Saturday, January 31, 2009

Neo Blade Runner: Republicant Hunter

Molten lava monster comes dripping down the road, leaving potholes of steam and footprints of disaster. His bowler hat was flaming, his bulging eyes were aiming, and his burning lips were blaming. With snarling flame he greeted a passerby.
"Well," blushed the passing woman, "Hello, Mr. Mayor."
And then he ate her.


"That's the problem with Republicants: they look like humans, but they aren't. Republicants can act like a human and actually hold down human jobs. Hell, some don't even know they're not human. Those are the scariest. Laughing, crying, singing along with the rest of us - if you're not careful you might forget they're not human too. Until they take over your society and you're left with nothing but ruins and tales of a once glorious past."

"I'm a Neo Blade Runner, hunting down Republicants, shining a light on them - then watching them hiss and scurry like guilty cockroaches. Republicants hate the light - just like they hate the humans. In order to imitate the humans, Republicants must carry a piece of humanity within them to carry out the deception. But the Humanity Piece tortures them, weighs on them and remains in constant warfare for the duration of the Republicant's life. When they speak of an 'enemy that must be crushed', rest assured, it's an enemy within."

"The most important thing for Republicant infiltration, obviously, is not be seen for what they are. They must demonstrate themselves as caretakers and saviors of a society. The best time for infiltration is when good things start going bad. And, boy, have things been going bad lately. Like the bugs they are, Republicants come crawling out of the woodwork with promises to make it all good again - with one simple catch: make the Republicant king. But once a King Unit takes hold, wholesale devestation follows."

"Not all Republicants actively penetrate, some merely follow in the miners' footsteps. Like support beams in a mine shaft, they shore up inroads already burrowed. It sounds like mindless work because it is. These units are Disconnects, having disconnected the brain mechanism from receiving messages of reality. King Units love the Disconnects for their blind obedience and cheerful ignorance. They mockingly call them 'useful' for their gleeful willingness to sacrifice their - and everyone else's - welfare for the greater good of Republicants - not that there is any greater good. Of course, these units are only gleeful of their demise because of the disconnected brain."

"On the surface, it may seem difficult to spot a Republicant from a human - especially since they have the Human Piece to avoid being exposed as the parasites they are. But really it's just a matter of looking. Republicants don't have feelings - so they are silent when others suffer and loud when quiet is solemn. When a Republicant leaves a room, the room is always angrier than when he entered. You see, no matter how hard they try, they just can't quite master the human touch. Instead, they leave a grating, searing mark on the human souls they encounter. That's when Republicants turn around and slyly whisper: 'Don't you feel stupid for being human? It's smarter to be like we are.'"


The angel calls the demon a "demon" because that's what the demon is. The demon calls the angel a "demon" - because that's what the demon is. The words are the same. It's up to you to decide who's lying.

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