Won't You Take Me To Oda Town!

So Mark Cuban, the Jed Clampett of Dallas, has done bought his hisself a whole town! Says he doesn't know what he wants to do with it but knowing his luck "up through the ground come a bubbling crude". Luckily for him, I have an even better idea - even if painfully obvious: build a recreation of Japanese warlord Oda Nobunaga's Azuchi castle. Duh!

Truth be told, this wouldn't even be the first Asian landmark recreation in Texas. That distinction belongs to The Forbidden Gardens, just outside of Katy near Houston.

Forbidden Gardens was built in 1997 at the pleasure of Ira P. H. Poon, AKA "Mr. Poon," a Hong Kong real estate mogul who wanted people of Asian descent (including his teenage children) to know something of Asian culture besides firecrackers and kung-fu. Mr. Poon lives in Seattle, but preferred constructing the sprawling exhibit somewhere outdoors, open year-round, on flat, cheap land, where there was a large Asian population. Houston, 25 miles east of Forbidden Gardens, has the third highest in the nation.

Terra-cotta army.

People visit Forbidden Gardens from all over the world, particularly from China. We were told the Chinese government makes travel within China so difficult that it's easier to fly to America and see a miniature replica than it is to stay home and see the real thing.

The attraction, built for an estimated $20 million, covers 40 acres and 2,000 years of Chinese history. It is a curious, impressive, motionless place on the Texas flatlands, with its tranquil courtyard, shaded arcades, koi fish pond, the smell of incense in the thick air and the sounds of Chinese zither plucking from hidden speakers.

Alas, the Forbidden Gardens closed in 2011 due to highway construction. Shame. But now we have to a chance to avenge that wrong. The surprising confluence of Japanese culture in DFW makes this the perfect place for what would be the crown jewel. In Plano, we have the national headquarters for Toyota. In Dallas, the The Ann and Gabriel Barbier-Mueller Museum: The Samurai Collection boasts the largest collection of samurai armor outside of Japan (and it only keeps growing). Fort Worth has one of the top Japanese Gardens in the country. Mistuwa grocery store and Kinokuniya bookstore also have rare locations here. Like I said, building a Japanese castle is painfully obvious at this point.

Just imagine driving down the highway and seeing an exotic Asian silhouette reaching out to the sky. People would be crawling over themselves to get to it. Oda Nobunaga was the greatest mind in Japanese history, a man from a small, weak province who led the conquest of a nation. His was the first of the great castles, built more as a palace than a military structure.

Accoutrements would include a satellite installation of the Barbier-Mueller museum (they have enough to fill several museums),  small garden, along with Torii gates and stunning red Japanese bridges, recreation of a fuedal village, and maybe even a ryokan (traditional Japanese inn). It would be as magical as any Disney park but overflowing with the history of one of the most unique cultures in the world.

Azuchi:

You're welcome, Mark!