemed "worthy" before having its needs met. And who is making these judgements? Savages, of course, because only a savage would have the gall to judge who should eat and who should not. It is no secret they believe they are their own god.
To even mention the idea of salvation is to risk one's life. How can there be hope when one cannot even start the conversation! I know it sounds like an exaggeration but it is not and I hope this writing can serve as a warning for those as foolish as I. To propose cooperation over coercion is blasphemy to them (even as their coercion is naturally the true blasphemy). They have endless false excuses on why cooperation cannot be but surely the most outrageous is stating the Maker wishes they oppress by withholding vital needs from each other.
I cannot fully express the unpleasantness of living here. Story goes when the Savior came he was mocked, tortured and killed by the cruelest means possible. They even brag about it daily! "He died for our sins," they boast. They've obviously yet to realize that killing to hide your sins makes them no less visible to the Maker. This is a tragedy beyond words. From what I understand they've been senselessly arguing about who the murdered Savior would love most ever since. Is there no end to their disbelief?
Instead of banding together as they need to, they relentlessly pursue better and better ways to destroy one another, where the good is washed away with the bad. They feverishly work on devices of self-destruction - all in the name of preventing destruction! I can tell you I can see no way one can value one's life on a planet like this. Do not make a death cult worse by coupling it with killing devices! How do they stand the weight of their worry?
But the scariest part by far is their fanatical allegiance to the death cult. These unpurged planets are unspeakable nightmares. I kid you not when I tell you they put poison in their air, land, and water. Then they tell you it's the only way to live! To suggest otherwise incurs a wrath and hatred that will not brook the disagreement of even one. "There is no other possible Way!" Using the weight of sheer numbers, the spiritually retarded rule here in absolute confidence though they know on some level their time is short.
They define the perversity of their death cult with numbers. I guess they picked numbers as a god because they see them as finite, not requiring of faith. Before anything is done - no mater how obvious the need - they must first consult these mysterious numbers (don't ask me how they come up with them). If for example, a bridge is decaying and they could get hurt from it, do they fix it? No! They have to "See what the numbers say" first. No matter how critical, these illusory number gods come first.
I know I cannot complain of my misery having placed myself in this position. But miserable I am. They beg to live while needlessly agreeing to starve one another. They seek security by killing but reject the unstoppable power of peace. They speak of numbers as salvation - as if numbers were love. These things I must overcome. Having not finished my journey, I cannot speak to what the final wisdom is. I do know I have seen sorrow here on an unimaginable scale. Come here one and all, all ye doubters of the Maker! Come witness the unbearable hell created when the Maker is rejected, forsaking the only Way that works.