Saturday, June 04, 2011

A Dissection Of My Previous Post



I heard a boy call out this name while walking down the street, his voice like an air raid siren: a high pitch on the first part, a low pitch on the last. I don't know who Sarah is, but I do know she is lost to him. I recognized that pain. In a reflex, I immediately looked around me to see if anyone noticed my unmistakable look of recognition. I fear what they might say of this knowledge gleaned from me, of the disaster that is my life.

Moments like these are happening every day, winding their way through us like radio waves, showing our resonance of love. When we are in sync with love, the sound is good and people rush to hear, but when we fall out of sync we clang like a sour gong and people cover their ears. Yet each of us is tied to strive to weave the sounds of love regardless of the cost. It's the only way out.

But like a radio play, I can't always see you. I just know you by the words you speak - and the universal truths I already know. God help the clever, it's a dangerous thing this radio play. I may tell you I'm rich when I'm poor or poor when I'm rich. As love is the ultimate goal of every life, whatever we think will get us love is what we'll say. Ergo, we sometimes build a love based on deception - even if knowing it's not a love that can last.

The name for these people is "deceivers". But what does the deception gain the deceiver? Only time away from true love. It was said Judas was the most good-looking and intelligent of the disciples. But when the deception was unmasked, he was shown to be the most ugly and stupidest of anyone. So it's easy to see how a life can become devoted to preventing that moment of unmasking. At least Judas had his moment.

God help those who don't.

The world is like a community that lives on the surface but is in actuality run by a secret cave down below. In that cave are the deceivers as by their nature they must hide. Every once in a while comes a truth seeker shining a light into the underworld and when that happens the deceivers put out that light. To the surface dwellers comes misery as they are thrust back into darkness. Some even call it a sin - or crazy or weird or lunacy - to be a beacon of truth. They think they can live without it.

But like any flower, we cannot live without light.

And flowers are what we are, to grow or die as is our choice. Even as our consciousness grows, so equally has our denial of the need for light. The final public light of this world was extinguished on December 8, 1980, plunging us into the war torn, greed-based hell that we know today. Though we like to (funnily enough) debate it, all plans are futile without love. Just because we say it's impossible has no bearing on the truth. That's merely a deception that only lives in the dark.

If you read the Playboy interviews just before Lennon's death, you can see how in the minds of the deceivers he was someone who had to be stopped, a person who would expose their wicked ways to come, of the falseness of their plays. They seek salvation in death so what hope have they of life? These men of evil are still revered to this day, the mask of their Judas lives intact. But what have they gained? A love stillborn.

So am I truth-teller or deceiver? Am I ugly or beautiful? I see myself as Martin Sheen headed down the river in Apocalypse Now reading the profile of a madman whom he must destroy. But in this case that profile is his own and what he finds at the end of his journey is that it has taken him far, far away from home. He looks back down the river at who was before, at how much more alive he was and how he'd have that life if only he'd gotten off to live.

All things are already known. When I hold a mirror in front of someone, if they see beauty they speak. A few speak of the ugliness. But what does silence say? Speak or not, the truth of what you see of yourself is revealed either way. When we face ourselves, when we face there is only love - or death without it - the flower will open and peace will blossom. No more wars, no more need. If this is the truth, how can anything else be our fate?

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