Wednesday, June 08, 2011

How Mikey Stopped Worrying And Learned To Rob A Bank


It's amazing how sometimes people that merely brush by us in life can leave a mark that never leaves. I remember heading to the Dallas Museum of Art years ago seeking solace, lost in my life. And there she was in a sun dress, the absolute picture of perfection, flashing me a world class smile. It was like God had created her from a diagram out of my head. My soul thirsteth for thee.

In my other life, she would have changed me, fulfilling me into manhood. But in this life, my usual negativity let out no reaction. But it was shocking to see my intimate dream come to life. In a movie I saw, they called these encounters "a recognition" and if you don't grab onto it you ask "What if?" for the rest of your life. I can testify to the truth of that.

But Mike wasn't anything like that. He was just another shmuck who'd had a swim through the shelter but I could tell he was transitory, uninteresting and stuck in minimum wage hell. He wasn't in the best of shape and I knew the world would write him off like a debt gone bad and whatever hell he suffered would be his own. I'll say it again: How does anyone see a future in this??????

I often ask myself: how does everyone take this shit all the time? I walk around seething, just waiting for the wrong move to be made on me. That's because I know you assholes. You do shit because you can. Most people determine right and wrong by what it is they are allowed to get away with. That's also why most people are sociopaths. Society says it's OK for me to drag you out of your home and leave you to die so therefore it must be true.

If you had the capacity to connect that to your own fate, oh boy you'd sing a different song!

If I can't see what you're saying that means you're wrong!

Turns out part of the mystery has been solved: people aren't coping that well after all! Mikey cracked, robbing hisself a genuine bank, he did!

Michael Buckley started the morning of May 24 by walking to a neighborhood doughnut shop, where he sat down, wrote a note and smoked a cigarette.

It was a desperate time for the 54-year-old former grocery stocker, who was living with his brother in Bedford.

His health was bad, he had just $5 to his name and his brother had ordered him out of the house by the end of the month.

So after leaving the doughnut shop, Buckley walked into a Wells Fargo bank in Hurst on East Pipeline Road and robbed it of about $700. He then walked back to his brother's home.


A statement on unemployment

How's that for a give up plan? He may as well of just walked into a police station with "Fuck me" written on his shirt. Poor bastard. When I heard he was going to live with a relative I thought: "Either he's got some salt-of-the-earth relatives or this is the first time he's imposed." When you're homeless, man, you ain't got no family. Only real family you have is on the street.

After showing neighboring business employees a surveillance photo of Buckley, Hurst police tracked him down within hours and arrested him.

Buckley recalled that day during a recent interview from the Tarrant County Jail Greenbay Facility.

"It was just stupid," Buckley said. "I didn't plan to hurt anyone, but I was just desperate."


If you're desperate it must be because you're shit. That's the rule isn't it? That's how we feel good about ourselves while hanging each other out to dry. We publicly wonder why our politicians are power-tripping maniacs without any regard for the truth. But that's because they are just like all the rest of us. Remember: don't let on you're hurting or we'll find out you're shit too!

A few weeks ago, Buckley said, he was watching a television show about a New York stockbroker who had lost his job. The stockbroker, using a disguise, began robbing banks.

"I had thought of committing suicide, but I decided that wasn't the answer. I thought maybe I would become homeless," Buckley said. "Then I saw that show. He handed a note and I thought, maybe I could do that. I didn't have a disguise and I didn't have a car like he did."

On the night of May 21, Buckley decided he had to take action.

"It was a family party and everyone was there. I decided then I was tired of being looked down on," Buckley said. "I had no life."

Relatives declined to comment.



Ah, that last line is priceless! But I'm telling ya, no way no how should unemployed people be allowed to watch TV. It simply skews all your perspective of reality. I know this doesn't make sense to those who haven't stepped through to the other side of the mirror but you see there's no room for the hopeless in TV land. When you're alone in the world, staring at the magic box of imagined life, you feel there just has to be an answer in there somewhere that you're missing.

And if you fall for the TV lie, you stick your foot in it like Mikey did.

On the morning of May 24, Buckley put on a black T-shirt and bluejeans, and grabbed his John Peter Smith Hospital bag and loaded it with three bottles of heart and blood pressure medication.

When he arrived at the bank, he said, he handed over the note, which read: "This is a holdup. No dye-pack. No funny stuff. Put in $20s and $50s."

Over 90 percent of bank robberies are "note jobs," according to the FBI.

"My heart was just beating so hard," Buckley said. "The clerk looked at me like 'I don't believe this,' but she gave me the money."

As he walked out, Buckley said, "Thank you very much."

Buckley walked to a nearby store, bought a white T-shirt and a pack of Marlboros, and then walked home.

He's been charged with robbery and faces a maximum of 20 years in prison if convicted.


Funny thing about our neo-Roman society. The unemployed are the new gladiators, duking it out for mere scraps of jobs, entertaining us with their do-or-die struggle. Mikey's desperation makes for good copy! Watch with delight as we wrangle the homeless and unemployed to the ground, hauling them away in shameful cuffs. What separates us from the Romans, however, is that we always give a thumbs down. We're that goddam sure of our rightness.

The ruling Caesars squander their resources, making up the difference by taking from others and putting them into the streets. But if any of those street people dare take anything back, we drop the hammer on them for disrupting this "perfect order" we've created. That's sort of like arresting the bullet while letting the shooter go free. Fill everyone with truth serum and you'd find no one believes all this bullshit rhetoric we spout on the "greatness" of the American way.

Buckley said he has told relatives not to pay his $15,000 bail.

"I have no place to go," he said. "I thought I had a few days of freedom, but I knew I was going to get caught."

Buckley apologized to the bank clerk and his family.

"I'm very sorry for what I did," Buckley said. "I dug this grave and I'll be buried in it."


I shudder to think what's going to happen. Does putting this man behind bars truly make us safer? Does our holy pretense really mean that much to us? Let's just admit we're fucked and start feeding, clothing, housing and providing medical care for free. But we are a proud and stubborn people who cling to our illusions of life. But Michael Buckley is prophetic in his words, revealing the fate of us all: We're digging this grave and we'll be buried in it.

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