Be My Friend?

Are you still my friend?

No.

Why not?

Just because.

OK.

I just don't want to be friends anymore. Stop talking to me.

OK.

I don't want to talk about it, OK?

OK.

I'm just sick of your shit. I don't want to hear your shit any more. I'm not going to listen to it.

OK.

See? You always have to be right. You have to fucking know everything! You don't, you know.

OK.

Oh, like you knew that until I told you! Don't take credit for my enlightenment!

OK.

Still the smart ass! You keep up with that smart ass crap and no one's going to be your friend.

OK.

Friends SUPPORT friends. All you fucking do is criticize.

OK.

You think I'm buying all this agreement but I know better! I see right through you!

OK.

Just get out of my face. I'll drink what I want to drink. It's MY damn body, not yours. It's not like you give a damn anyway.

OK.

Yeah, I knew it. All you care about is being right. Let's all bow down and worship the goddam ground you walk on.

OK.

That was sarcasm, moron. You've got nothing to offer me. I'll do just fine without you.

OK.

I'm going to swallow this whole bottle of cyanide! What do you think of that?

OK.

What? No Mr. Know-it-all this time?? "You'll die! It'll ruin your life! Blah, blah blah." Asshole!

OK.

You're not fooling me! I know inside you're just dying to tell me what to do, to point out all my faults. Well, fuck you, asshole. We are done! I'm sick of this shit, sick of it, sick of it!

OK.

OK, jerkwad, I'll give you one last chance. I'm opening up this bottle and I'm downing the WHOLE thing. You have to either support me or leave.

OK.

Alright then, I'm drinking the whole thing this time. What do you have to say to that??

OK.

Then she stopped, freezing her arm halfway to her mouth. She stared intently at the bottle of lethal poison, then me. She went back and forth several times until finally: "You fucker! Just trying to get me killed, aren't you!" Then she stormed off throwing the bottle in the trash.

Damn this is hard.